Completely Known, Completely Loved

Have you ever had someone believe or say something about you that wasn't true, and they persist in it even when corrected by someone who knows you well and cares about you? Have you ever had someone in your life you found it hard to love, or even like very much? I think we've all had that at one time or another. 

I was recently talking to my wise friend who counseled me to live in the Psalms when this kind of thing happens. Psalm 34:22 says, "The LORD redeems the soul of His servants, and none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned." That's a good promise to camp out on when you feel wronged or alone. Because I'd much rather camp out on God's word and let my feelings take a back seat. But sometimes that's easier in principle than in practice. That's why we need to practice it.

I had a situation not too long ago that I just couldn't quit thinking about all the wrong I believed was real, and because writing and words are how I process things, I finally wrote it all out in a confidential, very well worded paper. I shared that paper with my son who is currently studying at seminary, and he read it and texted me that it would be stronger if I leaned into the scripture to address the wrongs and my hurt, otherwise it could be perceived as personal grievances. I read that text right before going into church yesterday, and that young man is wise beyond his years. During the last song before the pastor came up to bring his sermon, I fell apart in tears, realizing I had to let go of all my personal grievance and do what God has called me as His child to do, and that is to love. But, that person just doesn't look much like Jesus, it's hard, I really have been wronged, what they continue to do really is wrong! But I'm not called to love people only when they look like Jesus. Who would be left, if so? And, what brought me to tears there in the pew was, I realized my anger and brewing bitterness and lack of love didn't look at all like Jesus, either. So I metaphorically laid that paper out before the Lord like Hezekiah with his letter from the Assyrians and said all that is merely personal grievance I must leave at the feet of Jesus. He can handle it. He is my defender. I do not have to make my case, He's got it. He was kind to Judas, knowing what was about to happen, He knows, more than anyone else, what it feels like for people to say unfair, unjust, unkind things about Him. What He suffered for me in making the way for me to be made a precious child of God was way more than any grievance I may face here. Puts that in perspective.

 I've been reading a book about the fruit of the spirit in the life of Jesus, all about His character, and I've been praying that He would chip away at the things in me that don't look like Jesus. The first time I prayed that I stopped and thought, that's a hard thing to pray. It's going to hurt. Pruning the rebel out of me hurts. And the Holy Spirit graciously showed me a little bit of His pruning yesterday. And in the pruning I had such an overwhelming sense of freedom. I can rest, I can wait on the Lord and just see what He's going to do in this situation. I can rest in my Savior. 

Later in the day yesterday, a friend told me about this song and oh, wow, what a song. This is who I am. Not what anyone else who doesn't really know me says about me or lies about me. This is who I am. 

"Completely known, completely loved
I'm covered by my Savior's blood
I'm robed in white, and God is pleased
To see His Son when He looks on me."

By God's grace, this is who I already am. Not who I will be when I try harder, do better. When He looks on me, He sees Jesus. And Jesus is so beautiful, I want to lean in to this truth and live in such a way that I find freedom when He chips away everything in me that isn't like Him. I want to live in such a way that His beauty is far more valuable to me than holding on to a personal grievance. Yes and amen.