A Song to Make One Weep

The Curse of Dry Skin
(Sung to the tune of "The Sounds of Silence")

Hello lotion, my new friend
I’ve come to slather you again
Because my skin is cracked and peeling
From the dryness I am reeling
And the itching that is driving me insane
Will remain throughout the course of winter
Itchy skin causes me to twitch
Trying not to scratch the itch
I’ve clawed my skin until it bleeds
And still a scratch the itching needs
When my skin is burned by the cold of the chapping wind
That chills the night
And brings the need for dry heat
And in my house we have to run
The drying heater day and night
Scratching, scratching and there is no end
To the itching I can’t comprehend
Lotion, why can’t you make the crazy itching stop
And bring relief
From such dry and itching skin
“Arrgh,” said I, “You do not know
Alligator skin hurts so
Hear my pleas for soft and silky skin
Take my arms and ease the itch on them.”
Here’s a thought that I to you must tell:
Didn’t think I’d miss humidity
So I slather lotion on
And baby oil helps a little too
And the itching will subside in time
Patience is something I must try to find
And I try to
Think about something other than itching or I’ll climb the walls
Trying not to bawl
Over the curse of itching skin.


I told you in the title it would make you weep, didn't I? That was really bad. I'm sorry, but I just had to share. My sincere apologies to Simon and Garfunkel. I actually like their song, but it just fit so well when the idea hit me this morning in the shower......

Here is the real version of the song: