The Many Things I Do Not Know

P----O------P!!!!!!!

That was the sound of my head exploding. I cannot answer one more question today. I am not a walking encyclopedia of minutiae. Contrary to what a certain 8-year-old boy may wish me to be. Once again, I’m proving to be disappointingly short on answers. For some reason, a huge proportion of these kinds of conversations tend to take place while we are driving and I’m trying to divide my attention between the “island” drivers and my loquacious son.

“Mom, is it called Walt Disney World, or Disney World?”
“It doesn’t matter, J. You can call it either one.”
“But which one is it really?”
“Technically it’s Walt Disney World, but we all just call it Disney.”
"How come if it’s Walt Disney World you don’t call it that?”
“I don’t know…….”


“Who died first, Dr. Seuss or Walt Disney?”
“Walt Disney.”
“Did they live at the same time?”
“Yes, but Walt Disney died a long time ago, and Dr. Seuss died not all that long ago.”
“When did Dr. Seuss die?”
“I don’t really remember, but it was just a few years ago.”
“Wasn’t he 98 or something?”
"I don’t know, J. He was really old. I know that.”
“He was 100?”
“Did I say that? I don’t think I said that. I just said I know he was old.”
“How old was Walt Disney?”
“I have no idea.”
“When did he die? Were you alive?”
"J., I really do not know. I know Disney World opened the same year I was born, but I don’t know if he was still alive or not.”
“But….”
"J., I said I DON’T KNOW.”



“Mom?”
“Yes, J.”
“Why do they call it the Curse of King Tut’s Tomb?”
"Well, I think when they found the tomb and opened it some bad things happened around the same time and superstitious people thought there was a curse. But there’s no such thing as curses like that really.”
"What’s superstitious?”
"When people believe in things like luck or curses or things like that that aren’t really real.”
“What bad things happened?”
“I don’t really remember. I think I remember hearing that the man who financed, um…paid for the dig died soon after the tomb was opened and some other bad stuff happened, too, like someone got bit by a scorpion or something like that. I’m not really sure.”
“Did he die at the tomb?”
"I don’t really know that much about it, J.”
“How did he die?”
“Honey, I don’t know anything else about it. I think the book you’re reading will have that information.”
“Why do they have to pay for the dig?”
"Well, they have to pay the workers, for one thing. And for all I know they may have to pay for the right to dig there, too.”
"Do they speak English there?”
"Uh…they probably speak Arabic, but I’m sure some of them have learned English, too.”
“But how did he die?”
"J., go read your book…..”



“Which is more dangerous, a tiger shark or a great white shark?”
“I have absolutely no idea. I wouldn’t want to get close enough to either of them to find out.”
“But my shark book says they are both 4 dots, so they’re both dangerous, right?”
"Right.”
“But which one is more dangerous?”
“I said I don’t know, honey….”
"Where are tiger sharks?”
"Well, I think there may be some off the coast of Florida. I think so anyway. I saw some kids catch some kind of shark when we were at Sanibel once, but I might be wrong about what kind.”
“What about great whites?”
"Well, I know you hear about attacks around Australia sometimes, other than that, I don’t know.”
"But which one’s more dangerous?”
“Honey, I think I already told you I don’t know the answer to that. Asking again later in the same conversation won’t change the fact that I still don’t know…..”


I think my brain is imploding. I never knew just how much I didn’t know until J learned to talk……