Summer Blogging

This summer, for various and sundry reasons, seems to have sapped my blogging ability. The blog is quiet, not because I have nothing I’m thinking about, but because I’ve been busy and distracted, finding that maybe I need to be little better about scheduling our time this summer, and though my mind and journal are full, I find that I cannot write about my thoughts out here. I have found that when I’m burdened about things in my real life that are not things I can blog about, that tends to force out the things I can blog about, if that makes sense. So, I’m checking in here at the Sweet Tea place to say that all is well with the family, but there is much busyness ensuing around here, and some things that are weighing on my heart but that I am praying and trusting God to work mightily in bringing understanding and wisdom and reconciliation for His glory as we seek to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel, by the power of the Holy Spirit, trusting in and submitting to the Lord Jesus who loves His church. I do have more substantial posts I’m mulling if I can ever get a moment when I’m not too mentally tired to work them out.

Until then, I’ll share a few random mundane things:

Waved good-bye to the church bus this afternoon as the boys left for kids’ camp. I miss them already, but I know they will have a great week. I have prayed for them, and continue to pray for them that they will not only have a lot of fun, but most importantly that they would be encouraged in their walk with Jesus and grow in love for Him.

Just realized that I am not a fan of the ice-cream truck that drives through our neighborhood. For one thing, the driver is smoking as she drives through the neighborhood, and that just is not appetizing when I think about buying ice cream from her while she smokes. It just grosses me out. Sorry, that’s where I am at the moment on that one. I dunno, maybe smoke that cigarette while out on the highway and stub it once she gets into the neighborhood where all the kids are? Soapbox over. Also, Rachel just yelled downstairs after looking out her window and seeing the ice-cream truck drive by quickly, “MOM! We missed the ice-cream truck AGAIN! How come we always miss it?” Two reasons, I seem to have entered a cash-free phase of life, meaning there is almost never a dollar or two lying around here on the afternoons when the ice-cream truck flies through here. Speaking of flying through, that’s the second reason. By the time I hear and see the truck, she’s off our street before I’ve had time to search high and low in the event I do scrounge up a dollar or two to buy a popsicle identical to the ones sitting in my freezer. That’s why Rachel can have one of those from the freezer and be happy, I say. Not to mention the irritating songs that play over and over and over and over as it files down our street. I’m an ice-cream truck scrooge, according to one very vocal 5-year-old. Bah popsicle.

My husband got my belated birthday present the other day: a Nook Color. I really like it. Now I’ve got to finish the library book I was already reading so I can read the Nook book I bought for my Nook. Of course the Nook purchase included the necessity of buying a wireless router so we can have WiFi in the house (secured of course) so I don't have to go to Panera whenever I want to connect the Nook to the internet. Not that frequent trips to Panera are a bad thing, but I digress. Drew said I’m like a kid in a candy store as I peruse the Nook books online. I can see I will have to put myself on a budget and strictly enforce it. So many books...... Bad thing is, I put some fun game apps on it, too, for the kids I said. However, they are addictive. Not sure how much reading is going to happen there after all. I told you I’ve been distracted. And I wonder where the brain power for blogging is seeping away.

Oh, and I find it really funny that, according to sitemeter, the top search phrase that lands people on my blog is "my dog is driving me crazy." Must be a lot of crazy dog-owners out there, judging by how often that lands someone here. Sorry I'm not more helpful on that topic. LOL

It’s hot here. I said I wouldn’t complain once it finally warmed up since winter seemed to drag on interminably long this year, so I’m not complaining. I’m just stating a fact. It’s hot, hot, hot. My thermometer is reading 121.6. I am making sure not to stand in whatever direct sunlight baking spot we have that thing placed. Weather channel says it's 89, feels like 93. Hot enough. We have been enjoying the pool membership.

And with that, I’ll sign off for now. Hopefully with a somewhat quieter house this week I’ll take the time to write out those blog posts I’m mulling. Hopefully.

Happy Monday!

Dog Days

There are ‘cat people’ and ‘dog people.’ We are definitely ‘dog people.’ I don’t hate cats, I like them okay, but as to pet preference, it’s definitely ‘dog.’ Ol’ Yeller and Because of Winn Dixie make me cry every time I watch them.

I did not have a dog or cat growing up. Since Drew and I have been married we’ve owned two dogs. Our first dog was a purebred Miniature Schnauzer we bought from a distant cousin of Drew’s. That dog’s name was Oliver. I loved that dog. I wrote about him here, here, here and here, and other places if you want to search 'dog' and see. I was heartbroken when we lost him, especially the way he was lost, and I felt silly about how sad I was for how long. But he was my dog. I’m a ‘dog person,’ like I said.

Anyway, the kids really wanted a new dog soon. I wasn’t ready and we were getting ready to move to St. Louis that wnter, so Drew and I told them to wait until the move and spring and then we’d think about getting another dog.

Enter Roscoe. We survived our first winter in St. Louis (COLD!) and in March of 2009 I started looking online for local pet-rescue shelters and looking at pictures of available dogs, because the kids were really begging, “Mom, Dad, you said in spring we could look for a new dog, it’s spring!!” Of all the pictures I looked over, I kept coming back to this cute little black and white dog on a no-kill shelter’s site. I told Drew, “This is the dog.” So we e-mailed them and began a long conversation. Turns out Roscoe had pneumonia and wasn’t yet well enough for them to bring him to an adoption event. We spent several weeks e-mailing back and forth, checking on his status, and finally went to an adoption event and filled out the paperwork that would allow us to take him home once we finally got to meet him. Finally we got word that he was recovering enough for them to bring him, and we went that Saturday to meet him. Of course we all fell in love with him. I was worried, though, because after the heartbreak of losing Oliver, I wasn’t sure I wanted to take in a dog that had health issues - didn’t want to risk losing him soon.

Roscoe ended up thriving once we got him home in late April. I think he just needed freedom and people to love on him. And he certainly has that with us.

Now that we’ve had Roscoe for two years, Drew and I have been making some observations about differences between purebred and rescued dogs. We have no idea what kind of dog Roscoe is....he’s just a cute little mutt.

Here are some observations:

Purebred, pampered from birth: If the door to the house was open, Oliver was out and exploring. He might wander home on his own when he good and felt like it, but he was a wanderer.

Rescued dog: If the door to the house is open, Roscoe will stay right there on the couch sleeping. If not, he’ll stand at the door looking at it like, “Why would I want to go out there? It’s nice and comfy in here where the people are.” If he does get out, he races around the yard and comes right back to the door. He is not about to risk getting lost. He’s been ‘out there’ and doesn’t think he needs to see any more of the world, thank you. We’ve nick-named him “Boomerang.”

Purebred: We never could teach Oliver to sit and wait for a treat no matter how hard we tried. He sort of acted like we owed him a bone just for being there.

Rescued dog: If I’m in the kitchen, Roscoe is there with his tail wagging, looking expectantly at the pantry door waiting for a bone. He’ll look at you earnestly and sit, tail still wagging, like he’s saying, “Please? A bone for me? I’m sitting.....”

Purebred: Oliver might come when you called him in from outside, if he was good and ready to come.

Rescued dog: If you call Roscoe, he’s scrambling to get there. He wants to be with his people, and isn’t about to risk being left outside.

Purebred: Oliver liked to snuggle, but it was usually on his terms. He liked to be where we were, but he liked his space, too.

Rescued dog: If I sit, Roscoe is right there, tail wagging, begging for a cuddle.

Purebred: Oliver would NOT go outside in the rain. No matter how long it had been raining or how much he must have to go potty.

Rescued dog: Roscoe doesn’t seem to mind the rain or even notice it.

Purebred: Oliver was TERRIFIED of fireworks and thunder.

Rescued dog: Roscoe sleeps through it all, and if he’s awake, he wags his tail happily and acts like nothing’s going on out of the ordinary.

But both dogs have been good little buddies. I’m thankful God gave us animals who can be little companions. I know it’s nothing like human friends and family, but I’m thankful for the little joys our dogs add to life. Roscoe’s happy, constantly wagging tail just makes me smile. There’s a sign at our vet’s office that says, “A dog smiles with his tail.” If so, then Roscoe is the smiliest dog I think I’ve ever known. Though Oliver was a really good dog and will always have a special place in my memory, I’m glad we found Roscoe when we went looking for a new dog that spring in 2009.

Funny......

......how when life gets busy, the blog gets quiet. My blog of late has not been a reflection of my life, that's for sure. The silence here has an inverse relationship with the noise elsewhere, but that's how it is. Probably will be continuing on the quiet side for the foreseeable future, but wanted to check in and let anyone who cares know that I'm still kicking over here in Sweet Tea land. I do have some posts percolating. Sometimes when my blog is quiet, my private journal is full, but that's just life, too. One thing I've learned over the four years I've been blogging is that it's better to hash out some things in the journal and not on the blog. But sometimes that means a quiet blog, too. Hoping to get back to the blog soon.

God has been merciful this week, and I'm thankful. I had a major bout of sinus troubles again, resulting in a very stuffy ear on Sunday morning, making singing in the choir Sunday morning.....interesting. It got worse. Monday morning I woke up so very dizzy I was feeling sick, meaning the congestion had moved from outer ear to inner ear and was doing a number on me. I took the sinus medicine I usually take when I have these troubles and it did nothing, so I called my husband and asked him to bring home some motion sickness pills so I could try and see if that would help. Did I mention that our VBS started up on Monday night? I was scheduled to work with the 4th graders, and as of early afternoon on Monday I was not at all sure how I was going to manage getting to the church, much less being a crew leader for a bunch of 4th graders. But, in His mercy, God allowed the motion sickness pills to settle my roiling equilibrium and by time to leave for VBS I was feeling stable and ready to go.

Doctor visit on Tuesday morning resulted in me feeling much, much better by Wednesday. Follow up visit next week and I'm going to be asking for a referral to an allergist. I think I'm allergic to Kentucky.

VBS was exciting, and I was happy to get to talk to one of my kids about some questions she was having. I'm praying for her that the gospel will truly take root in her heart.

My daughter told me last night that she wishes we could have VBS every night. Personally, I'm really glad we had it this week. Every night, however, no, I don't think so. I'm exhausted after one week.

Looking forward to going to dinner with some friends tonight. Babysitter coming over to our house is brave enough to watch our three and their four, and I've been cleaning floors and bathrooms like a crazy woman all day to prepare. House got a little behind what with me being dizzy for two days and VBS late nights and all. We're good now. Anyway, looking forward to adult conversation and fellowship and prayer together tonight. We share a burden with this family to pray for our church together. I love fellowshipping with friends who are also brothers and sisters in Christ and knowing we can gather together to pray and knowing the Lord hears us and guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus when we do.

Interesting week. In lots of ways. Those things were just the tip of the iceberg. There've been ups and downs and in-betweens all week. Just like always. And in the midst of it all, God is working all things for His glory, and I am trusting Him for this, and find great peace and joy in knowing it.

Status Report June 2011

With nods to Lisa, here’s my status report for June:

Sitting.....in the kitchen, enjoying the air conditioning.

Drinking....Tea, Earl Grey, hot. Mr. Data, warp speed, please. Couldn’t resist an obscure Star Trek reference. College roomies, remember Star Trek every afternoon? Like Captain Picard, I enjoy a nice, hot cup of Earl Grey.

Reading.....Christianity and Liberalism by J. Gresham Machen and looking forward to reading the discussion over here. I’ve got a little catching up to do already, though. Also reading This Body of Death by Elizabeth George, the latest in the Thomas Lynley series. Also reading Slave by John MacArthur. Once again I’ve gotten myself in the position of having too many books going at once.

Enjoyed....watching my boy at his awards ceremony this morning. He got several awards for his progress in reading - he’s in fourth grade and reading at least at a 12th grade level with scores off the chart. This being the boy we weren’t sure was going to be much of a reader when he was younger. Once he decided he liked to read, he took off. Yes!! So much fun to share the joy of reading with my kids.

Also enjoyed....a little trip to Target where I treated my girl to a popcorn and a drink as a thank you treat for being so well-behaved at the boring-to-her ceremony.

Celebrating....that today is the last day of school! So looking forward to summer break. I paid our family pool membership fees today, and I’m planning to use that pool A LOT this summer with the kids. Summertime, summertime!!!

Pondering....getting a Kindle. I've been researching and asking opinions on this. The whole e-book thing is new to me, and a little overwhelming and confusing. I know that e-books won't replace real, paper books for me....I just love the feel and smell of books and I love seeing the progress as you flip through the pages. But, there are a lot of books I'd like to read but don't really need paper copies around, and the Kindle seems so portable it is interesting to me. Anyway, I thought briefly about the iPad, but decided I really don't need the temptation to be online any more than I already am, and that would be the only reason for going with it over strictly an e-book reader for me, I think. Now it's to decide between the Kindle and the Nook, but I'm leaning mostly toward the Kindle. I've already asked my Facebook friends, how about here? Any opinions or experience with e-readers? Any advice?

Thinking....about how I want to not only run well for a time, but to finish well. I was reading in 2 Chronicles about King Asa, and I got excited when I read 14:2, “And Asa did what was good and right in the eyes of the LORD his God.” It’s always a breath of fresh air when reading about the kings when one of them gets that commendation. However, near the end of his life, Asa did something foolish and rather than repenting when the prophet confronted him, as King David did years earlier, he got angry with the prophet and put him in prison. That, to me, is very sad. It got me to thinking about how my strength and ability to stand firm are rooted in Christ, not in my own fickle heart. It also got me to thinking, as we discussed in our devotional at choir practice last night, that I do not want to position myself in an attitude of pride before the Lord. I am so grateful for grace and for the fact that it is Jesus who is the anchor for my soul, and it is He who will complete the work He has begun in me and will bring me safely to the end, secure in Him. I want to live for Him, faithful to the end, because He has made me His own. And because He has made me His own, I trust that He will cause me to stand.

Thankful.....for so very many things. God’s mercies are abundant and more toward those who are His, and I am grateful.

Forty is Not a Bad Word

Psalm 139:1-6

1 O LORD, you have searched me and known me!

2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

3 You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

4 Even before a word is on my tongue,

behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

5 You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

Though "40" seems a surreal number to apply to myself, that day has come, and it is today. Some women get all morose about that number. I don't think I'm one of them. Today, I am thankful that it is the anniversary of the day the LORD chose to give me breath, as someone reminded me. I am so thankful for the 40 years He has given me, and even more thankful that in His amazing grace He has chosen to allow me to walk so many of them with Him, saved by His grace, forgiven because of His blood shed for me, growing in His grace, surrounded by His mercy, blessed to be hid in Christ, belonging to Him for His glory. With such high and wonderful thoughts, how could "40" be anything less than joyful today? Thank You, my Jesus, for another day, and another birthday, at that.

Camping!

We got to go camping over the weekend at a state park about an hour from home. It was a first ever for me, though Drew has taken the boys before and he used to go camping as a kid with his family. We went with two other families we are friends with from our church, and I'm so thankful our friends, J & D, invited us all along! All in all there were 17 of us on three campsites, counting adults and kids and we shared the evening cooking duties among us and just had a really good time together all weekend. The kids got along great, and I know they had a fun time. The only thing I don't like (besides the nasty showers, which were decent at the beginning of the weekend but pretty gross by the last day) was missing church on Sunday, but we had a really nice family worship time that morning, and really enjoyed the little Bible study we did with the kids. All in all, I really enjoyed our first family camping outing - having friends along made it perfect, too. I'm still not sure camping will be my vacation of choice, though. I could not WAIT to take a real shower in a clean bathroom and get the smoke smell off me once we got home. Lots of work before and after the relaxing, but it was definitely worth it.

Just like less is more in blogging, and I haven't gotten the hang of that, I'm sure less is more with picture sharing, too. However, I had a hard time narrowing it down, so even though there were LOTS more pictures I wanted to share, here are a few - still more than a decent sized blog post should allow, I'm sure. Enjoy or not.....

One of the cool things about Drew being active duty rather than just Reserves now and actually working on post and being stationed at a real base is that we get privileges on post. One privilege is that we were able to rent a cute little camper from Ft. Knox at a very reasonable price. And I do mean LITTLE. Imagine all 5 of us sleeping in there. But it had a microwave, so Joshua and I got to have tea, which was a good thing, let me tell you. And it made for some cozy family bonding time. I am extremely thankful for how well the kids behaved and got along for the most part this weekend. Made it a fun weekend.



Rachel was glad to have her best little friend along....sometimes a little too glad. She wanted to be wherever W. was no matter what. But he doesn't seem to mind.



Me trying to read my Bible before the day got going. Not sure why I was standing, but Drew thought it was interesting enough for a picture. Also the very last moment I needed a sweater. We had beautiful weather all weekend. After all the rain we've had recently, we really couldn't have asked for a nicer camping weekend, though the lake was closed to swimming due to flooding, and it did heat up A LOT Saturday afternoon and Sunday.



Our family went off for our own little nature walk on Saturday. I'm so thankful for the people in this picture!



Because the boys got to do some things she wasn't old enough to do, Drew took Rachel horseback riding. She wasn't too sure about it at first, but then she loved it. Drew said the boy helping her was really good with her - talked to her the whole time and she got more comfortable and really LOVED "Shorty" the horse. I'm glad she got some bonding time with her daddy, too.



Rachel with "Shorty."



I just love this picture! Rachel and Daddy.



Of course, we had to have bacon one morning - Michael's favorite thing.



The older kids got to do some archery one day. Being at a state park was cool because they had all kinds of neat, free things for the kids to take advantage of throughout the weekend. This is Joshua in the yellow shirt.


Michael in the middle.



S'mores on the last evening.





The kids really all had a great time playing together. Lots of fun!

Thankful Thursday and Thinking About Prayer

Hmm. I just realized as I went to post this that it's been a whole week since I last posted here. Time just flies. Blogging may continue on the lighter side this week as well.

This is, I think, the third post in which I’ve mentioned the ladies’ retreat we had a few weeks ago, but I have to say something about it again in this Thankful Thursday post. I have been concerned for a while now that I’m not very focused in my praying. One thing I’ve made it a habit to do is that when I say I’ll pray for someone I try to pray right then because I don’t want to forget. I tend to say little conversational kinds of prayers throughout the day, but, when I sit down to pray in a focused way, I tend to be a bit ADD in that I no sooner start to pray then I’m thinking about the 1 million chores I need to be doing or my mind is wandering all over the place.

One thing I’m thankful for is that on the ladies’ retreat, our speaker gave us a little outline that has worked for her in organizing her thoughts as she prays. Basically it begins with bowing to worship, taking cares to the Lord and laying them at His feet, confessing and asking Him to search your heart, praying through Eph. 6:10-18, thinking on an attribute of God from the Scripture and thanking Him, praying for others, reading the Bible and praying about how you need to respond to and obey His word that you’ve just read. Taking the basic format, I’ve been making myself a prayer notebook with an outline that works for me and helps me focus during my quiet time in the morning which I’ve typed up and put in page protectors in a little notebook, along with a list of people I pray for every day, and then I’ve broken up other prayer concerns and assigned them a day of the week when I will be praying over them - things like my family and church (those are on the every day list), my country and leaders, neighbors, friends, extended family, and some other things (certain days of the week). I’ve also started listing out scriptures as I’m reading the Bible that I find I can pray for people on my list.

One thing that I thought of today is to print out a list of my Facebook friends and blog friends for one of the weekdays. Each week I’ll take a few friends from those lists and pray specifically for them, and when I actually know of specific needs I’ll remember them, too. I got to thinking what a special way that could be to take a hobby and make something meaningful of it. As to the blog friends list, if you’ve interacted with me in a somewhat regular way, you are probably on that list. If you want to be on that list, please leave me a comment or send an e-mail and I’ll be happy to add you. I’ve also added to my list the bloggers I read regularly, whether I have actually interacted with them or not.

So, I’m thankful for the encouragement and practical organizational tips the speaker at our retreat gave me to help me to become more organized and diligent in praying. For all the talk about prayer these days that tries to make prayer out to be some contemplative, wispy, unmindful thing, I don’t want to be caught up in seeking after some elusive, hyper-romanticized experience. I want to pray and love God with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength. I want to be grounded in God’s word and fellowshipping with Him in a way that truly honors Him and is biblical and will teach me to grow in Christ as I submit to Him and love Him more and be living for His glory throughout the day.

Thankful Thursday

I’m thankful for the ladies’ retreat we had last weekend. I already wrote about it, but I received some very needed and practical encouragement about daily prayer that has stuck with me this week. I noticed something, too, and I must thank God and give Him glory and praise for the work He is doing in me. I have written before about how I struggle with my temper and impatience. I noticed this week after thinking and praying purposefully through Ephesians 6:10-18 each morning that though my circumstances haven’t changed at all, looking back over the past several days I’ve been much more even keel in how I responded to frustration this week. Friends, that is all God’s amazing grace, and to God be the glory, great things He is doing as He is working in me to conform me to His image. God is so very kind to us!

I’m thankful for a sweet time of prayer together with my fellow choir members last night. Rather than practice, we spent the entire rehearsal time praying for our church.

I’m thankful for a sunny afternoon walk with my daughter today, and I’m thankful that she is coming around about my hair. She still doesn’t like it, but she is dealing better with it today. I said on Facebook that you don’t take a walk with a 5-year-old if you’re looking for a heart-pumping workout. But if you want to look at weeds and see them to be beautiful yellow flowers and enjoy the magic of dandelions and remember that S-T-O-P spells stop at every single stop sign and enjoy amiable chatter, then a walk with a 5-year-old is just the thing for the first sunny afternoon in ages.

Did I mention sunny afternoon? Yes, I was thankful to see the sun again. It’s been a gray spring so far.

I’m thankful for my parents. They taught me, and continue to teach, much about loving Jesus and His word, and I am so grateful. I’m thankful I got to Skype my dad yesterday and tell him happy birthday.

I’m thankful for music. I ordered the soundtracks from Tangled and Enchanted because I just really like those movies and the music. Had a great time listening to them in the car with my oldest son and youngest daughter today as we drove to son’s trumpet lesson. Son tolerated it and read his book, daughter laughed out loud as song after song that she recognized from her favorite movies came on.

I’m thankful for my husband and his love for me. He says he likes the hair. I’m quite sure he doesn’t love it, but he does love me, and I love him, too.

My Daughter Hates My Hair

I got my hair cut today. I was thinking I needed a change, but I didn’t actually go in today meaning to make a radical one. However, the more I thought about it and talked to my hairdresser, the more we thought maybe it was time to try something different, something shorter. I have this really coarse, really thick, really difficult hair. So we’re thinking try it short.

Boy howdy.

It’s short.

I think I like it, but it will definitely take some getting used to. Ask my daughter.

I had to go straight from the hairdresser’s to Rachel’s preschool, so I didn’t get to go home and mess around with the hair and make it look less....severe. I usually like my styling better, you know. Anyway, she almost wouldn’t come home with me. Her teacher said, “Rachel, your mom’s here,” and Rachel looked at me, eyes immediately filled with tears, and said, “You cut your hair.” Teacher looked up and said, “Oh, wow! You did! It looks cute!” Rachel said, “I don’t like it.” And proceeded to cry. Loudly. All. The. Way. Home. In the car, into the house, “Please put it back, grow it back, Mommy.” She wouldn’t even look at me. This is the child who, when her then-favorite toy, Pink Bear, lost its nose wouldn’t look at it and covered it up in a blanket for MONTHS, even after I glued the nose back on and you couldn’t tell it had ever come off. We have issues.

So. My hair is short. I think I like it. I think I’ll get used to it. I think my daughter will too. She’ll have to. It grows fast, but not that fast. Good thing I don't get all my self-esteem from the 5-year-old's opinion.

I think I’ll e-mail my husband and suggest he look at my blog before he comes home and tell him if he loves me at all, to please lie if he hates the hair. I can handle the rejection from the 5-year-old...I think. Honey, just lie.

Rachel did come in here to find out what I was doing and wanted to take a picture with me...so there's hope, right?

Full to Overflowing

It's been a busy, but oh so good weekend.

Our church had a ladies' retreat this weekend, to which I almost did not go. A friend asked if I was going, and I waited until the very last minute to turn in my registration - and I only did that because my husband all but insisted that I go. He said I needed it and I am always glad when I go. He was right. Again. I told my friend on the way there that I was the least prepared - spiritually, emotionally, physically, and every way - than I'd ever been for any retreat I've ever attended. But....it was good....good for me. I needed the fellowship, and even more importantly, I needed the encouragement I received from the speaker and the encouragement she gave in reminding us to rest in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and to seek Him first with all our heart and then to serve out the overflow of His love as we spend time in prayer and feasting on His word daily.

Last night we had a Sunday School fellowship. Again, I almost didn't go because I had just gotten home from the retreat and thought I just wanted a night at home. But, again, husband all but insisted that we go. He was right. Again. Are you sensing a trend here? It was a relaxing evening of enjoying the company of friends we got to know a little better, and I have not laughed so hard or so long in a very long time.

What a blessing the reminder to rest in Jesus and savor His word and the joy of laughter has been. What a balm to a sinking heart that was struggling with the blues for quite a while now. I needed this weekend.

And top it all off with a lovely day with my church family today. I said on Facebook this afternoon that every Sunday I find that I want to say something about how full my heart is after meeting with my church family and how words are never enough to describe what I want to say. There is something very powerful about gathering together to worship the Lord corporately that words just really cannot express fully. And when you think about it, that is only a glimpse through a glass darkly of what heaven will be like when the Body of Christ made up of the saints from all the ages and all people groups worship Jesus and know Him fully and see Him face to face. What a glorious day that will be.

For now, I am grateful for the blessing of being part of the Body of Christ here. May I love Him more and more, and may I serve for the joy of knowing Him and the power of His resurrection and may I learn to serve from the overflow of His merciful, gracious love that has redeemed me to be part of His people. May I remember that God will use me here where He has planted me and it is good.

And I am grateful for my husband who lovingly encourages me to quit being a hermit and enjoy what he so wisely knows I need.

From My Recent Reading: A Quote From Octavius Winslow

I’ve been slowly reading my way through Soul Depths and Soul Heights by Octavius Winslow. The following quote from chapter 7, “Hoping in the Lord,” is one of the reasons I have really appreciated this book. It is not a quick read, but it is good and worth thinking through. In light of the fact that we need to be discerning as we read and listen to any writers or speakers but especially those who claim to be Christian, I so much appreciate Winslow’s exhortation to have the Word of God as our ground and proof for truth.

“A few practical deductions will close this chapter. It follows from the preceding exposition that it is of the utmost importance, of vital moment, that we make sure of the nature and foundation of our hope. There are false hopes of heaven, as there are false hopes of earth. It was a most holy prayer of the Psalmist, which every believer should, in a daily examination of his real state before God, breathe - ‘Let me not be ashamed of my hope’ (Psa. 119:116). Oh, what multitudes are cherishing a spurious hope of heaven! building their hope, not upon the Rock Christ Jesus, but upon the quicksand of their own righteousness! Look well, my reader, to the nature and foundation of your hope for the future! In settling the question of its reality, assume nothing as true which has not God’s Word for its ground and its proof.

It is written: ‘Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.’ It is written: ‘If any man be in Christ Jesus, he is a new creature.’ It is written: ‘Without holiness no man shall see the Lord.’ It is written: ‘He that believeth not shall be damned.’ Heaven and earth shall pass away, with all their greatness and grandeur, but God’s Word shall never pass away! Look well, then, to your hope after death. See that it is built upon Christ alone - a divine Redeemer, a personal Christ, a sin-atoning Saviour-Christ, the Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, yes, the all and in all of your hope of glory.”

Quote of the Day

My husband and 12-year-old son are preparing to build a swing set in the backyard. Son is looking at all the pieces of lumber and reading the very long set of instructions. He looked up and said, "This is a lot different from Legos."

I thought that was hilarious.

Math Makes Me Cry

My husband and I were talking today about how long it looks like we may get to stay here if the Army decides the way we think it will regarding his career path. Yeah, that sentence is clear as mud....I don’t know how else to express it.

Anywho...he was saying a certain time frame looked likely (no promises just thinking out loud, this is the Army you know), and I started doing the math on how old the kids will be, because that’s basically how I measure time these days. Then I choked up and started to cry while we were on the phone together, because it doesn’t really seem all that long, but when you start putting the kids’ faces on it, it makes you realize how fast time flies, and my little girl is turning 5 on Wednesday, and she’s the baby. That means the older ones are not babies, either. In fact, the oldest boy is almost as tall as me and entering that awkward stage boys do when their voices get all crackly and they still are kids but....not so much anymore. He really, really doesn’t want Mom to hug him anymore, and that makes me cry, too. He still likes Legos, though, and our read-aloud-together time in the evenings. The middle son still likes hugs, but don’t tell his friends, okay? I’m hugging our youngest girl every chance I get, because, well, did I mention she’s turning 5? It’s really been five years already?

I have much joy over the people they are growing to be, and I find that I enjoy them with every stage they grow through, and I find joy as I pray for them that the Lord will continue to draw them to Himself and teach them to have a heart for Him. I pray, too, that my husband and I are teaching them well and using the time we have well. I don’t want to waste the short time we have, but I also know that one thing I grieve deep down in my quiet heart is that too often in the busyness of the everyday we don’t always remember how short those everydays really are, and I know we've missed some things we should have been more on top of, and I know we've been impatient over things that really aren't all that important, and we've made mistakes along the way, and we've been, in short, sinners who have had to confess such to each other and to our children at times. In those moments, I pray for mercy and grace and wisdom, and I pray for the wisdom to use well the time we do have. And our God is so kind, so good, so very, very kind to us. And I am grateful.

So, math makes me cry. Anybody have a tissue?

Allergy Season

Working with a couple of sweet two-year-olds this morning while their mommas went to their MOPS meeting, when one of my little friends looked up from the paper he was coloring, grinned right into my face.....and sneezed. Not just a little sneeze, either. I do not think I’ve ever had so much sneeze sprayed all over my face and right into my eyes before. My inner germophobe began silently freaking out. I looked at my co-worker and said, “I’m sure it’s just allergies, right?” She smiled sickly and said, “Uh-huh.....” And then we looked at my little friend’s gunky nose, and my coworker and friend said, so reassuringly, “That doesn’t look like allergies to me.” And then we both laughed, because, what else are ya gonna do at that point?

We spent the rest of the morning assuring ourselves it’s just allergies. ‘Tis the season, after all. Meanwhile I contemplated whether dousing my face and eyes in Purell would blind me or not, and whether it might be worth it. Kidding. Sort of.

Yeah. Hand me a nice big bottle of vitamin C and the orange juice. I’ll be guzzling it straight from the jug....

Don’t you just love that sense of baited anticipation that follows such an event? Wonder what the incubation period is for this particular strain of Kentucky crud....

Confessing Our Faults and the Self-Esteem Culture

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16

A group of us at our church had a conversation recently where the question was asked, “Why is it that we find it so hard to be real with each other?” We walk through the halls at church, “Hi, how are you?” “Fine, how are you?” You may have had a horrible morning, screamed at the kids, everyone fuming on the way to church after the hustle of getting out the door, but you pull into the parking lot, put on your smile and mask over the hurt inside. We talked about how you don’t want to just dump everything onto everyone who asks, “How are you?” and you probably shouldn’t air all your dirty laundry for just anyone to see. But the question we discussed was, why is it so hard to find anyone with whom you can take off the mask and be honest? In the church, shouldn’t we be a family who bears with one another and helps each with burdens? Why are we so often not able to do that? Is it the fault of the one with the burden, too afraid to let anyone know they don’t, in fact, have it all together? Is it the fault of the one whom someone would want to ask for help - are we not being the kind of person someone can trust with that? Or is it a combination of both? How do we move beyond superficial ‘how-do-you-do’s’ to finding the kind of community that can be real?

I don’t have a complete answer for the how part, yet. I do have a little bit of thought on the why, though.

As I said during that conversation, part of the reason I don’t often open up and share is because when I do, someone either jumps all over my ‘wrong thinking’ or tries to ‘fix’ my problem. In my experience, most people are uncomfortable with honesty. When asking, “How are you,” we really don’t mean, “How are you,” we mean, “Good morning” or “Hello.” If someone, in a moment of desperation, begins to answer our implied, “Good morning,” by answering our spoken, “How are you,” and begins to tell us how they are, we get uncomfortable. TMI.

I am not saying we need to be the energy-draining person who is always down, always complaining, always sharing too much information with people we don’t know well. But we do, each of us, need the kind of friendship where we can open up and share one another’s burdens - and joys - honestly with people we have come to know well. And we, each of us, need to learn to be the kind of people who can be that kind of friend and genuinely ask, “How are you,” and mean it.

I’ve been thinking about something, and I hope I can say this without being offensive, but it’s on my heart today. One thing I’ve noticed is that we in the church do not really understand how to hear confessions of sin from each other or how to respond to them in a gospel-understanding way. One thing I’ve noticed repeatedly over the years is that if you ever do share a failing, people are really quick to reassure you and let you know that you are a really good person, you are really okay, stop being so hard on yourself, etc. You know something? As well-meaning as those attempts to boost my self-esteem are, they aren’t what I need. For example, whenever I say anything about failing in a test of patience with my kids or about messing up in an area of mothering, I get people telling me I’m a great mom, it makes them sad when I say I’ve failed as a mom, etc. I know that is well meant, but I wasn’t expressing a lack of self-esteem. I was expressing an area of sin in my life that I regret deeply and want to change. I wasn’t beating myself up unnecessarily. I wasn’t saying I thought I was an abject failure as a mom in all areas generally and woe-is-me. I was honestly admitting my fault. I know that God is in control and I am not. I am extremely grateful that He can take my faults and forgive my sin and capture my children’s hearts in spite of me.

But you know what? I am not a great mother inherently. I am not even a very nice person. I can play a pretty nice person outwardly, but you have no idea the sinful struggles I have in my mind and heart as I seek to daily die to myself and live for Christ. By God’s grace, I am a better mother than I could ever have been if I were not in the process of being sanctified by God’s grace, and I am daily learning to trust Him for the strength to parent well. But I don’t really need the guilt trip laid on me that by admitting my fault that I’m somehow being too hard on myself. Because the lectures telling me that I’m a great mom really only make me feel like now, not only did I blow it in losing my patience with my child, now I’m blowing it for admitting I have struggles, too. Saying I blew it doesn’t mean I’m despairing over my general mothering skills. It means I’m being honest and saying I sinned, today, in this very specific incident, and I know that this is an area where I tend to fall to temptation and I would welcome someone to come alongside me and pray for me and even to share that they, too, struggle with this issue. I know my heart better than people from the outside looking in do. By God’s grace, He is sanctifying me so that, by His grace He is growing His fruit in my life and overcoming the sinful me and pruning me and growing me in His grace to be the mother my kids need me to be and to be the person He would have me be. I know, desperately, my daily need for His grace, and my daily need to be preaching the gospel to myself and my children.

So, when we confess our sins to each other, we need to learn how to hear that from each other, and rather than seeing it as a self-esteem issue, which it isn’t - trust me, a big part of my problem is that I already think too much of myself - let’s learn to see it is a grace issue. Let’s learn to, instead of bolstering up self-esteem, let’s learn to come alongside with something like, “Wow. I’ve been there, too. May I pray for you? And will you pray for me?” And wouldn’t it be wonderful if then you and your friend could even search the scripture together and see what God says about this thing you’re dealing with and seek to hide God’s word in your hearts together so that you might not sin against God and so that you can spur each other on to good works. And as a sister in Christ, wouldn’t it be awesome if we would learn to preach the gospel to each other, rather than try to shore up a lagging self-esteem?

Status Report - May 2011

Sitting.....in the kitchen, smelling the ham and bean soup that is simmering for dinner. Mouth is watering. Corn bread will complement it nicely.

Sipping....Earl Grey tea, hot. A delightful afternoon treat.

Thinking....how strange it is that right when I’d decided to take a blogging break for a while, I all of a sudden felt like blogging again.

Resigned.....to the thought that I will probably never get the hang of short blog posts. I must learn that less is more. Somehow.

Pondering....how wrong it is that I get most of my news from Facebook lately. I may need to take something of a break from that time distraction. Social media doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but time wasting sure is.

Wondering....how it is possible that my baby is going to be five next week. Also wondering if I have the energy to survive the birthday party that will be at our house on Saturday.

Excited.....that The Lady and the Tramp DVD I ordered from Amazon was shipped today. I think I’m more excited to see my little girl open it than she will be to receive it. Lady Dog is her special toy - goes with her everywhere. Finally she’ll get to see the movie. I find it irritating that Disney locks away certain movies in the vault. Marketing genius, but I wanted Boo to get to see it before she doesn’t care anymore.

Thankful....for my church family. I’m constantly at a loss for words to describe how full my heart is on Sundays and after. I love how the gathering together on Sunday spurs us on to worship and serve throughout the week. May I have ears to hear and eyes to see!

Praying...for those who have been so drastically affected by the tornadoes. My heart is heavy as I hear of the damage and loss. May God have mercy, and may those who can help have strength and wisdom and compassion and resources.

Glad...there are only five weeks left of the school year. Looking forward to summer with the kids.

Realizing...that working with preschoolers on a weekly basis isn’t really my gift. I like kids, but didn’t so much love the job. Now to find where I am supposed to be serving.

Once again, I’m thankful for Lisa’s status report format.

Justice in a Fallen World

I did not know that Osama bin Ladin had been killed until I turned on Facebook this morning. Sad that I get my news from there a lot of times. Anyway, when I turned on the news this morning to check it out (because just because it's on Facebook doesn't mean it's true), I found myself very disconcerted at the dancing in the streets with people treating it like the kind of celebration over a football victory or something. I pondered a while over why I found it disconcerting, and my brother summed it up well for me when he commented on my FB query, "Why it's so disconcerting: because it is so similar to how that part of the world reacted to 9/11. We have shown that we are not above that level." I agree with my brother on that.

Later I listened to Albert Mohler's episode of "The Briefing, " and I appreciated his thoughts on it, which are even better spelled out on his blog today. So, while I am thankful for our intelligence services and military and the fact that a threat has been removed, I sincerely wish my fellow countrymen would treat it more soberly in the eyes of a watching world rather than give fuel to those who already hate us. Anyone who thinks this will end it isn't paying attention. And I'm really not looking forward to how this will be spun for all the political capital possible in the upcoming election cycle, either.

What I Want My Daughter to Know

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

I’ve been pondering something for a while now, and I’m pretty sure I will not be able to write all I want in a short post. Short posts do not seem to be a skill set I have developed yet. I know I haven’t adequately said all I want to here, but I’ve tried to get some of my thoughts organized.

I don’t know if it is that I am relatively new to parenting a girl, my two oldest being boys, or if it is something that truly is growing in our culture, but it seems that there is a whole culture of the ‘princess’ and extreme ‘girly-girlness’ that is not sitting well with me. I briefly mentioned it a while back in passing, but I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit.

First of all, I’m going to state up front that I am glad my girl enjoys dressing up and wearing dresses and pink, and I think it is healthy to engage in ‘dress up’ play and using her imagination, and I want her to embrace true femininity. I like that she is girly. So, this is not going to be some feministic rant about boys and girls being the same or any such nonsense. Boys and girls are different, by God’s design they are different, and I celebrate this. I want my girl to embrace and celebrate who God has designed her to be, and I am not trying to squash her creative playfulness while she is little.

What I am seeing, however, is an extreme version of ‘girliness,’ that too much emphasizes glitter and glam, and what it boils down to, in my opinion, is teaching our little girls that they are so special that the world revolves around them and that they should get whatever they want right when they want it. We are teaching our girls to be so self-centered and spoiled that it turns my stomach. Too much focus on being a princess can be a bad thing, I think. Maybe what I’m saying is I want my girl to be a little more balanced. Much more important than being a princess, I want her to learn to be a girl who honors God.

For instance, it’s okay that pink is her favorite color, and I don’t mind dressing her in pink often, but when she pitches a fit on a given morning because I insist she wear an outfit that is perfectly nice and pretty but doesn’t happen to be pink, then we have a problem. I have a daughter who was born with a sin nature. What she needs is for me to be teaching her that showing disrespect to her mother by throwing a tantrum over little things is not honoring to God. She does not need me excusing her behavior by simpering and saying, “Oh, she’s just such a princess, such a girly-girl,” and then bowing to her whim. She does not need to be appeased, she needs to be taught to obey.

Because she is so interested in princessy things, I recorded the royal wedding yesterday and we enjoyed watching some of the highlights together. It was an absolutely beautiful wedding. She ooh-ed and ahhh-ed over how beautiful everything was, and then I sat her down and we talked about how being a girl who honors God is much more important than being a princess. A woman can be exquisite and classy and beautiful and all that, but if her heart doesn’t belong to Jesus, all the rest is empty. She will be five in a couple of weeks. I am quite sure she doesn’t yet understand what I’m getting at, but I pray that with careful training, she will, one day, understand. And I am realizing that I have not been diligent enough to be driving home the point that how beautiful she is inside is much, much, much more important than how pretty her hair or clothes are.

I have a daughter who is very strong-willed. This is a gift from God, I am convinced of it. But it is a challenge as a mom, I won’t lie. I have noticed recently that her extreme interest in girly-girl pinky princess things is leading to some things that I am realizing I must constantly and immediately address. She is very easily frustrated - typical for her age, but not something to be excused. Lately, when she doesn’t get what she wants or can’t find something she’s ‘needing’ right now, she immediately ratchets up to a screaming fit. I have been taking her aside, every single time, and sitting her down and telling her that her job right now is to obey her mother and father and to learn to be respectful of us and others. This is God’s command for children, to honor their parents. She needs to learn that the world does not revolve around her and to treat others as more important than herself. She needs to learn to ask, gently, for help rather than immediately screech because her will is thwarted. She does not need me to simper and say, “She’s such a little princess,” and excuse away selfish behavior.

Anyway, I was shopping for new Bibles for my kids the other day, and I ran across some Bibles and devotional books that are marketed to girls as princess Bibles and princess devotionals. I will admit to you that I am not a fan of audience-specific Bibles, anyway - youth, boy, girl, women’s, men’s, etc. - and we can discuss that at length another time perhaps. But as to the princess Bibles, I really do not think this is wise. Search Amazon for ‘Princess Bible’ and you’ll see some of what I’m talking about. I don’t doubt that some of the topics covered are probably good - hiding God’s word in our hearts, manners, etc. are all things little girls need encouragement to practice, no argument from me. But I’m not so sure that as Christians we really want to cash in on the princess mentality. (And ‘cash in’ was an intentional word choice.) There is something that, for me, is inherent with the princess mindset that is very self-centered and shallow. I think Disney’s Little Mermaid, Ariel, sums up the knee-jerk reaction I have to the ‘princess’ mindset.....she is spoiled, self-centered, disobeys the direct word of a father who loves her and wants her best, and gets everything she wants at great expense to others who are hurt directly because of her actions - and this is the ‘happily ever after’ ending we are conditioned to want for her.

I want more for my daughter than for her to be a princess. I want more for her than a focus on shallow, worldly, outward things. I want her to know that a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. I want her to know that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. I want her to understand biblical modesty, and that her true adornment is a heart that is seeking truly, diligently after God. I want purity and true beauty to be her passion. I want her to learn to love others and be interested in their needs and in caring for them. I want love for Christ to motivate her. I pray for her that she will understand that being a girl who honors God is so much better than being a princess. And I pray for wisdom to train her well in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And I pray that God, in His mercy, please draw her to Himself and that she will find her fulfillment, satisfaction, and beauty in loving and obeying and enjoying Him forever.

What's On Your Nightstand - April 2011

I use the “What’s On Your Nightstand” title because that is the name and theme of the blog carnival, but honestly, my books aren’t usually on my nightstand for very long. It is more like they are scattered throughout the house, or, more likely, following me around the house as I take them from room to room in the hopes I’ll have a moment here or there to stop and read. So I use ‘nightstand’ to really mean ‘stack of books I am currently reading at any given time.’

Since I don’t always remember to participate in the monthly posting of ‘What’s On My Nightstand,’ I also have a page you can visit where I’m keeping an ongoing list of books I’m reading. If you’re interested. Or care. On to the list for this month:

Recently finished:

The Crocodile Bird - Ruth Rendell. (F) I like Ruth Rendell, she’s one of my favorite authors, but probably isn’t for everyone. She is quite adept, somewhat frighteningly so in my opinion, at exploring obsession and sometimes even functional madness, or maybe just social dysfunction, in her characters.

Deliver Us From Evil - David Baldacci. (F) Another author I generally like.

Currently Reading:

The Bible (ESV) (NF)- I don’t usually list my Bible on here, though I could because I read it every day and it is the most important to me. I’m listing it today, though, because I bought my kids new Bibles for Easter this year when I found the ESV and the HCSB versions on sale at our local Lifeway store. My son had requested a new Bible a while back because he had been using an old one of mine that is falling apart, and he wanted an ESV. He’s been reading through the Bible on his own since January and it has been super cool to be able to ask him every so often, “So, where are you now?” and be able to talk about it with him. Way cool. Anyway, I bought myself an ESV also that is small and easy to carry to church. I am really enjoying reading through it in this translation, especially since it is the version I used to memorize Philippians.

The New Pilgrim’s Progress - by John Bunyan (with updated text by Judith E. Markham). (F) I’m reading a slightly adapted version that makes it a little more understandable for modern readers. I kind of got sidetracked from it when I went to the library and am now reading the next book I’ll list, so this one is a carryover from last month.

Sutter’s Cross - W. Dale Cramer. (F) I had read about this one on someone’s list recently of books that they had reviewed - I’m thinking it may have been at Discerning Reader, but I’m not quite sure now. Anyway, I’m not a huge fan of Christian fiction generally - we can discuss that another time perhaps - but I’m enjoying this book so far. Got it from our local public library, which has quite a few Christian fiction selections just there on the shelves with all the fiction, not separated out, which is kind of nice. I may stumble across more that I like if I’m not aware it is a genre book. :-)

Soul Depths and Soul Heights - Octavius Winslow. (NF) This is not a ‘sit down and read it quickly’ book, but I am appreciating it much as I work through it chapter by chapter and ponder. Good stuff.

Waiting in the Wings:

I find myself in the predicament in which I often find myself, having too many books to read and not enough time to get to them all. I have two books that will be next on my agenda once I finish what I’m already working on, and I’m anticipating both with joy.

Holiness (abridged) - J.C. Ryle (NF)

Slave - John MacArthur (NF)

Happy reading everyone! Check out the other lists at 5 Minutes for Books.

Resurrection Sunday

Jesus Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!

"Now when the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome brought spices, that they might come and anoint Him. Very early in the morning, on the first day of the week, they came to the tomb when the sun had risen. And they said among themselves, 'Who will roll away the stone from the door of the tomb for us?' But when they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away - for it was very large. And entering the tomb, they saw a young man clothed in a long white robe sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed.

But he said to them, 'Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He is risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid Him. But go, tell His disciples - and Peter - that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you." Mark 16:1-8

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence." Colossians 1:15-18

"And they sang a new song, saying:

'You are worthy to take the scroll,

And to open its seals;

For You were slain,

And have redeemed us to God by Your blood

Out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation,

And have made us kings and priests to our God;

And we shall reign on the earth.'" Revelation 5:9-10