Blogging Pitfalls

I’ll be coming up on the first anniversary of my blogging adventure near the end of October. Though it’s been almost a year, I still find that there are things about blogging I need to be on my guard about, and there are tons of technical things that are just beyond me, but that’s another post. This post is to address some thoughts I’ve been mulling over about my own blogging habits, particularly regarding commenting and reading comments.

I have read and been told that bloggers need to develop a thick skin. At first I bristled against that because it seemed to me that the people saying that were really just using it as an excuse to be able to be as caustic as they wanted in commenting. And you do see a lot of that in the blogosphere, due in great part, I think, to the anonymous, yet strangely intimate nature of blogging. Though most of us who have formed blogging relationships don’t actually know each other in “real life,” it is tempting sometimes to assume that we might have a closer friendship than is actually possible in this format. That’s a danger sometimes, and can lead to hurt feelings or misinterpretations because we all come into a blog with our own biases and presuppositions. A good thing to remember is that you only know what a blogger has chosen to write about himself or herself. You don’t know the whole person strictly from reading her blog. This has been dealt with before by many bloggers, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about again.

On the other hand, also due to the anonymous nature of blogging and the internet, there can be a tendency to forget that the bloggers we interact with are real people. There is a real person sitting at their computer keyboard typing those words we read. A real person, who takes seriously what they write and who has real feelings. It would be good to remember that when we are tempted to write a scathing response or a demeaning blog post about anyone. Because of the detached nature of blogging it’s easy to forget that we aren’t just screen names, but real people. I think a good rule of thumb is that if I wouldn’t say something to a person if I knew them face to face, I probably shouldn’t say it on a blog, either. I haven’t always been perfect at carrying out this rule of thumb, but I try to follow it. How we act matters. Though we may say things that are hard to hear at times, we can be civil in the way we say them, and I think we should aim for that, even in the somewhat detached world of the internet.

But, the thick skin caveat is valuable in protecting against something to which I am particularly susceptible. I tend to get a little defensive and even prickly over posts I write that deal with something close to my heart or that I’m am struggling to learn and take to heart. Because of this, at times I misinterpret comments and assume criticism when none was meant. This is a pitfall for me, and something I’m trying to guard against, but I do fall into it at times. I am trying to take to heart the teaching from 1 Corinthians 13 that love isn’t puffed up or easily provoked. That is something that I was convicted about some time back, that if I’m going to really learn to love people, I need to not always assume the worst, and learn to not let things get under my skin so easily, and to be able to graciously take criticism when needed. Though I believe this, there are lots of times I fail, and usually end up making a mess of things in the process.

I also deleted a few posts not too long ago. I realized that some of the issues I’m dealing with in my real life that are close to my heart and that I’m struggling in prayer over and trying to make wise decisions about are probably things best left off my blog. I started thinking especially about some things I had written that I would have been uncomfortable if someone from my “real, in person” life were reading. If what I’m writing is something I wouldn’t want to tell them or am not ready for them to know about, then the internet isn’t the place to hash out my thoughts on them. So, I searched the archives and took a few posts down.

I’m still growing as a blogger and as a woman who wants to honor Christ. I hope to continue to grow in grace and seek to honor Christ in how I interact with people, even on the internet. That’s one reason there are a lot of blogs I may read, but fewer that I’ll actually comment on. Some comment threads on a few I read can be rather lively and, while interesting to read, sometimes I think people on every side of the issues being discussed can get a little carried away, especially when the issues are near and dear to them, and once in a while things turn nasty. I’ve never really understood the degree of animosity that seems to accelerate on some comment threads I’ve read and how angry some people can be, but I do think a large reason for that is how limited blogging conversation actually is. Meeting face to face, some of the same discussions would be handled much differently than they are in cyberspace where it’s so much easier to flame out a response since you don’t really have to deal with the backlash of it as you would in person.

Besides that, there are days when I just spend too much time on the computer anyway. While I enjoy blogging and the edification I receive from many of the blogs I do read, I mustn’t let that take precious time away from the calling I have to be salt and light to my “real life” family and neighbors here where I am.