A "Where I Am Right Now" Post

My husband flew to Tampa on Thursday morning so that he could be there for the service to celebrate our friend’s life. I wish I could have gone, too, but with kids in school we decided I really needed to stay home.

We have been talking a lot over the past few days. Our friend’s homegoing has really made us think, I must admit. Our friend had been healthy and active, but a heart attack struck on Saturday, and 51 seems too soon from our limited perspective. I know and trust that God has His plan in it all, and I know that His grace will sustain the family. Knowing the church body there, that family will be loved and cared for and I am praying for them that they will experience His peace which passes all understanding. Drew said the service was wonderful and a beautiful time of remembering the faithful life this man led. It was also a time of worshiping our wonderful Savior and enjoying the hope and bond of love and fellowship we have together in Christ.

Drew and I have been struggling with a big decision recently, and we were pretty sure we had made the correct one for our family, and Drew told me that this event has served as confirmation for him that our decision is the right one. We are taking a close look at things and making sure our priorities are in order and that we’re making wise use of our time because this has really reminded us not to take tomorrow for granted. Not that we’re living in fear, but just that we sometimes get a little too comfortable with being too busy and with taking time for granted.

In our church situation, Drew has had an awful lot of hats to wear, and he has made the difficult decision to step down from those positions. We are also very seriously looking at going to another church. This has not been an easy or quick decision. But we see our kids growing older and having no Christian peers their age and not enough solid teaching to support and back up what we are attempting to give them at home, and though we truly have tried to be part of the solution for the past four years, and though the pastor wants to lead the people to do a better job of training the children and is trying to look at ways to get that functioning better, not enough people in the pews seem to see the need for things to change, and we cannot do it by ourselves and our oldest son is 9. We don’t have time to waste on these kinds of things! Our kids actually went to VBS last summer at the church we are visiting now. When we first visited the other church last month, it was amazing the excitement our kids have expressed for the teaching that utilizes less fun and games and more solid stuff. They beg to go there even though the service is longer with longer preaching time and the Sunday school classes aren’t as full of games and fluff, though still geared for their young minds and structured in a way they can learn. But there are lots of young families and many kids in their classes who are their age and teachers who are passionate about not wasting the short time we have with these kids. In other words, the times they are there will never be treated as babysitting, but as opportunities to present the gospel in a way children can hear it.

We had already basically made up our minds it was time to go where we could be better fed and in effect be more fruitful servants, and this news about our friend has helped solidify in our hearts that it is the right thing. And, talking with my friend who had called to tell us the news on the phone the other day and hearing Drew talk about the friends he reconnected with yesterday while in Florida has really made me realize just how very, very lonely I have been here for the past four years, and also to realize there is a good possibility that will not change if we stay at our current church. We have plugged in for four years to be a useful part of that body, and I think we have been, but we also believe it is finally time to move on.

We only have a short time to parent these boys and little girl. We know that we are responsible to train up our children in the Lord. Part of that responsibility is to ensure that they are in a Bible believing and teaching church where they will be exposed to good teaching that supports what we teach them at home. Drew and I didn’t want to wake up one day and realize we had sacrificed our own children to serve where we are when the thriving and growing and Bible teaching church down the street is a better place for us to plug in. We really do love our pastor and the people of our church and do not want to hurt anyone, but after four years of trying to be part of the solution and seeing so very little change along the way, we have found that we are in need of more solid food and fellowship for ourselves and for our children, too. We were beginning to dry up for lack of solid fellowship with other growing Christian friends. This has been so hard for us, and anyone who’s been reading my blog awhile probably already knows I’ve had it so very heavy on my heart for many months now. We do not take membership in our local church lightly, and we are not angry or hurt or leaving for petty reasons, but we do think that it is time to go, and I hate that it will be hurtful to some when we do, and no, I have no desire to air out all the issues here in this public forum, but we do think this is the proper decision for our family at this time.

So, this is what I haven’t been blogging about, and maybe I shouldn’t even be writing as much as I have here. But it is what we have been praying and seeking direction about for a long time. I know this post is somewhat rambling, but these are some of the thoughts weighing so heavily on my heart lately, and they are part of the reason for the “fluffier” blogging of late, as well.