Friday, July 22, 2011

Friday Frazzles

Welcome to ‘Friday Frazzles,’ a collection of tangentially related and fairly random thoughts unworthy of a solid blog post, but plopped out here to keep the blog limping along as they wander through my brain.

I think I have decided that I like the idea of coffee more than coffee itself. This observation has spawned a rather lengthy and light-hearted discussion over on my Facebook page, but I wasn’t really looking for advice on how to like coffee better, merely stating what is at the moment in my rather mundane little world. I think I’ve decided, and which deep down I’ve actually known all along, that I just like tea better. Loose tea is best, but I can’t always find it around here.

In related news, I think I may need to wean myself off of caffeine again, since I would like to limit my exposure to aspartame and Splenda as well as the fat and sugar in my particular habit of coffee-drinking. I heard that aspartame can contribute to depressive thoughts - don’t need anymore of those hanging around, thankyouverymuch - and I have strong suspicion and anecdotal evidence that Splenda makes my feet hurt. Weird, I know. I can tell you the story if you wish.

Speaking of depressive thoughts, I’ve been having a few recently. I am having a really hard time with ‘back to school’ this year. My baby starts kindergarten and it will be the first time in almost 13 years I won’t have a baby or preschooler at home all day. This makes me sad. It makes me come to grips with how relentless time is and how short a time I have before the empty nest thing is for real. It makes me examine and ponder anew, “Am I teaching them well and consistently? Am I discipling them well and consistently? Am I pointing them to Jesus well and consistently?” In this, as in so many ways, I see how very, very much a debtor to grace I am, how vital the gospel is to all areas of life and how constantly I need to be preaching it to myself and my children. I am trusting God to draw them to Himself, and praying for that with tears often, and grateful for the professions of faith two have already made and the evidences that they are growing in grace, and praying for the youngest to be drawn to her Savior as well. It also makes me sad for my parents that we live so far away and wish I were doing a better job at writing letters and calling home more often.

Related to that, I’m having trouble not listening to the lie of our culture that of course I’ll be going to work outside the home now that the baby is starting kindergarten. Yes, that’s already been said to me in a not unjudgmental sort of lecture recently. And when I mentioned that, no, I’m still a stay-at-home mom - they still need me here, thanks, that didn’t go over real well.

Related to that, sort of, I’ve mentioned before that I’m trying to get back to writing again. More of the depressive thought-patterns I’m fighting are that as long as I’m thinking about writing, I can keep the dream alive. What happens when I sit down and really get busy and I find I have nothing to say? Writing is a terrifying endeavor. Have I mentioned it?

If you can stand it, one more depressive thought....I've decided too much time on the internet can be depressing. It's not smart to look up a favorite actor/actress if you don't want to be really depressed by the confusion most people live under with their worldview. We really do live in an age when evil is called good and good is called evil. It's depressing. Even more depressing is when 'Christians' display horrid theology and lack of discernment. I read a comment on Facebook today about how of course dogs have souls and free will...said to comfort a friend who may be losing a beloved pet, but still. Sigh. I love my dog, y'all. He's as much a part of the family as a pet can be. But he doesn't have free will or a soul. He's a dog. Nothing wrong with grieving the loss of a beloved pet, it's not even necessarily wrong to pray about our pets when they suffer and we grieve, but let's not get our theology out of whack over it, yes? I really need to turn off my computer....

It’s not all depressive, though. You should see all the tomatoes on my tomato plants. Now I’m just waiting for them to ripen. When, exactly, should that be happening? Anyone a gardner out there? I’m not, but we started small with tomatoes this year. Some of them seem to have been hanging around for a while and really seem to enjoy their greenness....

......Patience is not often a strength in which I can boast, see tomato discussion above.

Not related at all, but also not among the depressive thoughts, I’m enjoying reading on my Nook. I think, as I’ve read elsewhere, it’s definitely best suited for lighter, fictional reading, but I like it.

Speaking of reading, I finished book 9 in the series I’m reading with my boys. Took a break to read the book I mentioned here, and am extremely thankful I was encouraged to read it. Anyway, now I have to wait for oldest son to finish reading book 10 so I can finish and finally learn the answer to the mysteries, which he keeps assuring me we find out in the first few chapters of book 10, though I repeatedly ask him not to reveal spoilers, any spoilers, nothing at all, please. I knew I should have read first. I really do enjoy our reading adventures together.

Another series we like together is Harry Potter. Though we’ve read the Harry Potter books individually, we’re now reading through them out loud together in the evenings. It’s slow going when busyness happens, but we have so much fun. My husband said he loves hearing them laugh with me when we’re reading together. I like that, too.

Speaking of HP, I liked the last movie. As I said somewhere else, if you give up expecting the movies to get the story right in all details and just go for the mood and feeling of the books, the music and costuming and great casting make for an enjoyable movie. Except for Dumbledore. They don’t get him right, IMO. Definitely want to have read the book first. You miss too much without it.

Trying to get a handle on the depressive thoughts and banish them, I spent some time this morning writing out a suggested schedule for myself for each day of the week. I actually scheduled in time for exercise and writing. Two goals are now scheduled in, which for a person who thrives on having a ‘To Do’ list to check off hopefully will make it harder for me to leave them off. I am really hoping to be disciplined enough with those two goals to be able to come back here at some future point and announce that I have finally shed the last of the weight I keep saying I want to take off and that I have made progress in the writing area. That’s just a little scary writing it out here. Just a tad.

Speaking of scary, well, this isn’t scary, but it’s something....I may have mentioned it before, but I can't remember now and it's my blog, so if it's boring that won't be anything new, but.....I noticed the other day while standing next to my oldest son during church that I felt very short. He is almost as tall as I am now. That is a strange feeling indeed. And it makes me cry again if I ponder it too much. He also has that creaky voice boys his age get and peach fuzz on his upper lip. Wasn’t he just the cute little toddler talking about ‘go-go cars’ and ‘crucks’ like yesterday? And then I realized his brother isn’t all that far behind. He and I had to go on a shoe-buying errand a few days ago and his feet are now officially bigger than mine. And they eat enough to make our grocery bills seem to be ever expanding, as well. :-)

And you know what? In all of it, I’m thankful.

And with that, I say, “Happy Friday!”

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