You find out a lot about yourself when you go through one of the big life events – moving being right up there in the top ten of those big life events, according to the ubiquitous “they” who say these things. Anyway, I’m finding out a lot about myself with this move, truth be told. Some of it isn’t all that pretty.
I think the blogging break may be coming to a close, if I can come up with posting ideas. I’ve spent the past week organizing, cleaning, and getting rid of stuff, and now the house is as clutter-free, clean and neat as I can manage. It is also officially on the market.
Here is a random status report following my quite productive break:
I probably should have stayed on break rather than writing the last post. I meant it to be light and funny, but when I re-read it later, it sounded kind of snippy. I didn't mean it to.
My idea of “deep cleaning” and the actual execution of such by the professional maids who came yesterday didn’t completely align themselves. They did an adequate job of giving me the base clean I needed so I can maintain the clean, though, so I’m not disappointed enough to complain. The cleaning the house received yesterday was about as good as I could have done, but I was a little disappointed in that I kind of wanted it better than I could have done. Notable exception: the shower in my bathroom. A-plus job on that! But the rest, I find myself today going back and redoing things and finding things that I would have liked done just a bit better. Now, if I had kept up with things around here in the first place we wouldn’t have needed to call in the maids at all, but I kind of went into a little funk after Boo was born that I am now two years out of and ready to get back on track again with the cleaning. I have found that if I rotate one major chore each day instead of leaving everything for the weekend and trying to catch up all the chores at once the house never gets too terribly out of whack.
Now that things are de-cluttered, I find that I cannot stop myself from going from room to room over and over again and picking up every little thing that is out of place. And I can’t sit down until everything is put away and neat. There is seriously something wrong with me. I’m turning into Monk, I think. But I function sooooo much better in a neat and tidy environment. It even helps me fight the blues when the house is picked up and orderly. Drew and I have already decided that J’s room must never be allowed to get into the state of chaos it developed over the past year. Every evening before bed we help the boys pick up and put away and it helps a lot. Even J says he can breathe better in his room now. I know what he means.
I’m really glad I listened to Drew and decided to stay with CBS this semester even though I won’t be here for the last half. Genesis is a good study and I’m praying for open eyes and heart to learn to have a greater understanding of our God.
I’m praying I will not drive my family crazy in the months before this move. I have this need to keep the house tidy, but I don’t want the kids to feel like they can’t live here, either. Balance, Beck, balance.
Now that I’m helping out in AWANA on Sunday nights, I feel really, really guilty for not helping M and J more with their books last spring. Some of the kids come in with notes from their moms or dads telling us what they worked on all week and what they’re ready to recite. My poor kids were doing well to remember to bring their book at all last year. I didn’t get with it too well. Now that I understand the program a little better, we’re using their books in the evenings along with the devotional book we’re going through and helping the boys with their memorizing. I wish I’d paid more attention last year, but we’re getting with it better this time around.
Boo has finally come to understand that naps are a good thing. Go girl! Now at about 12:15 or so she’ll bring her blankie to me and act all snuggly and I’ll take her in her room and rock her a bit and she goes right down when I put her to bed. This is a new thing for my little former ‘no nap wonder.’ We’re thinking she’s also probably ready to transition to a big girl bed. We had talked about not wanting to move the crib this time and just making that transition over the move, but then we rethought that. It would be awful to get there without the crib and find that she wouldn’t sleep in the bed – too many changes all at once. So, we’re going to be starting that process in the next couple of weeks. My little baby is growing too fast. Wah.
I was really surprised how sad I felt when our realtor came by yesterday and put the sign up in the yard. Anyone who has read this blog over the past two years probably remembers that struggle I have had because I haven’t really liked living here as much as I wish I could have liked it. For the first four years I didn’t think I’d ever feel settled here, but this past year, since we started going to our current church and I found CBS, I have finally started to settle in. Then Drew got that out-of-the-blue call that changed everything and I find myself emotionally pulling away, even though I don’t mean to. But it still feels really weird to see that sign out there in the front yard. We brought Boo home to this house. And we really thought that we’d be here for a while – on through the boys’ high school at least. But God brought something else along and surprised us with an exciting adventure ahead.
Enough rambling for now. Maybe the break will be ending. I hope to get back to posting and reading again now that the whirlwind is slowing for a bit.