Monday, September 28, 2026

Why Aren't We Singing?

 

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

 My husband and I find ourselves in a season of searching for a new church home. This is not a decision we’ve come to lightly or flippantly, but it is, we are firmly convinced, a decision that is necessary for our spiritual health and something we’ve been struggling and praying over for the past year and a half. I have to be honest and say I’m feeling a little bit wandering in the desert when it comes to looking for a new church home, though after the church we’ve visited the past two weeks I am feeling much more hopeful than I have in a long time.

 Anyway, I have something I’ve been pondering blogging about for a while now, and this seems as good a time as any to hash it out. Having moved as often as we have over the years, and now having adult kids in various places of the country who are members of their own churches, we’ve been members of and visited a lot of churches over the years.  Something I’m noticing, and this is totally not unique to me as I have seen countless blog posts and articles discussing it as well, is that people in many of the congregations we’ve seen do not sing, or at least, do not sing enthusiastically. I’m wondering why that is. I’ve said often how much I miss singing in choir, and people will sometimes say, “Oh you could join this community group, or that women’s chorus.” But it isn’t so much the fact of singing in choir in and of itself that I miss. What I miss is, for example, what we had at Immanuel Bible Church in Springfield, VA, where the choir and musicians sang and played with worshipful excellence, AND the congregation was singing with joy and enthusiastically with us. Seeing and hearing the gathered local body of Christ joining their voices in singing rich doctrine and doxology together is a foretaste of Heaven. THAT is what I mean when I say I miss singing in choir.

 This is purely anecdotal based on our experience, but from what I’m observing, the congregations that tend more to sing out and energetically and from the heart are those whose music leaders bring doctrinally rich songs to sing, and the people tend to have a hunger for and high view of God's word. My son’s church has been taught by their elders that the church members sing to the Lord and also to each other, that we teach and encourage each other by singing these songs together. I will confess there are a few people in his church who take that “singing to each other” exhortation a bit too literally for this introvert when they turn around and sing right at me, but I’ll take erring on that side over not singing or only being offered shallow, repetitive heavy-on-emotion-but-not-nearly-heavy-enough-on-theology songs. This is not a preference issue. It’s a why-do-we-do-this-thing issue for me.

 If you’ve been in the church as long as I have, you’ll remember the so-called worship wars of the 1980’s and 1990’s, where congregations debated traditional versus contemporary when it came to music. Friends, in my opinion that was the wrong argument. I really, really, really, disagree with having two different services, one for ‘traditional’ and one for ‘contemporary.’ Again, this is missing the point. The longer I think about this and the more churches I get to visit or join, the more I think the real issue is deep versus shallow. I am convinced that songs that are mostly trying to gin up our emotions are, again, missing the point. I know from my own experience that songs that have words that tell me who Jesus is, what He has done for us, how holy God is, with biblically based and rich doctrinal teaching within the song will bring out emotions as I ponder those deep and rich truths MUCH more than a repetitive chorus of a few words telling everyone I just really, really, really love Jesus. As Alistair Begg once said in a sermon about worship and this type of thing, “Don’t ask me how I feel! Ask me what I know!” Amen and amen.

 It’s not that the shallower songs are heretical or anything, they are fine, they are just….kind of empty. And it’s not like there are not people writing good, rich, theologically thoughtful songs that have tunes that are accessible to modern hearers and singers. There are! But, friends, do you know how discouraging it is when your music director tells you he would love it if you’d shoot some song ideas his way, but when you do you get told, “Well, we don’t want to be known as a Getty’s church.” True story. I can think of worse things to be called, truth be told. What I’m finding discouraging, as someone who really does love to sing, is how many churches we’ve visited that are pretty healthy, doctrinally sound in Biblical teaching, but seem unaware that there are people like the Gettys, CityAlight, Matt Papa, Matt Boswell, Sovereign Grace, to name just a few who I believe are real gifts to the church and are writing music that does both - lift our intellect and mind up with rich truth and our emotions with modern and accessible music that matches the reverence of the words. Why don’t more of the churches in our area incorporate them more often? What I’m trying to say is that doctrinally rich lyrics are a beautiful complement to the preached word, and I wish they were present more often, and we would do well to encourage the depth such singing and lyrics bring to the worship service and what reverence they inpire in the worshipers. The kind of depth that helps build roots that go deep enough to not be touched by the frost when we go about our week. I’m not going to be that person who joins a church and begins complaining. No, once we find our new church home, we will submit and love that church...and sing. But I do find myself on Monday morning, pulling out my playlist and filling up on richer music.

This is just where I am today. Hopefully it’s ok to think out loud a little bit.

 Here’s what I’ve had on repeat today on this Monday:



Sunday, April 12, 2026

Precious Music

A bit of friendly, unsolicited advice for new moms and dads: 

Fill your homes and cars with singable music. Trust me, it will bless you now, and continue to bless you in years to come.

One of my favorite precious memories is how my little middle boy would sing out this song from the back of the car in his car seat, precious toddler slightly-offkey voice praising God. Whenever this song comes on my playlist today, I feel the same joy I felt then, and it keeps close how much I’ve loved being his mom through all the stages of his life, and helps me remember the ‘little years’ and keep them close in my pondering nostalgia, too, even as I am filled with wonder to watch him as a new dad with his own little one.

 

Another precious memory is as a brand new mom with our first born son, you know how in those early first few months you can be so tired and the middle of the night wakenings can be so exhausting, but I remember rocking my sweet boy, too tired or emotional to know how or what to pray in those early morning hours, and singing the first hymn that would come to mind, which for some reason was very often, “There is a Fountain.” I remember so many nights singing, sometime though tears, loving my little newborn. Well, many years later, when this little guy was no longer little, but taller than me and standing next to me in church  as a teenager, and we sang this song and he turned to me and said, “I love this song.” That filled my heart, this song, whether he consciously remembered it or not, had been planted into him and it was good.

And then there’s our youngest, our daughter, who when she was little loved to twirl and dance to whatever praise music I had on at any given moment. Music has been a sweet part of our lives.

 So, young moms and dads, sing. Fill your homes with song. When you feel like it, and especially when you don’t. It’s sweet in the moment, and it will turn your heart to Jesus when you need Him so much, and it will fill your heart in years to come when you remember those sweet days fondly. I cherish the memories and sometimes miss my days of parenting little ones, even as I’m so incredibly thankful I get to be part of their lives as they blossom into the precious adults God is molding them to be, and how excited I am to get to be Grammy to this new little one, and those who will one day come into our family. What an amazing gift it is to be mom to these incredible people.

Thursday, January 08, 2026

Annual Books Read List - 2025

 These are the books I read in 2025. As always, being on the list doesn't mean I necessarily endorse a book, just that I read it. Some I commented on, many I didn't.  Here's the list:

January 2025
  • Cultural Sanctification: Engaging the World like the Early Church - Stephen O. Presley (NF).
  • Holier Than Thou: How God's Holiness Helps Us Trust Him - Jackie Hill Perry (NF).
  • Women and God: Hard Questions, Beautiful Truth - Kathleen B. Nielson (NF).
February 2025
  • Wind and Truth (The Stormlight Archive, Book #5) - Brandon Sanderson (F). The much anticipated last in this five book series. I enjoyed it, but not as much as the earlier books. I have enjoyed reading Sanderson's wider Cosmere books, but I find I'm growing a little tired of them. This may be my last one, but we will see.
  • The Mythmakers: The Remarkable Fellowship of C.S. Lewis and J.R R. Tolkien - John Hendrix (NF).  I loved this book! Just really beautifully done. 
  • Broken Bayou - Jennifer Moorhead (F).
  • Happy Lies: How a Movement You (Probably) Never Heard of Shaped Our Self-Obsessed World - Melissa Dougherty (NF).
  • The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife - Anna Johnston (F).
  • The Killing Plains - Sherry Rankin (F).  This one was ok.  I enjoyed it enough to finish it, but it followed the formulaic pattern closely enough I had figured out who the murderer was and the motive well before the end. 
  • The Storied Life: Christian Writing as Art and Worship - Jared C. Wilson (NF).  One of my favorite books so far this year. This book about writing is so beautifully written, I found myself experiencing "that stab of joy" over and over again as I highlighted and devoured the language. It makes me want to pick up my pen again and start writing.  I had lost my joy for it for a long time, but maybe it's time to try again.
March 2025
  • Otherworld - Jared C. Wilson (F).
  • You Shall Be as Gods: Pagans, Progressives, and the Rise of the Woke Gnostic Left - Erick Erickson (NF).
  • Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (F).
  • Till We Have Faces - C.S. Lewis (F).
April 2025
  • Revering God: How to Marvel at Your Maker - Thaddeus Williams (NF).
  • Gather: Loving Your Church as You Celebrate Christ Together - Tony Merida (NF).
  • Still Life (Chief Inspector Gamache Mystery, Book 1) - Louise Penny (F). I enjoyed this and look forward to reading more of the series.
  • House of Chains (Malazan Book of the Fallen, Book 4) - Steven Erikson (F).
May 2025
  • Sunrise on the Reaping - Suzanne Collins (F). Liked this one very much. 
  • Theo of Golden - Allen Levi (F). This is one of those books I just needed to sit quietly and let sink in as I read the last sentence. Absolutely beautiful.  My favorite fiction book I've read so far this year, maybe in a long time.  I kept thinking my mother would have liked this book I think. Beauty, kindness, love, joy, sorrow, such an encouragement to truly see people as image bearers of God and be kind and generous and gentle with everyone we meet, and while the story is beautiful, the book is beautifully written, as well.  I loved this treasure so much.  
  • Sighing on Sunday: 40 Meditations for When Church Hurts - Megan Hill (NF).
  • My Friends - Fredrik Backman (F). This newest book from one of my favorite authors did not disappoint.  I've liked every one of his books that I've read, and this one was every bit as beautiful, heartbreaking, and satisfying as the others.  
  • My Brilliant Friend (L'amica geniale #1) - Elena Ferrante, Ann Goldstein (Translator) (F). I enjoyed this and am looking forward to reading the next book in the series. I found this through my daughter, who is taking Italian at college, and glad I was introduced to this book. 
  • Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection - Charles Duhigg (F). Some of this book I really liked very much and appreciate much of what is discussed.  Very helpful, I thought.  Some blind spots I didn't appreciate as much in the final chapter, but too involved to discuss in a brief mention here. Overall, quite a helpful book and I would recommend it. 
June 2025
  • The Three-Body Problem - Liu Cixin, Translated by Ken Liu (F). One of the weirder, more disturbing books I've read. It was very interesting, and well-written, but I don't think I am feeling it enough to go on with the rest of the series. I'll leave that decision open for now, but as I finish, I'm not so sure I want to read on.
  • Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow - Gabrielle Zevin (F).
  • Big Dumb Eyes: Stories From a Simpler Mind - Nate Bargatze (NF).
  • The Story of a New Name (L'amica geniale #2) - Elena Ferrante, Ann Goldstein (Translator) (F).
  • Original Sin: President Biden's Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again - Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson (NF). 
July 2025
  • The Forgotten Garden - Kate Morton (F).
  • The Emperor of Gladness - Ocean Vuong (F).
  • The Light in Our Eyes: Rediscovering the Love, Beauty, and Freedom of Jesus in an Age of Disillusionment - Nicholas McDonald (NF).
August 2025
  • The Character of Christ: The Fruit of the Spirit in the Life of Our Saviour - Jonathan Landry Cruse (NF)
  • Midnight Tides (Malazan Book of the Fallen, #5) - Steven Erikson (F).
  • The Lost Bookshop - Evie Woods (F).
September 2025
  • Reckoning Hour - Peter O'Mahoney (F). Meh.  This very much needed tighter editing.  Grammar issues drove me nuts, making me want to throw my Kindle across the room at times.  Example: ...."shook hands with Bruce and I."  Would you say "He shook hands with I?" No, you would say, "with me," therefore, should be "Bruce and me."  This was not a one off in this book.  At least it was a consistent error.  The story was ok, but I can't say I'll remember it, and it was quite predictable, and the characters were not people I cared much about. Also, the preachy social justice type comments felt forced and came out of the blue from a character that prior to the comments did not seem at all the type of person to say them.  It really just felt like they were added because it needed to be there somehow, and it didn't feel like a natural conversation. And the main character grew up in Beaufort then moved away up north and was coming home, yet throughout was treated as if he were the big city guy who had no understanding of life in the south.  Just didn't sit right with me. So, it was ok enough to finish, but not a recommended read. Also took me way too long to finish because of how I wasn't loving it. 
  • The Scandal of a Divine Messiah: A Response to Maimonidean and Kabbalistic Challenges to the Incarnation - Brian J. Crawford (NF).
October 2025
  • Wild Dark Shore - Charlotte McConaghy (F).
  • Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers - Dane C. Ortlund (NF). I loved this.
  • The Impossible Fortune (The Thursday Murder Club, #5) - Richard Osman (F).  I enjoy this series.
  • Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons: A Calvin and Hobbes Collection - Bill Watterson (F).  Ok, it is a little, no, a lot, goofy to add this to my reading list, but there is a reason to my madness. My Kindle app has quarterly challenges, and one of the mystery accomplishments for this quarter was to read a Kindle graphic novel.  I am not a graphic novel loving person, and literally, I am not kidding, the only listing on the book browser it gave me that I felt any desire whatsoever to read was this one, so I thought why not. I love Calvin and Hobbes and this was a nice reminder how much I used to enjoy these cartoons.  However, I did NOT enjoy reading them on the Kindle.  Some things just need the paper book. I just might go and dig up my old Calvin and Hobbes books and read some more for fun, but I won't be listing them on my book list again. I only list this one because, since it was on my Kindle, it automatically got added to my Goodreads and to my Kindle reading challenge.  Now I have to go at least one over on my goal because, while Kindle and Goodreads are counting this one as a book read, I am not. Different kind of reading. Not bad, totally worth reading, but not what I consider counting towards a reading goal. Anyway, I am well on track for this year's goal, so it doesn't matter anyway. 
  • Tuck Everlasting - Natalie Babbitt (F).
  • The Lord of Psalm 23: Jesus Our Shepherd, Companion, and Host - David Gibson (NF).  I loved this book.  Beautiful teaching on the riches of this Psalm and it has given me so much to meditate on this week.  Highly recommend. 
  • The Peacemaker - Ken Sande (NF).
November 2025
  • Blessed: Experiencing the Promise of the Book of Revelation - Nancy Guthrie (NF). Love this!!
December 2025
  • The Widow - John Grisham (F). Typical Grisham, and I enjoyed it.