"The Last Goodbye" came on my playlist this morning as I was dropping my daughter off at school, and it was kind of perfectly fitting somehow. I tend to have songs that fill out the background emotions of my life. Today is her last marching band competition, the last time she will ever march this show - or any show - in high school. Tomorrow is her last football game, and it is the Senior Game, so her dad and I get to escort her for the senior honor reception at half time.
Senior year is hard. It's a time of bittersweet endings, so many "last times," and for the senior it's sad, but also hopeful as they look forward to the exciting things to come. But those "last times" are so hard. Our director has this thing he always says to encourage them, "Last time, best time," and that's always bittersweet, but the truly last time is when it's hard to hold back the tears. Senior year is hard on the parents, too, especially having been through it twice before with our older boys. But this last child thing, oof. I'm struggling with it.
Band has been a big part of our lives for a really long time now, ever since our oldest son got to march with the high school band as an 8th grader in Kentucky, and then how excited he was when we moved to Texas and he got to march with the insanity of Texas marching band where truly the best marching bands in the country compete at the highest level. And now, with our youngest halfway through her senior year, finishing her last marching band season, it's coming to an end, and, y'all, I am not ok. She seemed excited this morning for today, but sad that it is the last. I am holding back tears as I type this. Band is fun for the students, but also great for the parents. I have met some very cool people along the way in the various schools' band programs we've been blessed to be part of through these past eleven years. My oldest son even met his (now) wife when they went to sister/rival high schools and their schools had a mixer event at a big national marching band contest. So, band has been a big part of our lives and I'm sad to see it coming to an end.
My daughter's band director invited her to participate in the full orchestra during concert season this year, so I'm really excited for her that while marching band may be ending this weekend, she still has lots of great music to look forward to this year. And of course, she is already looking forward to the exciting things the future holds for her. So, there is so much good to look forward to in the way of new beginnings, but goodbyes and endings are hard.
Parenting is so sweet. I have enjoyed being a mom with kids at home. And I will miss it incredibly. Every stage came with its own challenges, sure, but abundantly more so, so, so much joy and good things. I love these people I've gotten to watch grow to adulthood. What a blessing God gave my husband and me when He allowed us to be their parents. And, though I'm crying bittersweet tears right now, I am so excited to see how He continues to work in their lives into adulthood. So, I know I said I'm not ok, and right at this moment, I would be lying to say I'm not struggling with the sadness of "last things," but overall, yes, I am ok, and I am so extremely hopeful for the new beginnings on the horizon. God is so kind and so good, and I am grateful for these blessings.
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