Confessing Faults

James 5:16
“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

The challenge Tim Challies gave us to write out our testimonies has really gotten me thinking this week, apparently, since this is the third post I’ve written as a result of it. I actually had some other things I had planned to share this week, but I've saved them for later. Yesterday I wrote about a danger we need to guard against for children growing up in the church. Another danger to guard against that I’ve noticed in my own life is pride and complacency. These are painful to share, for they are true. The prayer at the end is truly my prayer. But I’m writing to hold myself accountable and because this is my testimony, too. I also know that certain of my readers (you know who you are) pray for me and I pray for them, because we have said we would. This is my testimony that God is still working in me and pruning me, and I’m so thankful He is, for as He works in me and convicts me of sin and grants me the faith to overcome it, He is making me more like Christ, and that’s my desire.

Having grown up in the church and, thankfully, through God’s protection, never really rebelled or wanted to walk away from the faith, I have had a fairly sheltered life. It is so easy to get comfortable in my Christian home, at my Christian church with my Christian friends and forget that my neighbors and people all around me are living and dying with no hope.

It is also very, very tempting to sit back, relax, and think, “Well, my doctrine is strong. I’ve learned so much.” Pat, pat, pat on the back. And with that, it’s so easy to begin thinking that I am so smart to figure all this out, rather than remembering that it is only, only, only by the working of the Holy Spirit in me that I have any understanding at all. And if I believe correctly, I ought to be living it out, too. It isn’t enough to think right, but that thinking needs to spill over into all I do and say as well.

It is also tempting to fall into the trap of being complacent where I am right now. I mean, thinking that I’ve “arrived” and am no longer needing to deal with any more sin in my life. Boy, that would be WRONG thinking. But, it’s tempting at times. It's also directly opposed to having a teachable spirit, which I really want to have. I pray God will keep me sensitive to His Spirit as I read His Word, and that I will recognize where my life isn't lining up with scripture.

It is also very tempting when I see or hear error to get all indignant and speak big words on my blog and rant and rave to others about all I see that is wrong with the church and all I see that is wrong “out there.” And it’s tempting to get angry at people who are getting caught up in wrong teaching when what I should be doing is praying for them to understand the truth and being willing to gently and lovingly correct or help when it is someone that I have any friendship or influence with. And what I should be doing is writing and speaking about the Truth, for that is the antidote to error. I do appreciate knowing about the heresy that is flooding our churches today, but I want my attitude in confronting when necessary to be right. I also want to know and write about the Truth in such a way that it will not be hard to recognize error for what it is and learn to steer away from wrong, misguided, evil teaching and run straight to God's Word.

And in all of that, it is so very tempting to turn a blind eye to what is wrong in my own attitudes. It is so very tempting to ignore my blasé lack of concern for my neighbors, and the families at my kids’ school, and the people I meet around town. It is so very tempting to ignore the fact that one of my biggest stumbling blocks is how selfish I tend to be - still - rather than be on my knees about it daily, seeking God’s direction in how to get out of my little shell and to better see the people around me and recognize how I can be a better servant to Jesus in how I’m living day to day.

I’m thinking now of the coming weekend and how precious it is. Jesus never lost sight of why He came, and He never, ever wavered in His purpose to glorify the Father. He came to set the prisoners free. The prisoners who were trapped and lost in sin. He cared so much about our plight that He left His throne in glory and became flesh, walked sinlessly among us, and died for us.

Oh, Lord, may I begin to see what You want me to see. Please change my selfish heart to one of compassion for the lost. Open my eyes and my heart and help me to demonstrate that I care about the people around me. Open my mouth and help me not to stay silent. Help me not to be a hermit – I pray this so often! My natural tendency is to be a homebody, and to be quiet. I have a hard time even talking to people I don’t know, much less learning to be a good friend and getting to know them well enough to talk about important things from a heart that really cares for them. Please help me to know how to really be a friend and care deeply. Lord, it is so easy to sit behind a keyboard and type these words, but so very, very hard to get up and go “out there” and live them. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Help me to purpose in my heart to serve You obediently, and let me do it with abandon. Please guard my heart against foolish pride, for I have nothing in myself to be proud of. May I boast in You, Lord, for Your glory alone. May I learn to be a real friend to whomever You place in my life, and let my love for You spill over into my speech and actions. Love through me, Lord Jesus. Love my husband, my children, my neighbors and anyone else You lead me to through me. Grant me the heart to obey You and to love others. Thank You for loving me so much You died for me and made me whole. Amen.