For some time now, I've been ambivalent about this blog. Life is different than it was back in the day when blogging began, and I just haven't had the desire to write in the way I used to in this space. The blog has kind of become a place for me to keep a running list of books I'm reading, which, now that I'm on Goodreads, is somewhat redundant I guess. Anyway, I just finished reading a book that I would like to say a few words about, and the blog seems a good place to do so. I'm thinking that maybe revamping my blog to a place where I discuss books sometimes might be a good way to keep this space meaningful again.
Anyway, the book I just finished is Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith From Fear by Jinger Duggar Vuolo. First, an honest confession: I never watched any of the TV shows about the Duggars and wasn't really a fan, but I was aware of them and knew some of their story just by virtue of living through the years their lives were being broadcast on TLC and, being involved in the evangelical Christian subculture and social media world, I would hear things. Anyway, I recently heard Jinger Duggar Vuolo when she was a guest on the Allie Beth Stuckey podcast discussing her new book, and I was very intrigued, so I preordered the Kindle book, which I just finished reading tonight.
First of all, I very much appreciate how Jinger carefully explains that she has not "deconstructed" her faith in the way we've seen too much of recently where some well-known Christian basically leaves the faith altogether, but she has done what she beautifully calls "disentangled" unbiblical, unhelpful, or false teaching from what is biblical and true, and has emerged with genuine, sweet, freedom and faith in the Jesus who loves His people and has kindly led her out of deception into a vibrant, living, life-giving, biblically sound faith.
The Duggar family was very involved with the ministry of Bill Gothard, and what Jinger describes in her book is the way his mishandling of scripture led to bad teaching and fear and legalism, and this is what she has left behind, while coming to grips with the things that she believed that weren't biblical, while she learned to dig in and, like the Bereans, see what the Bible really teaches. And in that process, to find freedom from legalism and fear-filled rule following to a vibrant relationship with the living Christ, full of His forgiveness and grace.
I was surprised at how much I could relate to her journey. I realized that a lot of what I experienced, especially early on in my church experience, while not nearly as extreme in the legalism, was a lighter version of it. I even think I remember some Bill Gothard seminars being held at the church where I grew up when I was very young, or if not his ministry, it was something very similar. What I do remember struggling a lot with was the incessant teaching that I had to get the faith from my head to my heart, and I just never knew if I had really, truly, truly repented enough, and the suspicion that God wasn't ever really truly pleased with me. I remember the relief I felt when I finally realized that it isn't how well I repented, how strongly I believed, but rather it was WHO I was believing and trusting that made all the difference. My faith isn't in my ability to believe perfectly enough, my faith is in Jesus Himself and what He has done to redeem me! I realized as I read this book that, by God's grace, my "disentangling" has been a gentler process than Jinger has had to go through, because I think the entrenchment in legalistic teaching was much less profound for me, but I did have a lot disentangling that He has brought me through, and God has graciously brought me to that same place through years of good teaching and years of reading my Bible well, and I also realized how thankful I am for my parents. They were always skeptical of the legalistic teachings that were often interwoven in our church experience, and they taught me early on to examine the Scriptures and compare any teaching to what I knew of God's word. Add to that, in God's Providence I found Alistair Begg's Truth for Life broadcast many years ago, which also led me to other good, biblical resources, and listening to years of solid, biblical, grace-filled teaching made a huge impact on my understanding. God is so good. And I'm thankful for the way He worked in Jinger's life and allowed her to write this encouraging book, and I am thankful that I can look back on my life and see how God has protected me from deception and led me in the truth and allowed me to grow in my love for Jesus. He truly is worth it all.
This is one of my favorite quotes from the book: "My faith is as strong as it's ever been - not because Christianity tells me the right way to live or unlocks some 'key to success' but because I can find no one more compelling, more lovely, more hopeful than Jesus."
Amen. This is my testimony, too.
I really recommend this book.
