Cleaning House

Not only are the kids home for spring break, necessitating some blogging slow down, but I seem to be in the midst of a terrible blog funk, too. I’ve been contemplating the delete button for my last post ever since I published it. It’s one of those TMI things, I think, written while feeling hyper emotional. But it’s true, and it’s already out there, so I guess it’s staying. This is my blog and my sort of journal of this stage of my life, even though I’m kind of cringing over that one.

So, anyway, I sat at the keyboard yesterday during a free moment and just stared at the screen trying to come up with something meaningful to write. Nothing. Just that thing I eventually posted which probably should have gone to my private journal, not online, and which I had actually written the day before.

Until this morning. Leave it to a bout of house cleaning (still in progress, by the way, just taking a break) to inspire some blog fodder for my brain.

Here are the thoughts rattling around in my brain this morning as I vacuumed. My house is pretty neat, on the surface. I manage to keep up with straightening up, dusting, vacuuming, wiping down bathrooms and counters, laundry, and surface cleaning pretty well. Just don’t look too closely. It’s that deeper cleaning that gets left out a lot. Like the baseboards – I was studying them this morning as I ran the vacuum by them. How in the world do they get so dirty? I’m finding fingerprints on all the walls, too, but those usually get wiped off in the surface cleaning. And don’t open drawers around here. Things too often just get stuffed into drawers and closets, so that once in a while I have to go through and deep clean/purge these areas. But, until that happens, it’s pretty easy to just shut the drawer or door and ignore the mess. Same with the boys’ bedroom; it is upstairs by itself, so at least I can just close the door and ignore the clutter until we can get to the deeper cleaning. Oh, and I’m amazed how quickly the dirt returns if I don’t keep on it consistently.

But now I have an 11 month old crawling around the whole house. No matter how clean the floor may look, her knees show up the dirt that’s actually there after a day of crawling all over the place. And her little fingers will pick up every single piece of grass or scrap of paper that ends up on the floor. And with two big brothers and a dog, there is always grass, dirt or something in the floor, no matter how hard I may try to keep it clean. But I can vacuum all day and not get that carpet clean in that deeper way that a good steam-cleaning will accomplish. I may get the surface dirt, but judging by Boo’s knees, it’s time for a good steam clean again.

I see a parallel in life here, too. How many people show up at church on Sunday all dressed up, smiling and pretty on the surface, checking the box (been to church this week!) while during the week the Bible stays on the shelf, or in the car, never opened, never read, not having any impact on their lives, and hardly any time is devoted to real prayer, as they just live any old way they please Monday-Saturday? Or, how about this one – how easy is it to sit behind my keyboard and type about how spiritual I am? It’s easy to put my best face forward here, but only I and God know what’s actually going on in my heart. My surface may look really good, but I want so much more to go deeper than just surface. I’m not saying I necessarily want to spill all my dirty laundry out here on the old blog for just anyone to read. But I do want to be sure to be aware that there is dirty laundry to be dealt with.

I want to do more than show up at church with my mask on or write nice things on my blog. I want to make sure I focus more time in prayer and Bible reading examining myself and allowing myself to be teachable when God highlights that dirt on my knees, so to speak, that is evidence that there are areas of my life I haven’t surrendered to Him. I don’t want to just shut the door and ignore the mess when I become aware of attitudes or sins in my life that are hindering my walk with Christ. I want to be willing to purge the things in my life that are ugly and sinful and learn to focus on whatever is true, noble, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy. And I want to live a life devoted to my Lord, so there will not be a need for a mask when I come to church and when I live in the world, but not of it. I don’t want to just be surface clean, but deep clean as well. I’m thankful that the Holy Spirit convicts me and changes my heart so that the things that dishonor Him are being purged and cleansed from my life. I want my life to reflect my profession of faith, for the glory of my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. He has forgiven me, reconciled me to God, and freed me to live for His glory. May I run this race well.

Psalm 51:2
“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.”