Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Status Report of Sorts

Drinking coffee....with hazelnut creamer and Splenda. It’s the first cup of the afternoon. I foresee a second in the near future.

I had set the coffee on to perk as a motivator for me to finish the chore I was not wanting to do.

Chore is done now, coffee is being enjoyed. While enjoying, I am working mightily to tune out the umpteenth whining fit being pitched by my stubborn little three-year-old. Can I just say I’m feeling a little weary in the temper tantrum trenches these days? It’s not like we EVER give her what she wants when she screams and whines. You’d think she’d figure out a better way....but did I mention she’s stubborn? Good thing I am too, because this little girl is needing to learn that she can’t scream and manipulate her way through life. She’s choosing the hard way to learning it this week. There have been consequences for her behavior. She has not liked them. I’m hoping she will come to not like them so much she will learn to quit with the temper tantrums already. Responsible parenting is hard. It would be so much easier at the moment to just give in and have some peace, but oh, what a whirlwind that would reap down the road. I’d rather the difficulty now than to have to reap the consequences of irresponsible parenting when she’s older.

People keep telling me her strong-willed streak is something for which I’ll be thankful when she’s older. I pray often for wisdom and mercy to parent her well. I pray that for each of the kids.

But I digress from my original reason for sitting down to write a blog post.

The dreaded chore I just finished was to go through Boo’s clothes and take out the 3T’s she has outgrown and pack them away for give-away. I can see we will need to go shopping before spring gets here....we’re a little low in the warmer weather clothes department.

I am having a really hard time packing away Boo’s clothes. Actually, it isn’t the packing them away that is hard. It’s the giving them away that is hard. To be able to take that bag of clothes out to my car and actually get rid of them is to finally admit that Boo is, in all likelihood and unless God overrules that thought, our last baby. And she is quickly becoming not so much of a baby anymore. Intellectually I am okay with this. Emotionally I thought I was until I was sitting in the locker room at the Y this morning and thinking about things and started to cry. Well, for the most part emotionally I’m okay with this. I’m doing a lot better than I did after previous miscarriages, thanks be to our gracious God.

But to actually give away those clothes is to finally admit that the baby season of my life is probably over.

So, there’s that bag sitting there in the hallway that I’m not sure I’m quite ready to take away yet. It can wait a little bit, I guess.

And then there’s the temper tantrum trenches. Maybe I’m nearing the end of that season, too.

Being a mom is hard. It’s good, but it’s hard sometimes.


Pam said...

You made me cry because it does seem they are growing up way to fast and we are on to the next phase of life in less than 2 years. YIKES.

Heather said...

My "baby" turned five a week ago, and we have known since his conception that he would be our last. Still, I get wistful at times....

I can tell you that, despite all of the growing pains, that I (I don't want to say this too loudly) really DO enjoy my kids as they head into their teens.

Praying you over this bump in the very, very, big and long road.

Cupcake Mama said...

I know a family or two who became parents again (through adoption) when their natural born children were in high never know what God has in store for your family! Not that I would advocate for holding onto those clothes until then though! love you my friend, and looking forward to being with you Fri AM.

Laura said...

I still have boxes of baby boy clothes in Parker's closet in hopes that God might change my hubbby's heart about adopting again. I wonder how long they'll sit there... Letting go in such a tangible way is hard!

Lisa writes... said...

It is hard, no two ways about it. Transition only makes it harder. Transition that you didn't necessarily choose yourself even harder. Grieve a little, friend, because moving those clothes out of her closet represents a change for you both. But God is good and He will strengthen and sustain, even (and especially) as you parent that strong willed girl of yours!

Love you, girl!