Friday, December 07, 2012

Fair Warning:

The following post is purely a rant, and if you don’t want to hear my strong opinion, walk away now. 

Fair warning: 

I'm done. 

We don't Santa during our Christmas celebrations at our house. We never have. It's just not part of our traditions and celebration, for reasons that are thought out and considered and on purpose. 

In the past, because of an incident I wrote about here, I've bent over backwards trying to prepare my youngest and help her know what to say or not say around her friends who believe in Santa so as to not be obnoxious to them. But, as of right now today, I'm done with it. With sadness and regret I realize today that in my misguided attempt at practicing being a ‘good neighbor’ with all my being so careful to prepare my daughter and help her know what to say, I found out today all I've done is totally confuse her. 

And, no offense to anyone meant, but that matters more to me than shattering someone’s belief in a lie. I am fighting tears at the moment for being so foolish as to make a bigger issue of this with my daughter than it EVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN. By making it an issue, I’ve blown it up into a big deal, when that is the exact opposite of what I meant to be doing. Lesson learned.

Today I told her she can and should talk about Santa however she wants to, I don't really care if people get mad at us anymore. She shouldn't have to lie when her friends start talking about their Christmas celebrations, and I found out today that she felt like that's what I'd been telling her to do. It wasn't, but she's now extremely confused. I’m done confusing her. Her friends can talk about their Elf on the Shelf and their Santa all they want, she should be able to talk about her Christmas traditions without a muzzle, too. So, I told her, no lying. Don’t argue with people, don't intentionally bring up Santa's truth or not truth, but just be honest about how you celebrate Christmas.

Now for the true confession:

I really don’t like Santa the way we do it in America, and I HATE the movie, "The Polar Express." Shocker there, I’m sure. If that makes me a Grinch, so be it. Bah Humbug and all that. I think it’s wrong to lie to our kids. For all the griping about “Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas” and “Holiday Trees” and whatnot, you know what I think? I don’t give one little rip whether someone says, “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas” to me in the store or out around town - both end up feeling really forced anyhow, most of the time, and I'll smile and say, "Thank you," or "Have a nice day," and take no offense either way. I don't get all pushed out of shape if someone says, "Happy Holidays." And I don’t even care if they are silly enough to call what is obviously a “Christmas” tree a “Holiday” tree or call the RED and GREEN cake mix “Holiday” confetti cake when Christmas is the only RED and GREEN holiday I’m aware of. You know why? Because most of America isn’t really celebrating Christmas anymore, anyway. Most of America is celebrating the secularized, materialistic version with no room for Jesus - so let them have their “Holiday,” and happy on ‘em. 

I, for one, will continue to celebrate Christmas, and choose to enjoy it with my family in the way in which we choose. And I’m DONE apologizing and tiptoeing about Santa and worrying about offending over a lie. I don’t say that with rancor or anger, though I realize it probably reads that way. 

I’m just done making an issue where there shouldn’t have been one. I messed up, well-intentioned though I may have been, and I’m done with that.


Carla Rolfe said...

I just want to say that you're not alone here. My husband and I did the exact same thing for many years, for the exact same reason, and it yielded the exact same results. We had all the best intentions, thought we were doing the right thing, but it just ended up being far more confusing for the kids than anything else. I suppose it's one of those "live and learn" things. :-)

Kay said...

We did the same Santa etc. I don't know how you dealt with it, but we told our daughter that there wasn't a Santa and but that people liked to talk about him like he's real and kids think he's real (so don't spoil their fun) and adults will ask what Santa is bringing you. And they are really just asking what you want for Christmas so just tell them and leave Santa out of it. I'm sorry you've had this much trouble that it's made matters worse. It really became a non issue for us when she was very young and we never had any problems with it. I am thankful we did it because it seems to spoil Christmas for some kids when they don't "believe" anymore. And I didn't want that for us. And I didn't want to lie to her and a bunch of other reasons too.

But here lately I have had many of the same thoughts you've had regarding the holiday in general. Everybody rants to keep Christ in Christmas but the holiday is so secularized and associated with such greed in selfishness that sadly sometimes I wonder if He would prefer we just let the world have the holiday that it's already got such a tight hold on anyway.

Hang in there with your Santa issue. You shouldn't be sorry for trying to go against the current. Hugs! : )