Do you ever have one of those moments when you come across something several times in a short period of time and then you sit up and start to take notice? I had one of those moments while reading the commentary part of my Bible study in Genesis this morning.
One day not too long ago my mom and I were talking about the things she is teaching her 4th, 5th and 6th grade Sunday school students. Somewhere in the course of that conversation she mentioned that over and over in the Bible when God called His prophets their response was, "Hineni!" I think she then mentioned that the intent of that word is "Here I am, I go!" as an emphatic response of obedience to God's call. We were talking about how when we are saved we are no longer our own, but we belong to Christ, and how our response to Him must be obedience. He is Lord. We must live like it when we profess faith in Him as Savior. Basically we were talking about Lordship salvation, and I told her that is exactly the point that John MacArthur is arguing in the book The Gospel According to Jesus, and that I do not see why this is considered a controversial subject by some. (By the way, it is so cool to have parents who talk about these kinds of things, and I'm extremely thankful and blessed by their willingness to discuss what the Lord is teaching them as they teach others.)
Anyway, today while reading the Bible study notes in review of last week's lesson, which was from Genesis 22:1-19 when God tests Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his son, Isaac, the lesson ended with a discussion of the Hebrew word that Abraham spoke in response to God's call to him to sacrifice his son: Hineni! It was pointed out that the translation of the word is, "Here I am," or, "I am ready," but that our simple translated words do not capture the depth of the Hebrew. Here is what the writer of the lesson said:
"The word implies a father/child relationship. The Father calls the child who is "fully present" when replying - no distractions of any sort: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. The child is fully open to the Father's commands, fully trusting that whatever the Father calls His child to do will bring glory to Him and spiritual satisfaction to the child."
While reading that and thinking about that word, Hineni! I got to thinking what a hypocrite I feel that I am so often. I got to thinking that I really want that to be my heart's cry, and how too often I am much too temporally minded and not thinking in that Hineni! kind of way. Even recently with this move, my attitude has far too often been focused on how I feel, how everything is affecting me, rather than learning to say, "Here I am, ready and willing to do what You ask of me, ready and willing to seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness, LORD." I want to learn to look at every single day and say, "What do You have for me to do today, Lord? May my words and actions bring glory to You! " So often I do not intentionally look at trials and daily things and look for what God is teaching me and how He is being glorified. Such a mindset would greatly help me to focus less on depression and more on Christ. More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee. I cry that often. Why is it so easy to get caught up in the tyranny of the daily small things and forget that even in those daily small things I need to have the ready response, "Hineni!"
I think too often I have this vague expectation of some big thing out there somewhere that may be asked of me, and I fail to see that I need to live a surrendered life here, now, in the everyday things of life. I want to persevere and live life intentionally. But so often I find myself muddling along and not even thinking about how awesome it is that I am bought with a price, my life is not my own, and that I get to live for Christ. Oh, that this would be my heart's desire, to say, "Hineni!" in the everyday things of life and to learn to see those ordinary things as vehicles for pointing to His glory. May I live a faithful life, in the small things as well as the big ones.