Thoughts While In The Sonic Drive Through

While sitting in the drive through lane at Sonic today after a fruitful trip to Wally World WalMart(s), I noticed the bumper sticker on the car in front of me. It said, “Cats NOT kids.” Okay, this is why people say I’m too serious all the time, but that made me cry. No, I’m not judging anyone’s decision not to have children, nor do I think parenting is something to be entered into lightly,and yes, I know we live in a fallen world and most people do not hold a biblical worldview, and I wouldn’t say anything to these people in front of me or get all weird about a bumper sticker. We live in a free society and they are free to hold their opinions and put them on a bumper sticker if they wish, no skin off my nose, blah, blah, blah, blah. It just got me thinking, is all.

In our culture we are inundated with the message that children are a burden. This is wrong. I know, raising children is expensive (I won’t tell you how much I cringed at what I had to pay today to buy clothes for Boo and J – but when J comes downstairs telling me none of his pants fit anymore it is time to shop!), challenging – frustrating at times even, messy, inconvenient, you name it. But it is also one of the biggest blessings and privileges I can think of in this life. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that God has allowed me to be a wife and a mom, even when I feel frustrated or overwhelmed at times. Yes, even then it is a blessing to be mommy.

When we first got married, I was freshly out of college and a Christian young woman who sincerely wanted to live for the Lord and honor Him as a wife and mother. But I had bought into the pervasive and sometimes very subtle mindset that was all around me that we needed “our” time before we had children. We needed to “grow as a couple” before we added the “burden” of children. I so regret that now. Sure, we enjoyed the almost 5 years of marriage together before our first son came along. But I think we were also arrogant to think that we could plan to the month when we would have our kids. At that time, I did not know that it would take me almost a year to get pregnant with our first child. At that time, I did not know I would suffer three miscarriages. At that time, I did not know my husband would have several long deployments as a captain in the Army Reserve. The arrogance entered in by thinking we had all the time in the world to “enjoy our freedom” before we added the burden of parenthood, and assuming that there would be no problems conceiving and carrying the babies once we decided we were ready. I wish now that I had not viewed children as a burden that would add stress, but as a blessing to cherish. I see it now.

And I’m not denying that parenting is hard. It’s the hardest and most frightening thing I’ve ever done – and my guys are still young. But it is also infinitely rewarding. Watching the light go on in their eyes when they understand something we’ve been teaching them. Listening to their ideas and dreams. Cuddling with them. Learning to care for and about someone other than me, me, me all the time. And as I learn to give of myself to my husband and children, it begins to spill over into learning to care about other people, too. I have to confess that I am a really selfish person. That is a daily, minute-by-minute struggle for me. I am learning, oh, so slowly it seems, to prefer others before myself. And my children are a big tool God is using to teach me this. What greater honor is there than to teach the next generation to fear and love God? I am extremely thankful God has allowed me to be a wife and a mom. That is my ambition right now. Not a career to build a name for myself. But to love my husband and cherish him, and to parent and love my children well, as I submit myself to my Lord, Jesus Christ.

In a world where evolution is the underlying root of the dominant worldview, children are devalued because human life is seen as no different from animal life, just higher on the evolutionary chain. In a worldview that says these children are created in the image of God and are blessings to a family (whether they are born to that family or adopted in), we come to see them for the blessings they are. We begin to see that our selfish view of children as burdens melts into a gratitude that we get to share our lives with these little people as they grow in the knowledge and understanding of God’s grace. Oh, may I run the race of parenthood well! May I teach these children the truths of God’s Word. I pray God, in His mercy and grace, will grant to them saving faith as we obey Him to train up our children. Please, Lord God, don’t let our faults and failures be a stumbling block to them!