Have you ever had someone believe or say something about you that wasn't true, and they persist in it even when corrected by someone who knows you well and cares about you? Have you ever had someone in your life you found it hard to love, or even like very much? I think we've all had that at one time or another.
I was recently talking to my wise friend who counseled me to live in the Psalms when this kind of thing happens. Psalm 34:22 says, "The LORD redeems the soul of His servants, and none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned." That's a good promise to camp out on when you feel wronged or alone. Because I'd much rather camp out on God's word and let my feelings take a back seat. But sometimes that's easier in principle than in practice. That's why we need to practice it.
I had a situation not too long ago that I just couldn't quit thinking about all the wrong I believed was real, and because writing and words are how I process things, I finally wrote it all out in a confidential, very well worded paper. I shared that paper with my son who is currently studying at seminary, and he read it and texted me that it would be stronger if I leaned into the scripture to address the wrongs and my hurt, otherwise it could be perceived as personal grievances. I read that text right before going into church yesterday, and that young man is wise beyond his years. During the last song before the pastor came up to bring his sermon, I fell apart in tears, realizing I had to let go of all my personal grievance and do what God has called me as His child to do, and that is to love. But, that person just doesn't look much like Jesus, it's hard, I really have been wronged, what they continue to do really is wrong! But I'm not called to love people only when they look like Jesus. Who would be left, if so? And, what brought me to tears there in the pew was, I realized my anger and brewing bitterness and lack of love didn't look at all like Jesus, either. So I metaphorically laid that paper out before the Lord like Hezekiah with his letter from the Assyrians and said all that is merely personal grievance I must leave at the feet of Jesus. He can handle it. He is my defender. I do not have to make my case, He's got it. He was kind to Judas, knowing what was about to happen, He knows, more than anyone else, what it feels like for people to say unfair, unjust, unkind things about Him. What He suffered for me in making the way for me to be made a precious child of God was way more than any grievance I may face here. Puts that in perspective.
I've been reading a book about the fruit of the spirit in the life of Jesus, all about His character, and I've been praying that He would chip away at the things in me that don't look like Jesus. The first time I prayed that I stopped and thought, that's a hard thing to pray. It's going to hurt. Pruning the rebel out of me hurts. And the Holy Spirit graciously showed me a little bit of His pruning yesterday. And in the pruning I had such an overwhelming sense of freedom. I can rest, I can wait on the Lord and just see what He's going to do in this situation. I can rest in my Savior.
Later in the day yesterday, a friend told me about this song and oh, wow, what a song. This is who I am. Not what anyone else who doesn't really know me says about me or lies about me. This is who I am.
"Completely known, completely loved I'm covered by my Savior's blood I'm robed in white, and God is pleased To see His Son when He looks on me."
By God's grace, this is who I already am. Not who I will be when I try harder, do better. When He looks on me, He sees Jesus. And Jesus is so beautiful, I want to lean in to this truth and live in such a way that I find freedom when He chips away everything in me that isn't like Him. I want to live in such a way that His beauty is far more valuable to me than holding on to a personal grievance. Yes and amen.
Social media has its downsides,
and they are many, but it also has some pretty cool upsides.One of my favorite things about social media happened
yesterday, as Christians all over my newsfeeds shared the traditional Easter
greeting with each other. One would post, “He is risen!” Then many would
respond, “He is risen indeed!”All day,
all over social media this was repeating, and it is glorious. That declaration expresses
our shared hope, joining myriad Christian brothers and sisters together in precious
communion and shared faith that has continued and been passed down across the
centuries, it joins us with the great cloud of witnesses who have gone before and
will join us with the generations of believers to come.This
is our hope.Christ is risen! He is risen
indeed!
One of my very favorite things
about Easter is joining with my fellow believers, my church family, my brothers
and sisters in the faith, as we sing with joy about the foundation of our faith
and rejoice in the Resurrection, which, honestly is what EVERY Sunday is celebrating,
but in a very focused way on Easter Sunday. Yesterday was no exception.Singing songs that affirm our faith, praying
in expectant hope and faith, listening and responding to the Word faithfully
preached, Sundays are vitally necessary refreshment, and yesterday is still
singing in my heart.
But I do have one, very gentle
thought I can’t help pondering today. I was raised in a Southern Baptist
Church, so I’m no stranger to it. We have not been members of an SBC church in
a long time, though, having joined other solid, Bible churches the past many
years, and, truth be told, I didn’t really ever expect to be a member of an SBC
church again. Lesson learned, never say never, and we found the right church
for us here where we live now is a precious Baptist church and we love our
family here, and are grateful to be members of this little church, thankful for
the rich community and faithful teaching and weekly refreshment we find here. However,
yesterday something happened that sort of reminded me how weird we Baptists
are.The worship leader welcomed the
congregation yesterday morning by declaring, “He is risen!” To which I and a
few others I’m guessing, though I didn’t hear them, said, “He is risen indeed!”
Mostly what I heard was a bunch of jumbled, “Amens,” and, “Yes,” and even a “Hallelujah,”
or two, all of which are definitely appropriate responses and heartfelt
emotions, but a part of me found it jarring that the congregation didn’t seem
to know the traditional response, the response that millions of Christians were
responding all over the world yesterday. I love my Baptist people. We love
Jesus, truly, deeply, we love His word and teach it well. But having been a
part of different biblical Christian traditions recently, I can’t help but feel
like we are poorer and we miss something by being so fiercely autonomous that many
of us are basically ignorant of ancient traditions and we seem to have an
almost allergic disdain for knowing anything about the rich beauty of the creeds,
which were a product of, sometimes quite literally, the blood, sweat, and tears
of earlier generations of believers to carefully set out and guard the right
understanding of the biblical doctrines of the faith.
Part of the wonder of
Christianity is that we are the Body of Christ. When we read that wonderful
passage in Hebrews about the great cloud of witnesses who surround us, it’s a
reminder that we are joined with the great invisible church, the saints who
have loved Christ through the ages, those who have gone before us and passed the faith down to us and from whom we can learn so much, those faith filled brothers and sisters around
the world today, and those who will follow behind us in future generations until Jesus returns, the saints
from all ages with whom we will join around the throne with our gaze fixed on Christ,
our voices joining with the multitudes from every language, tribe, and tongue
in singing, “Worthy is the Lamb!” for eternity. We really need to be careful
not to be so autonomous in our church vision that we forget that the Body of
Christ is bigger than just our local church, we are part of something awesome
that spans the ages and the nations. Christ is building His Church, and we get
to be part of it, our little local congregation is a part of the multitude of living stones
that Jesus is raising up, and we do well to remember and appreciate all who
have gone before us, to appreciate the rich heritage we have in the faith, open
up our eyes and learn from those who have gone before us, appreciate what they
have contributed to the rich heritage of faith, and turn our eyes to our Savior in wonder,
love, and praise.
He is risen! He is risen indeed!
“Therefore,
since we are surrounded, by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay
aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with
endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus,the founder and perfecter of our faith, who
for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and
is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:1-2
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
After opening with singing Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee and prayer, we got to sing this song today in church. What a wonderful way open worship on this first Sunday of a new year! We were introduced to CityAlight at our last church and we have loved adding their songs into our repertoire of the newer hymns that are being written in recent years. I’m thankful for the wealth of newer hymns that are rich in biblical language that we can add to our library of psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs we can sing with thankfulness in our hearts to God.
I recently went through a bout of the blues where I felt low and couldn’t really explain it. 2021 was a year with a lot of challenges and griefs one on top of another that felt overwhelming at times. I have found that when that kind of pressure starts building and I may have trouble focusing on reading my Bible deeply and well in some of those moments, one of the best comforts I’ve found is to put good music with Christ-exalting lyrics and thoughts on repeat and fill my heart and mind with them. I am extremely thankful for the gift of music. Often these rich spiritual songs minister to my soul in a deep and resonant way. I am thankful that God is bringing new hymn writers to us, people like Keith and Kristyn Getty, Stuart Townend, Matt Papa, Andrew Peterson, CityAlight, Sovereign Grace and many others who are writing music we can sing, even when our hearts are broken, which take us out of ourselves and to the very throne of God, bringing light to adorn the darkness and lifting the sprit in times of trouble.
Today was a good day to start this new year, also, because we were finally able to formally join our new church. We have known for a while now that this church is to be our new home and church family, but life circumstances kept happening that hindered us from going forward. Today we finally got to make it public that we want Northwest Hills Baptist Church to be our new church family here. We are excited to join in the life and work of this little body of believers and we are thankful for the deep and solid teaching, gospel and grace-centered encouragement, and rich friendships we are already developing here.
Sometimes I find myself struggling to focus my thoughts and settle down enough to really pray. Often in our Wednesday small group Bible study we will end the study by singing a hymn together, so today I thought, why not try singing to get my heart tuned to pray this morning?
Recently our church produced a hymnal just for our congregation, full of old and new hymns that our congregation use for worship. It's divided into four sections: Call to Worship, Confession, Christ, and Gospel Response. This morning I took one from each section and sang through them and between that and my morning Bible reading I found it a refreshing way to spur me on to pray richly.
I was struck this morning by how many of our hymns point us toward the fact that death has lost its victory and sting, how many of them talk about how life will not end our song, we will get to sing for eternity, singing forevermore. That, my friends, was a beautiful thought, especially as I'm missing my mother but finding joy in thinking about the fact that she's getting to hear the music of Heaven now.
There is something deeply powerful about music, don't you think? It moves us on a level much deeper than merely our intellect, but down in the depths of us. When coupled with beautiful words that point us toward Christ and are full of biblical truth, there is something truly mysterious and wonderful about music.
When I think about beauty, I am mindful of just how beautiful our God is. He could have given us a world that was merely functional, but he didn't stop at that. He made a world that is gloriously beautiful, full of light, and brilliance, and color, and music, that help us to contemplate the immense greatness of the God who would create such beauty. And all the beauty we behold is shadow, seen through a glass dimly for now. Imagine the beauty of the new heaven and new earth and the music that will be there. I don't think we can even comprehend it….yet.
So, today I'm thankful for rich hymns. Even sung alone, a cappella, they drew my attention to my Savior and helped me to pray, at a time when I'm feeling so mentally scattered. What a gift music is, and what a gift godly hymn writers have been to the Church through the ages. God is abundantly good to His people.
I just finished reading The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul. This is not the first time I’ve read it, but it is one I find it is beneficial to revisit every so often, and it’s a book I highly recommend. As he says in the book, “People in awe never complain that church is boring.” Neither will they find taking time to think deeply about God’s holiness boring.
I am not going to write a full review, but I did have some thoughts I wanted to share that I pondered as I was reading the last chapter today, which is titled, “Holy Space and Holy Time.” First, some quotes from that last chapter:
“The consecration of sacred space does not end with the close of the Old Testament. It is rooted and grounded in the act of creation itself, and something profoundly important to the human spirit is lost when it is neglected.”
“Each Sabbath day, believers observe sacred time in the context of worship. It is the keeping holy of the Sabbath day that marks the regular sacred time for the Christian. The worship service is a marking of a special liturgical time.”
“In sacred space and sacred time Christians find the presence of the holy. The bars that seek to shut out the transcendent are shattered, and the present time becomes defined by the intrusion of the holy. When we erect barriers to these intrusions, dikes to keep them from flooding our souls, we exchange the holy for the profane and rob both God of His glory and ourselves of His grace.”
Here’s what I got to thinking about. During the time when our church could not meet because of the COVID restrictions, we were blessed to be able to have the option to stream the service online. I am so thankful for the technology that allowed us to do this and for the care of our pastors, elders, and teachers who did their best to stay connected with the church family during that time. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best we could do at the time. I understand the necessity for that time, and I completely understand the necessity for those who are at greater risk to continue to use that option now that we are able to cautiously and in a socially distanced way begin to meet together again physically. So, please don’t take what I’m about to say wrongly. Also, PLEASE do not come at me with the argument, “the church is not the building.” Seriously, that is NOT what I’m about to say, so don’t hear that, and don’t come at me with it. I got SO, SO tired of reading that on social media. It MISSES THE POINT of what those of us who were sad about not meeting together were trying to express.
During the time when we only had the online version of worship services, our family did our best to make that time special. We got up on time, got dressed, and set that time aside to watch and engage as best we could with the service on screen. But there was just something missing. It is just not the same. I couldn’t adequately describe what made it so very different, exactly, but this last chapter of The Holiness of God and the discussion of sacred space spoke to me deeply in light of what we’ve just gone through. That is what is missing. There is something profound and indescribably powerful about physically meeting together with the church that is deeper than merely keeping the elements of the service but watching on a disembodied screen. No, the church is not the building, it’s not that the bricks and mortar of the building itself are inherently sacred, but it is what we do when we gather there that makes it sacred space. And of course, even worshipping by screen when that’s the only option we have can be sacred, too, but the church is the people - specifically the people gathered together. And yes, when we neglect that setting aside of sacred time to worship together, there IS something profoundly important to the human spirit that is lost. Though I understand and support why we had to forego the gathering for a time, we DID miss something profound. The first Sunday we got to go back, even with masks and social distancing and much fewer people in the building, it was like a breath of fresh air and that profound something that we have when we gather together in that set apart, sacred time and space was rich. The holy just felt nearer.
No matter how much we tried to make the online Sundays sacred, the profane was somehow just still so near. The distractions were many, and it was just not the same.
There is something deep and profound that we gain when we are able to gather together and sense the energy of our church family all worshipping Jesus together. There is something deeply sacred that points us to our holy God in a way that we lose when we are denied the opportunity to set aside time and space for the sacred. We are embodied people and we experience this life with our physical bodies. There is just something other about setting aside time and space to focus our attention together on the Holy and sacred. We are bombarded all week with the temporal and profane, we need that set apart space and time to put away those distractions and be reminded physically and through our senses with singing and praying and hearing the Word preached to focus our attention on our Savior.
I’m not at all sure I adequately expressed what I’m pondering in this post. Boiled down, I am reminded to think carefully and prepare myself before I go to worship and remember that we are on holy ground because we are gathering to worship a holy God. I am greatly looking forward to getting to meet with my church family tomorrow morning, even if we have to wear masks and sit apart to make it happen. How thankful I am for the grace of God that sustained us during the months we had to be apart, and how very thankful I am now that we can meet together again.
Every once in a while I’m reminded how mysteriously powerful music can be. Whether it’s hearing an instrumental piece of music that gives you chills and makes you just want to sit and submerse yourself in the music to enjoy a glorious music moment, or maybe it is a song that comes on and immediately transports you to another time in your life, complete with all the emotions and senses that go with those memories, music has a deep and rich power that is hard to describe.I think God gave us a wonderful gift in music, and I think music must be special to Him, too. Think about it, the entire book of Psalms is a song book. There is music and singing throughout the Bible. There is even music and singing in Heaven, can you imagine how glorious it must be? (Revelation 5:9-10, for example)
Yesterday I found myself alone in my car, for one very rare instance these days, and I had my playlist going. A song came on that brought me right back to the early ’80’s and a flood of emotions filled my car - the awkwardness of junior high, the expectation and hope of youth, the joys of driving to the beach with friends, the painfulness of feeling lonely and awkward and ignored, the joys of cherished friendships, and all kinds of other wordless emotions all wrapped up in a Chicago song. Followed by other songs, all with their own beautiful, jumbled, complex mix of memories and emotions.
Then this morning, I was listening to another playlist and several songs in a row came on that brought back vividly that year in Ohio, especially the ray of light our membership at Parkside Church was in that otherwise dark and lonely year. Again, a flood of complex and varied memories and emotions filled me. Parkside introduced us to so much really good congregational worship music, and modeled for us such beautiful and rich prayers, and so much of my memory of that time is wrapped up in memories of the beautiful, scripture-saturated, corporate prayers we prayed from sources like The Valley of Vision, among others, and worship music that was rich and deep. One of my most profound memories comes from an evening service during that cold Ohio winter.Our pastor had just preached a sermon on our hope in Christ, and the closing hymn was It is Well With My Soul. There is something deeply moving and encouraging about standing in a room of people who deeply and truly believe with all their heart what they are singing, and sensing the genuine hope and longing mingled up in the heartfelt voices being raised together to worship our Savior. I hope I never forget how profound that is, though words cannot adequately describe it.
That year we lived in Shaker Heights was a difficult one for our whole family.I don’t think I’ve ever been as lonely or depressed as I was by the end of that winter. I was talking a while back with one of my sons about that year and he told me some things about how lonely that year in middle school was for him. I cried. I had known it was hard on the kids, but I had not known that he ate by himself almost every day at lunch that year. My older two children both told me they never really fit in with the kids at their schools that year. It broke my heart all over again to hear that they were as lonely as I was there. And the winter. Oh, the bitter, bitter cold of that winter. These, sadly, are some of the complex memories and emotions that music also dredges up.
This, too, is why it is important to expose ourselves to good music. Though we did not live there long enough for it to come even close to ever feeling like home or to really get to know anyone well at all, though we did meet wonderfully kind and caring brothers and sisters in Christ I wish we had had the time to get to know better, had we not had the light of that church, it would have been much darker that year. This morning several songs came on that, to this day, lift my soul and remind me that there is so much more to life than what my circumstances scream at me. It is songs that are rich and doctrinal that will stand the test of time, and they bring a deep comfort to me even today because of the deep comfort they brought me in one of the most difficult years we’ve had. Songs that point me beyond my selfish depression to my glorious Jesus, who has never left me and never forsaken me. For all the darkness and loneliness, God used that time (as He has used many other times) to grow us close as a family, to introduce me to the treasure that is The Valley of Vision, to allow us to sit under truly excellent teaching and preaching, togrow me in learning how to pray deeper and to sing better and to draw me nearer to Him.I wouldn’t trade it. And, talking with my boys in the years since, they, too have grown and learned, and in time, the next years in Texas allowed us to develop friendships and a loving church family that mended much of the loneliness we left behind. God is so kind.
I’m thankful for God’s good gift of music - all kinds of music, and the way it has a language of its own that often goes deeper than mere words. That’s why band kids can tell you that each year there’s always at least one piece among all the others that they all agree that all of them just LOVE to play. Music stirs us in a way little else can.But, even more glorious, when beautiful music is combined with rich and Christ-exalting words, it can drive rich truth deep into our very soul in a way that words alone may not.Can you even imagine, if music here is so mysteriously powerful, what the music of Heaven will be like?
“The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream has ended: this is the morning.”
- Aslan in The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis
My daughter and I have used this stay at home time to read C.S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia together. These books have been like treasured friends since I was young, some of my very favorite and well-loved books which I’ve read more times than I can remember. I greatly enjoyed experiencing them with my 13-year-old daughter these past couple of months, and we cried together as we finished The Last Battle yesterday. She said it’s so sad when you end a good series like this because it’s like saying good-bye to friends. I agree.
I do have some issues with C.S. Lewis and some of his theology, and we discussed some of it when it was necessary while reading the books, but one thing he does very, very well is to depict what it is like to have a deep reverence and longing for Christ and for Heaven through his story-telling. The beauty of the stories, how he shows you can have great joy in the beauty of this life, but yet still have a deep longing for something greater than what we merely taste and glimpse as a shadow in this life has always been what I love about the Narnia stories, but this time especially, it just hit me so strongly. I’m careful not to take the works of fiction that the Narnia books are and make them something they shouldn’t be, but I am thankful for the encouragement they give me to think deeper about the truth of Heaven and the brilliance and beauty of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. These books aren’t meant to be an allegory, but looking beyond the stories, they do help me to look at Jesus in a more devotional way, to long to love Him and long for His return and long for the day when all tears and sickness and all of the ‘all things’ that are working together for good for those who are called according to His purpose and who love Him will be fulfilled and the dream will have ended and the morning will have come.
I’ve mentioned before how we’ve just finished our Bible study in Romans, and this morning as I was preparing for our online worship service with our church, I was going over the verses I’m memorizing, Romans 8:37-39, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This morning that just set so very solidly in my heart as I pondered these words.What joy. What hope. What peace.
And then, y’all, church this morning was wonderful.With just having finished that book yesterday and still feeling that longing for Christ and for Heaven that is so beautifully illustrated in it, I could not sing the songs today without tears. The songs we sang were glorious and so Jesus-focused. The energy of the singing, the urgency of the pastoral prayer, the encouragement of the sermon, were such a blessing today, and while it caused me to greatly miss being with my church family even more, it energized me to worship as I sat in my living room with my family.Once again I’m reminded that Sundays are a celebration, but also a time to stir up our longing for the day when we will see Jesus face to face. I’m so thankful for Sundays. I need this time to recharge and to reflect and to be encouraged to remember the truth and be pointed toward Jesus. I’ve been struggling recently with some depression, and all of these things, the Narnia books, our study in Romans, the faithfulness of our pastors and elders to lead us well in this challenging time when we cannot be together physically, have helped me lift my eyes and fix them on Jesus.I cannot adequately put into words how much lighter I feel today than I have in a long time, and how I long to love Jesus more and live with a heart that is undivided and wholly serving Him. This is the joy of eternal life - joy and peace in this life, knowing Jesus, knowing that nothing - no circumstances that surround us, no depression that messes with our mind and emotions, can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord, and knowing His peace and joy in the longing for that day when we will see Him face to face. And ultimately there is the joy of knowing that one day, in His time and good Providence, the dream will end and the true morning will come.
I woke up the other day feeling anxious and depressed, more than I think I ever have before. I could write all the thoughts I felt crushing me that have been feeding that, many that are serious enough things to be concerned about, but somehow I had let these things become out of perspective in my thinking. Many of these things are important and need to be discussed and hashed out in our society, but most of them are not my responsibility. I started to write about the things I’m concerned and frustrated and depressed about several times, but each time I felt a check in my spirit, and I decided to keep the details to my private journal and private prayer closet. Except for this one: I miss church. I just do. I miss the refreshing of the soul we get when we see each other singing and see each other responding to the Word being preached. Virtual services are nice, since we can’t have the embodied meeting together, but in no way is it enough.
So, with that background, the blues that hit hard the other day and which I’m battling to keep in proper perspective, today, during my morning prayer time I read this in one of the prayers from The Valley of Vision and it spoke right to my heart:
“Remember, O my soul,
It is thy duty and privilege to rejoice in God:
He requires it of thee for all his favors of grace.
Rejoice then in the Giver and his goodness,
Be happy in him, O my heart, and in nothing but God,
for whatever a man trusts in,
from that he expects happiness.”
As I read and prayed through that, when I got to those words, “for whatever a man trusts in, from that he expects happiness,” I stopped and realized that the frustration and depression I am feeling in response to all these things I’m not discussing in detail are, in fact, a gift of grace, because that anxiety and depression are pin-pointing areas I have been sinfully placing my trust and hope for happiness in, without even realizing it.
We are working on our last lesson from the book of Romans in our women’s Bible study this week, and after months of focusing mostly on Romans 8, this gentle reminder to check the idols in my heart and keep my focus and trust and hope grounded on nothing but God Himself is landing on prepared soil in my heart, where I’ve been meditating and pondering just what it means that God works ALL THINGS for the good of the people who love Him and are called according to His purpose. All things means allthings, even this season of not being able to meet together as a church family, and even those things I woke up anxious and depressed about. So, while the tears are real, and the concerns are real, so, too, and more so, is the genuine, deep, underlying, soul uplifting hope real. I don’t have to be crushed by anxiety and depression. I may not be able to control all the physical responses or stop the tears immediately, but I can fix my eyes, even when tear-filled, on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith and purpose in my heart to present my body as a living sacrifice and renew my mind by the washing of His word and choose joy, because He is the sustainer of our joy.
A few other practical things I’m doing to reorient my thinking and keep things in perspective:
-I’m taking a mental health break away from Facebook and Next-door. I don’t need one more preachy article about how anxious the secular world thinks we need to be right now and I’m tired of the memes and lectures
-Focusing more purposefully on the scripture passages I’m trying to memorize
-Taking time to pray whenever I feel the anxiety or depression rear up
-Talking through these things with my husband, who often has a great way of helping me see things in proper perspective
-Staying in God’s word and remembering that He is sovereign and His Providence is good all the time
-Listening to good podcasts (Truth for Life with Alistair Begg, Wretched Radio with Todd Friel, Just Thinking with Virgil Walker and Darrell Harrison)
-Making sure to take some time often to listen to doctrinally rich music
Because whatever a man trusts in, from that he expects happiness.
Psalm 33:18-22
“Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him,
I have some thoughts I’m working through during this “safer at home” or “stay at home order” time we find ourselves in.
Mainly what I’m thinking about today is how tired I am of people trying to cheer us up about not being able to meet together as a church with words like, “The church is not the building, it’s the people.” “The church isn’t empty, it’s been deployed.” “We are the church.”
True. All of it. Church is truly not that building on the corner where we gather. The church is truly the people who love Jesus and belong to Him, and we are to be actively following Him as we go about our lives out in the world. We rejoice because the grave is empty, HALLELUJAH! Yes and amen.
But what is bothering me is that it feels a little like people are rebuking me for not thinking it is enough to settle for virtual fellowship. It is right to grieve not being able to be the church gathered anymore during this time. I am not wrong to grieve what we lose when we cannot be physically with the people who are the church. I miss my church family. While I am immensely thankful for the technology that allows my little Bible study group to meet via video conference, it is NOT the same as being with them in the same room. And while I am also immensely thankful for the technology that allows our music directors and pastors and elders to live stream a version of the Sunday morning service each week, and thankful for how beautifully they are doing it because it is better than not being able to meet at all, it still is just not the same as being together in the same location lifting our voices and prayers together in the same place.
We are embodied people, created for fellowship. We need this. Look at all the “one another” commands in the Bible and all the encouragement to not neglect the meeting together to stir one another up to love and good works. We do the best we can under the circumstances we find ourselves in - yes, even from love of one another in this time of global pandemic - and stay away physically for a time. But it is not the same. And it is right to grieve this. It is right to miss being the gathered church. And, yes, we can and do worship Jesus from our living room, separated from others. Indeed, He hears our prayers and He is with us. But still, something in us longs to see our brothers and sisters in person and join together to lift our praises to Him and encourage and stir each other up in praising Him. It is right to long for this.
There is something intangible, almost indescribable about the energy that comes from standing in a room with other people who really truly love Jesus and believe what they are singing and praying with all their hearts that lifts all of us closer to the throne when we jointly worship our King. I miss that. And it is right to miss it.
The day that we lose that hunger to fellowship as the gathered church, the day we no longer grieve that loss, is the day lose something beautiful and we begin to drift from a real understanding of what it means that we are the church.
Another thing this has brought home to me in a way I’ve never been able to appreciate before is that we have brothers and sisters in areas of the world where not being able to gather with other believers is the norm because of persecution and other hardships. This temporary time of separation from our local church families ought to give us a heart and burden to pray for our persecuted brethren around the world in a way we never have before.
So, for now, we settle for virtual fellowship, because for now we must. But let us never think it is enough. And maybe even let’s stop being so quick to shut down that grief over it not being the same and not being enough when someone expresses it. It’s ok to grieve. We are the church, yes. And we miss each other. Also true.
And here is another thought I had about all this: Can you just imagine how when the restrictions are finally able to be lifted and we are free to meet together with our local church family again, what a celebration that’s going to be? Can you just anticipate the joy in our singing, the urgency in our praying and the joy our pastors will have to be able to speak face-to-face with the people again instead of preaching in an empty room before a camera? Don’t you think it’s going to be just a pale glimpse of what Heaven will be like? And doesn’t this just make you long for that day? And in that way, even on the best days when we are able to be together here on earth, won’t it fuel even more our longing for the ultimate gathering of the saints when Jesus comes again?
Just think what it’s going to be one day when this vapor of a life is over, and all the saints are gathered together and we finally get to see Jesus face to face. We will finally know Him as we are known, the veil fully gone and we will worship more deeply and more fully than we’ve ever been able to before. We will forever sing the Hallelujah to our Savior, the risen Lord Jesus who has loved us and forgiven us and saved us and made us His forever.
Yes, this Easter will be a different sort of Easter. But the grave is empty. Jesus is risen. He is risen indeed! Let our worship be sweeter for the longing. Our joy is real, and deep, and nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Nothing can separate us! There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Let this time of separation be a time to draw near to Jesus. Once again, the song, “Is He Worthy” spoke to my heart today. The words, “Do you know that all the dark won’t stop the light from getting through,” gripped me. Even the dark of coronavirus and the fear and anxiety of the people around us will not stop the light of Christ from getting through. Even the dark of our isolation will not stop the light from getting through. Draw near, love Him more, and let it fuel our longing to be together again with those who love Him. And when we are together again, let it be fuel for our greater longing for His return. Because Christ is our hope in life and in death.
Because we aren’t able to meet physically for choir practice and worship services during this time of social distancing, our music and worship director from our church sent a devotional video to us this week to keep in touch and encourage us. In it, he asked us to answer two questions in the comments on the Facebook post: 1.) What songs bring you joy in times of sorrow? and 2.) What songs draw you closest to God? I got to thinking that there are so very many songs that fit these roles in my life - too many to answer in a comment, and I decided to ponder it in a blog post. Even here, it’s impossible to list every song that speaks in these ways to me, but I’m going to share a few, and only a few, not even close to all of them, and some memories or comforts and why they're special to me.
I’ve mentioned before on this blog how much comfort I’ve gained from my old Baptist Hymnal. Since I was young, I remember pulling it out and going through it and finding myself drawn near to God through the melodies and words of so many of the hymns. They are rich with solid truths about God, and because they’ve been such a part of my life forever, they’re full of precious memories and emotions, too.
One hymn that has been an anchor hymn for me is, “There is a Fountain,” by William Cowper. I remember many, many, many nights rocking my crying babies and singing and crying with them as a new mom, and for some reason, this one came often to mind. I just love how much comfort I’ve always drawn from this song, all my guilty stains, all my sin, washed away by Jesus’ blood, and how it goes on to think of our blessed hope - saved to sin no more, redeeming love has been my theme and shall be til I die; when this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave, then in a nobler, sweeter song I'll sing thy power to save - glory! Sometimes this was the only song that would come fully to mind, and I sang it often in those early, exhausted, baby-blues nights. Sometime many years later we were singing this hymn at church and my oldest boy, who was in high school by then, told me he just loved that hymn. I told him that’s probably partly because he’s heard it many times since he was teeny tiny as I sang it to him often, often through my own tears.
There’s a song that New Song used to sing and every time I hear it, first I’m drawn to worship our “Forever King,” but it also makes me a little teary because I cannot hear it without hearing Simeon Nix, our former music pastor from our church when we lived in Florida, who I’m sure sang it at some point and who is in Heaven now. That makes me think about how one day all of our voices will get to join the great Hallelujah Chorus of Heaven when we see Jesus, and that draws me to worship my Savior.
A song that touched me deeply around the time that we experienced our miscarriages was, “Blessed Be Your Name,” by Matt Redman. I first heard it around that time as a congregational song at the church we were attending at that time, and I remember holding onto it as I wept with grief and held onto the peace of Christ that passes all understanding, even in the midst of grief.
There were four songs that I have played over and over from Casting Crowns which I love: "Lifesong," "Voice of Truth," "Praise You in This Storm," and "And Now My Lifesong Sings."
When we lived in Cleveland, we came to love the Gettys’ music, and I have to say pretty much anything they’ve written brings me comfort and draws me close to God. That year was such a very lonely year, but our church was the one truly bright spot for me, and it was there that we learned to love this music. A couple songs of theirs that I come back to again and again are some that I learned later while we lived in Texas, “Living Waters,” and “The Lord is My Salvation,” are two of my favorites.
Another memory I have from that lonely year in Cleveland was from an evening service when our pastor had just preached a sermon on Heaven and our hope in Christ. The closing hymn was, “It is Well With My Soul,” and I remember getting chills with tears coming down my cheeks. There is something holy about standing in a room full of people who love Jesus with abandon, and totally believe what they are singing, with thoughts of Christ and Heaven fresh on their minds. You could feel the people in that room reaching out to our Savior and loving Him and drawing near to Him in the simplicity of the acoustic instruments and the triumphant voices. That was a glimpse, and only a glimpse, of what our worship in Heaven will be like when we see Him and know Him face to face.
Another hymn that came to have special meaning to me is one that I think I’ve only ever heard but one time in church, but that one time was incredibly significant: “Nearer, Still Nearer.” We had just moved to Texas that summer, and it was about a week before school was to start. My oldest son had spent the last month attending band camp for his high school and had already made some close friends. One Sunday afternoon, the Sunday before classes were to start the next day, we got the message that something tragic had happened and there was a meeting that afternoon in the band room. Josh’s friend, one of the first people he had met after moving there, had lost his life suddenly and the whole band was left grieving. That was a hard, hard thing. The next Sunday, while singing hymns that were just incredibly uplifting, we sang, “In Christ Alone,” and then, “Nearer, Still Nearer.” I looked over at my son who suddenly sat down with his head in his hands, sobbing. Afterward, he said, “What was that hymn? It was so good.” That was another time God used music to comfort us in our sorrow.
In this time when so many around us are spiraling in anxiety, I found "Sovereign Over Us," to be comforting and it lifts our attention away from us to our merciful and all-powerful God.
As to songs that draw me close to God, again, there are just so very many. I love songs that remind me of the attributes and character of God, and of His love and overwhelming mercy to us. Just a few songs that always lift my attention to Jesus are, “Behold Our God,” “His Mercy is More,” “All I Have is Christ,” “In Christ Alone,” “I Can Only Imagine,” “Come Praise and Glorify,” "Is He Worthy?" and there are so very many more I could list.
Here are a few more of my favorite hymns (again, just a few) which have often brought comfort in sorrow and drawn me close to God:
“All Glory, Laud and Honor”
“All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name”
“All the Way My Savior Leads Me”
“Amazing Grace”
“Be Thou My Vision”
“Come, Ye Disconsolate”
“Crown Him With Many Crowns”
“Fairest Lord Jesus”
“Holy, Holy, Holy”
“How Firm a Foundation”
“I Know Whom I Have Believed”
“I Need Thee Every Hour”
“Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise”
“Jesus Paid it All”
“More Love to Thee, O Christ”
“My Hope is Built on Nothing Less”
“My Faith Has Found a Resting Place”
“Nearer, My God to Thee”
“O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus”
“Rock of Ages”
“Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us”
“Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus”
These are only the tip of the iceberg. As soon as I hit publish I’ll remember many more, old and new, that really should be mentioned here. I’m very thankful for music.
And in these days of social distancing and coronavirus concern, I've been enjoying very much singing the Doxology when I wash my hands to get that 20 seconds of cleanliness. What a unique way to turn my attention to my Creator and Savior. When the world is living in anxiety, we can have confidence in the one who is Sovereign over all things - even these days, and who is working all things, all things, together for good for those who love Him and for His glory. Glory.
God gave us such a gift when He gave us music. I’m thankful for old hymns, and I’m thankful that even though a lot of modern worship music can be shallow and won’t stand the test of time, God is still raising up good song writers who are writing modern hymns and songs that will stand the test of time and are rich with deep theological truths we can hang onto in dark and uncertain times - songs that help us find joy in sorrow and draw near to God. Look for those songs and sing them well.
