God's Protective Authority

Please go here to see Leslie's post for this week and to join the other ladies in the discussion group.

I find it interesting that I have heard two teachings this week about how important it is to have a proper understanding of God. One was in our homework for the Bible study I participate in on Thursdays. We have just completed Matthew 25, and the parable of the three servants and the talents found in that chapter deals with having a right understanding of God and in serving Him faithfully as we wait for Christ’s return. Our understanding of God is also the major focus in Chapter 2 of The Excellent Wife, “A Wife’s Understanding of God: God’s Protective Authority.” When I hear something this important from two totally different sources in the same week, I think I’d better sit up and listen. I have to confess that this chapter was hard for me for some reason.

So, I’ve been searching my heart to see where my understanding of God’s character may be lacking. A few years ago, when I first began wrestling with what it means that God is sovereign, I can see now that I did not, at that time, have a proper understanding of God’s goodness and compassion. It was frightening to me to think that He could ask anything of me that He chose. I wasn’t guaranteed a life without suffering. The fear came from not properly understanding that God is also gracious, righteous and compassionate, and He is not capricious. He has a purpose in all He does. Even if suffering comes into my life, I do not have to fear, because God is with me. He is our Comforter and Savior and Friend, and I do not have to fear in that way. In fact, that kind of fear is actually sin because it shows a very wrong understanding of God’s character and of my relationship to Him in Christ. Jesus died and rose again to free me from sin, I can completely trust His love and care for me as one who believes on Him. It is a lie to think that I can trust Him for salvation but somehow be afraid that He will not sustain me in the everyday things of this life. His love is demonstrated toward us in that while we were still sinners He endured the cross for the joy set before Him, therefore I can and must trust Him completely. I also realized that anything that I could lose that would cause me to doubt God’s care for me is ultimately an idol, because I’m trusting that thing or person more than I am trusting God. It was difficult to realize that my thinking was so far off base. But over the years I have come to understand that I can trust Him to be good and gracious and righteous and compassionate in His sovereignty, and that is a joyful and freeing thought.

That’s why the discussion in this chapter about how a wife does not have to fear was very meaningful to me. This section begins with 1 Peter 3:16,” Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”

Let me quote Martha Peace’s words in this section:

“God is the determiner of what is right. He has clearly revealed right and wrong throughout His Word. So, why might you or any Christian wife be afraid to do the right thing? Perhaps you are afraid that you will be hurt, disappointed, embarrassed, or “taken advantage of.” Perhaps you may be unsure of what is right. However, the most likely reason that you may be afraid to do what God wants is that you are afraid you won’t have your own way. There are all kinds of wrong reasons why you might use your means to try to accomplish your end.”

I didn’t continue the quote to use her example, because, honestly I couldn’t relate to it, but I did understand her main argument, and the bold is my emphasis of the part that jumped out at me. I think this is probably the root of the resistance I find myself battling when I hear teaching about submission. This is also why it is so important that her very next point of discussion is that the focus of the Christian wife is to be on God rather than herself. Amen. This is true of everyone, married or single, but it does have huge significance when I begin taking a serious look at my attitude toward my husband and my role in marriage and how well I am seeking to obey and honor God in that relationship and how detrimental selfishness is to a healthy marriage.

Another thing that was pointed out earlier in the chapter when discussing the works God has prepared for the Christian wife to do was that even our attitude and motivation matters. Mrs. Peace mentions that it “will help you to have the right attitude if you focus on what you are supposed to be doing, not on what your husband is supposed to be doing. Certainly, it is easy to get caught up in seeing whether other people (especially your husband) are doing their jobs right. However, the issue for the Christian wife is ‘am I doing the good works God intended for me?’” These are difficult words, especially when we have been steeped in the feminism and self-centered thinking that surrounds us daily.

Another thing that stuck out to me in this chapter and that I appreciated was her discussion of God’s protective authority. She talks about how our husband’s authority is limited by God, meaning that the husband is not the absolute authority over the wife, God is her ultimate authority. She obeys God first, and she must trust God as she places herself under the authority of her husband.

This really stuck out to me and I’m still thinking it over:
“Even though God’s authority is protective, this does not guarantee that your husband will always do the wisest or most godly thing. It does mean, however, that regardless of what he does, God is working in your life to ‘conform (you) to the image of His Son’ (Romans 8:29) and God can be glorified.” That takes some chewing on. I’m still thinking this through, so I won’t discuss it here more than to say that I think this is a hard teaching.

Like Leslie shared in her discussion of this chapter, I have heard so often that God has a ministry for me, and I have spent so much energy and tears and heartache struggling to find what that big thing for me to do is. I don’t think I have ever truly thought about how, as a wife, my ministry to my husband is my primary ministry, and as I minister to him I also minister to my family. I remember sitting in a women’s retreat as a young woman and young wife praying for God to show me what He wanted me to do for Him. I remember wishing I could find the big thing I could do for Him with my life, wishing He would somehow make it plainly obvious to me what I could do that would have eternal importance. I didn’t realize then that my calling to be a godly wife is significant in itself, it is eternally important. I didn’t really think about what an impact my being that kind of faithful wife would have on my children, either, as I was a joyful helpmate to their dad. I never really thought about how being faithful in the little, everyday things that He has given me to do is a big thing. In looking for the handwriting on the wall that would point me to some big thing out there to do, I have often neglected the understanding that I already have a ministry right here in my home. I must not neglect my husband and children to find some big, important something else.

Day by day, moment by moment, may I be faithful to do what God has given me to do well. Not that He necessarily won’t ever call me to something ‘big,’ but that I should not lose sight of my primary calling, and should not neglect that primary calling in a constant search for something ‘bigger.’ In other words, I need to learn to be content to minister to my husband and not feed my discontent by constantly wishing for something with 'meaning' according to the world’s standards. When I do what God has called me to do, it does have eternal value, no matter what the world might think.