I’ve mentioned before that I still get nervous when I publish my posts. I have several posts sitting in my Word draft folder right now that, for various reasons, I haven’t yet felt comfortable posting. Most of them will probably never see the Blogger publish page.
One reason for this is that I want to make sure what I say isn’t too personal. This blog is a personal journal of sorts, but it is also out there on the web. Much as I like sharing, I also know that once I’ve published, I can’t really delete it. At least not completely. Sometimes I write a post and later on think maybe I shouldn’t have shared quite so much. I’m pretty transparent on my blog, but you all don’t need to know everything! And, unfortunately, there are security issues to think of as well, much as I hate that. And I also don't want to try to be something I am not in my writing. As much as I would just love to be one of those hysterically funny bloggers, that's just not me, and though I may have something funny to share once in a while, I'm usually more on the serious or thoughtful side. So, I usually stew over a post for a while before I decide it can go out on the blog.
Another reason is that I want to be sure that what I write is accurate and honoring to God. So many times I write things I know are doctrinally okay, but I feel like such a hypocrite because I know that I’m no where near living out what I know is true the way I want to be. I am growing in grace, but I sure haven’t “arrived.” Does anyone else feel this way? I love to write about the truths of the faith, but sometimes I feel so unworthy to do so because I just have such a long way to go in being consistently faithful. I know the right thing to do often, but doing it doesn’t come naturally, and far too often I don’t flesh out the doctrine I know and believe in my day to day real life. I feel dirty and soiled and tired at times. I write about faith and truly believe what I write, but find myself slogging along in real life not always living out what I know is true. So often the ugly flesh rears up its head and I find myself yelling at the kids rather than speaking kindly, or talking in a sarcastic, snippy way rather than just answering a child’s honest question – albeit asked for the umpteen thousandth time - or find myself wallowing in blue fogs, or even struggling to sit still and read my Bible and pray, and knowing that I pray far too little and blog far too much. And at times like this, I look back at things on my blog and think, “Who in the world do I think I am writing these things?” But, as I’ve said before, we write and speak what we know is true and we pray for the grace and wisdom to live them. I pray often for God to continue to change my heart from one of selfishness to one that seeks His glory. And I am extremely grateful for God’s great mercy and forgiveness.
Nathan Busenitz is in the midst of an excellent series at Pulpit Magazine that anyone who spends time reading, writing and commenting on blogs really ought to read. Much of what he says are things I’m trying to practice as well, and I’m grateful for the things he’s listed as things we Christian bloggers should think about when hitting the submit button. I especially think his first bit of advice to have our quiet time first before entering the Web is excellent advice – this is something I have tried in the past few months to really practice, and I’m glad to see him mention it. And he also offers the extremely helpful advice to think and even sleep on a thought before posting, even if it means being late to a conversation or not even entering it at all. Excellent advice. Read these here, here and here if you haven’t already, and have a great Friday!
1 comment:
Rebekah you said: “So many times I write things I know are doctrinally okay, but I feel like such a hypocrite because I know that I’m no where near living out what I know is true the way I want to be. I am growing in grace, but I sure haven’t “arrived.” Does anyone else feel this way?
Yes, yes, yes, I feel this way. I love to study God’s word and share with other likeminded women about the Lord. But so often find myself personally falling short of the very spiritual things that excite and motivate my desire to blog. I believe we MUST be guarded about how much personal stuff we share, yet balance that with honesty and transparency so that others might be encouraged. I have questioned my level of transparency in many of my post but so often it’s pride, not wanting to come off as some weak minded undisciplined woman, yet I have my struggles as we all do. I hope that somehow Christ will be honored by what I write. Thank you for your post it was very encouraging to me. Blessings, Terri
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