The Memory of a Smile

One of the most perfect movie moments I’ve ever seen is near the end of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King when Frodo boards the ship to sail to the Gray Havens after his tearful farewell with Merry, Pippin, and most of all, Sam.  That moment when he pauses and then he turns and smiles at them and his face is truly happy and he all of sudden has color in his cheeks and you realize that you hadn’t noticed how pale and sad and wan he had become and how tinged with sadness and weariness his smiles had been until right at that moment when he suddenly looks like the sweet, carefree Frodo he had been at the beginning, and you sigh as the tears are streaming and think, “Oh. He’s whole again.”

This evening I was making grilled cheese sandwiches and thinking about my mom, specifically thinking about one of the last times I saw her and how she smiled at me while I was making a grilled cheese sandwich for her when she asked for one after she came home from the hospital when we were there in January. Grief is a strange thing, how it hits at unexpected times, but tonight I got to thinking about that scene from The Lord of the Rings and how sweet that unguarded, loving smile from my mom was, and how sick she actually was then and how sick and exhausted she’d really been for a long time even though we didn't realize it and she faithfully kept on and kept on, and I thought how if I were to be able to see her today and she were to smile at me, she would be whole in a way I’ve never known her. 

I know Tolkien didn't mean The Lord of the Rings to be an allegory or anything, but I think that scene and how Peter Jackson chose to portray it in the movie perfectly captures the emotions surrounding the death of the believer in Christ. There is the grief those who are left behind feel so tangibly, there is the sadness the one who is dying feels at leaving, yet there is that sense of relief and joy and wholeness in knowing they go to be with the Lord and enter into a joy that this world can only hint at. And there is also that sense of letting go and moving forward for those who now have to live with the grief of the separation from their loved one and that emptiness we feel when we miss seeing their smile, but also to live the life we still have to live and to live it in joy, even while we often ache with the missing of our loved one and are so often reminded by little things - even things as ordinary and simple as a grilled cheese sandwich.   

I'm Thinking Our Family is Going to Sit These Movies Out

There is always so much buzz when a movie that seems positive to the Christian worldview comes along. There are several out or coming out recently that I wish I could have supported, but I've come to the conclusion that as for me and my house, we're going to pass on them. I'm really not trying to make anyone angry or to be a jerk, but I find myself perplexed, and at the risk of being thought a curmudgeon or worse, I'm sharing this post. I always feel like I'm so out of step with pretty much, well, everyone, and I almost didn't even post this, but here are three movies that I'm hearing from lots of people that they are just awesome and we just have to see them but that I am not planning to see or take my kids to see. I'm not dictating to anyone else what you should or shouldn't do regarding watching these, so see them and like them or not if you wish, but please at least be discerning about them and understand what some concerns with them are, and at least understand why I can't join you and why I'm not joining in with the celebration of them on Facebook and elsewhere. The first two fall into the category of I wish they had been something I could have supported but I just really can't and don't, the third falls into the category of I thought the book was concerning and disturbing, so I sure am not going to support the movie.

1. Son of God….based on the miniseries that I also couldn't, in good conscience, watch. Putting aside for a moment that I am squeamish about Passion Plays and movies like this anyway ever since many years ago I had to start sitting out of certain choir Easter productions because for months afterward I would see the actor who portrayed Jesus in my head when I prayed and that just was not something I wanted and because there were always things I found problematic in our portrayals which is probably something for another post and beyond what I want to delve into here, there are even graver reasons I don't want to watch this one. I'm linking to some reviews, and they spell out why I don't want to see this thing. Please, why is God's Word not enough for us? Why do we feel we need a movie? Why are we not satisfied that God gave us the information He wanted us to have in the way He wanted us to have it through His word? I felt the same way about The Passion of the Christ, and I chose not to see that one, either. Even though at the time we were being told we'd never really understand the crucifixion if we didn't. Really? And I sure don't want to fill my head with an anemic portrayal of Jesus that misses the mark of the gospel, so I sat this one out.

Answers in Genesis' review
"Writing Checks to Mel Gibson"
"Son of God Will Show Crucifixion, Not the Cross"
Movie Review: 'Son of God' Is Most Certainly Not The Son of God

2. God's Not Dead…..When I saw the trailer months ago, I so much hoped this would be one I could support, though I have to confess that even then I didn't hold my breath and didn't join the band wagon of linking to the trailer, since I couldn't endorse something like this without knowing more about it. Now that I've read some reviews, I'm glad I waited. I'm not saying it's wrong to go see it if you want to, but I am saying I think we will pass and just sit it out, and the more reviews I read, the stronger I am in that decision. I don't think I will be taking my kids to it right away. I guess with this one, I might not put my foot down and say they can't see it, but I don't believe we'll go out of our way to, either, and we'd have to have some discussions about what they see. Wish they had done better. I really, really do.

God's Not Dead Review: A 'feel-good' movie that sadly did not make us feel good at all!
God's Not Dead Movie Review (Answers in Genesis)
God's Not Dead…But Christian Films are on Life Support - Movie Review
God's Not Dead but Christian Screen Writing Is

3. Heaven is For Real…..No. Just no. Not going to this one and really do not understand why this book is all over our Christian bookstore in various formats. I'm sharing reviews of the book, which should be enough reason to know why we will not even attempt the movie. (And for good measure I'm also sharing a review of a similar journey to Heaven book that I did read and was very concerned at how popular it had become also).

Heaven is For Real - Book review by Tim Challies
90 Minutes in Heaven - Book review by Tim Challies
Heaven Tourism
Books I recommend: Heaven Tourism - Tim Challies

This blog is, obviously, me sharing my opinions. I'm not looking for an argument or a fight, but I'm just sharing what I honestly think here. I really do think that movies like these can actually be more detrimental to the sharing and understanding of our faith than others that are more obviously not biblical, like, say, the awful Noah movie that is coming out soon. We aren't going to that one, either, emphatically not, but at least the director is honest enough to say it's not even meant to be biblical in its portrayal. I'm more concerned, however, with movies that intend to be 'Christian' but which do not present the gospel correctly. In my opinion, that is more damaging than watching a secular movie that we don't expect to get spiritual things right. So, that's why I shared this. Like it or not, this is where I've come to in my thinking on these movies. It's not that I want to be hyper critical. I really don't. I would love to like and support movies that are done well from a Christian perspective. Really, I would. Problem is, I just can't with these. It's the same problem I have with a lot, not all, but a lot of Christian fiction I've come across. It's often hard to do Christian fiction well. I understand that. But I have qualms about these movies and that's just how it is. Do with them whatever you will.

A Couple of Things I've Realized This Winter:

1.) After a few days of arctic temperatures (I’m talking about 0˚ and -20˚ windchill type of cold), It is amazing to me how much warmer 28˚ can feel on this side of that kind of arctic cold. I mean, when I walked my dog yesterday, I could still feel my legs and my face didn’t feel like it had frozen off after the first 5 minutes. That was a definite improvement from those arcticly cold days that kept us all indoors and out of school earlier this week. It’s all about perspective.

2.) I’ve also realized that I’ve become a bona fide germaphobe. I was always partially there, but over the Christmas break my husband inflicted the movie Contagion upon me, and I do not think I will ever recover from it. Don’t get me wrong, it was fascinating to watch and think about how the various organizations go about defining and investigating and handling a disease epidemic. But for suggestible types like me, the discussion about how often people touch their faces with their hands and then touch other things, for instance, gave me the heebie jeebies and I will never get over it. It was a true study in how germs are spread, and let me just say, I am scarred, I tell you. I had to go to the post office today, and as I approached that door, the thought crossed my mind that no-telling how many people, and what unknown percentage of those might, just might, have been flu-or-worse infected at that, had touched that door, or worse, had wiped their nose and then touched that door. So, I did what any right-thinking germaphobe might and I pulled my jacket sleeve over my hand and pushed the door with my arm, carefully not putting my hand on the door. Then I promptly forgot as I walked back out and as soon as my hand hit that door, the thought came, “How many flu people might have touched that and now your hand has touched it. Infected! Ah, and now you touched your keys with that hand. AHHHHHHH!” So, the less crazy part of me was not worrying, while the part of me that will never, and I mean never, forget that stupid movie, remembered the Wet Wipes in the car, and proceeded to wipe down my hands and my keys and even the steering wheel for good measure. The rational side of my brain was sarcastically saying, “Won’t be long before you’re like Monk and yelling, ‘Wipe! Wipe!’ every time you feel that germy feeling,” while the crazier side of my brain was saying, “At least I had wipes to deal with this emergency!”

Clearly I have a problem.

My Thoughts Upon Watching Another Classic Movie

So, we watched Dr. Zhivago a couple of evenings this week (that thing is loooong, took us more than one night to finish it). We’ve been watching some classics recently – some we had never seen or seen so long ago we couldn’t remember them, and Drew brought this home for us since he’d never seen it. I remember watching it once as a young girl, but didn’t remember a whole lot of it, so it was fun to watch it with Drew.

I mentioned on Facebook the other day that I often find when I watch movies that are talked about as great movies or that are still popular today and show up on a lot of people's favorite lists, often I don’t get why they are considered classics. Citizen Kane was one of those for me. At the end of that one Drew and I looked at each other and said, “That was it? Big deal.” I know it’s famous for some new directorial things or whatever, but, still, I don’t get it. I also don’t get the big deal about The Graduate (sorry, Dad.). The music in that one is great, the movie, I didn’t so much like. Maybe I need to watch it again now that I'm grown up? The reason I was saying anything about it on Facebook was because we had just watched Rebel Without a Cause. (I almost typed without a Clue…..) I was not impressed. At all. Another one where we looked at each other and said, “That was it?” Cheesy music, cheesy acting, story line and dialogue I had trouble buying into. I’m thinking that one is popular because James Dean died shortly after it was released.

So, I guess I am old movie challenged. There are some I have loved, so I’m not all that bad. The African Queen comes to mind, as do many of the Alfred Hitchcock movies and Casablanca and Ben Hur so my taste isn’t totally ruined, I guess.

Anyway, unlike Rebel Without a Cause, I do see why Dr. Zhivago has staying power and is considered a classic. Better acting, MUCH better music (though we were both REALLY tired of Lara’s Theme by the end), great and memorable sets and filming, and a sweeping story set against a dramatic historical backdrop. I don’t know a whole lot about the Russian Revolution, so that is interesting to me.

However, as supposedly one of the best love stories of all time, I have something against it. I just didn’t get what was so great about Lara that he was willing to risk losing everything to be with her. And he did lose everything. He wasn’t even unhappy in his marriage. I’m not sure he married his wife because he was madly in love with her, more that it seemed to be the expected thing and he was the kind of guy who did what was expected of him. But he DID marry her and had a child with her and another on the way. She loved him and was faithful to him and was a good wife. We’re supposed to see him as noble, if a bit naive, and a likable character, and I did like him right up until the point where he cheats on his very pregnant, very faithful wife. Prior to that, Drew and I were speculating that maybe she would die in childbirth and that was how he ended up with Lara, and we kept thinking he seemed too honorable to actually cheat on his wife. But nope. So, I had a hard time being very moved by this grand love affair thing. I kept wanting him to do the right thing. (Unimportant and unnecessary aside: Of course he picks the blond-haired, blue-eyed woman over his beautiful brunette wife. Said bitterly by the brunette writing this post.)

Even in the end, he didn’t even really love Lara, because he didn’t go after her. He just let her go off with that horrid man, and, as far as we the viewers know, didn’t even bother to try to find out whatever happened to her. Blech.

I’m thinking the book is probably better. If I ever get around to reading it, I am sure there is more characterization and detail than the movie is able to provide, and it might make more sense. Then again, I’m not sure I really care all that much. But at least I do see why this movie has staying power. I actually cared enough about the characters and story to be bothered by it enough to write a blog post. And a story that can draw you in to where you actually care about what happens to the people and that you keep thinking about for a long time after reading or watching it makes for a good story, even if you don't really like the people or the choices they make all that much.

Status Report September 2009

Sitting…in my dining room, listening to my 3-year-old scream and pitch a royal fit while she sits in her room where she has been banished until she can calm herself down. She wanted apple juice, but she did not want her daddy to get it for her, she wanted mommy to drop what she was doing to get it. Daddy got her a perfectly good cup of apple juice, but she is screaming that she wants a different apple juice. Not gonna happen….

Wondering….how long until she just gives it up and cries herself to sleep. She really needs a nap.

Smelling…the Cincinnati style chili that is simmering on the stove for dinner with some friends who are coming over tonight.

Enjoying….the cooler weather that signals that fall is on the way. Love the Fall!! I do not love Halloween and am really hoping we can get through October this year without having to do costumes. I really do not love having to do costumes. But I do love the fall.

Also listening…to the rain which has been going since the middle of the night sometime. Makes it a little hard to motivate for the house cleaning I still need to do. It would be a really nice day to curl up with a good book, if a certain little person would get over her fixation with having another apple juice and give in to the yawning and go to sleep already.

Watched…Ben Hur last night with my husband and our boys. I liked it. Due to the fact that my son did not realize the disc had a side A and side B, however, we ended up watching the second half of the movie first and wondering why we had no idea what the characters were talking about. I kept thinking, “Well, they are certainly using a lot of ‘show, don’t tell’ here and I’m really having to read between the lines.” Then, when the movie was ending barely an hour and a half after starting, Drew and I looked at each other and realized we must have missed something, because we knew it was a really long movie. Then we realized poor J had put it on the wrong side. So, we watched the first half after the second half, and we kept saying, “Oh, so that’s what that meant!” Anyway, I liked it a lot. I’ll probably like it even better if I ever watch it in the right order.


Enjoyed…playing Frisbee and catch with the boys yesterday evening when it was still nice out, before the rain came. Boo sat in the grass and read a little book while we played over her head. Followed by movie night, it was a fun family evening.

Finished…reading the Inkheart trilogy. Finally. I enjoyed it. The ending was okay. A little bit of a let down, but happy and satisfactory over all. I had a different ending in mind, though. But, overall, I enjoyed the series. It was a little weird, but interesting.

Excited…that our ladies’ Bible study starts Tuesday. We are going through the book, “Becoming a Woman of Excellence” by Cynthia Heald. We have a small group signed up, and I think it will be a good group. May God bless our time in His word and our time discussing it together!

Amazed…at how determined my daughter can be. She’s still going….

Pondering…a small blogging break. I’ve kind of been taking one already, it seems. I don’t know why I feel guilty about not blogging, but I do. Whether I take a formal break or not, I’ll just mention here that I’m probably going to slow down a little. Maybe. Unless the ideas start flowing again, then I’ll write more. The problem isn’t so much lack of ideas, but not being able to take the time to write or being too tired to think through a good blog post when I get the time lately. I have a lot going on at the moment, none of which is major in itself, but all together leads to busyness.

Needing…to end this post and get back to vacuuming and laundry.

Happy Saturday!

A Post In Which I Ramble Aimlessly For a Bit and Then Come to a Stop

Or: Just a Few of My Thoughts About the Movie One Night With the King and Some Other Things

Actually, these are just my $0.02 and some other random thoughts after having rented that movie and watched it with my husband last night. Take it or leave it, like them or hate them, these are just some rambling thoughts as I search for something to blog about. I’m at an all-time low on blogability at the moment. I have lots of things I think about, but getting those thoughts into a blog post is just not happening for some reason. When I do find time to sit quietly and attempt to write a post, the blank screen sits there blinking at me in a rather taunting manner remaining depressingly blank while either someone starts crying, someone starts destroying our newly decorated Christmas tree (just how many times will I be saying, “No, no!” this Christmas season as I attempt to redirect our very determined, very stubborn, very curious 18-month-old??), someone needs me to check homework (I hate math! Don’t tell my son I said that, though, please?), someone needs me to intervene in a scuffle, or I’m just plain brain tired and don’t feel like thinking through my first drafts to get them presentable. I have a 2 ½ page post I wrote today that was a sort of rant about something I was thinking about, but it needs a lot of work to pare it down. Even then, it will probably stay a draft forever, I’m thinking. Whine, complain, blah, blah, blah. Smile!

But, for anyone who still cares, I did decide not to quit blogging completely. The thought crossed my mind there for a bit, but I finally decided I’ll just write when the ‘want to’ hits and not worry too much when it doesn’t.

What was I planning to write about in this post? Oh, yes, the movie we watched last night. See, I’m having the hardest time focusing right now. Anyway, I’m not a huge fan of movies based on Bible stories. Just not my favorite thing. And, though I know lots of people liked One Night With the King, I cannot say that I was all that impressed. As a movie in and of itself, it wasn’t too bad. Interesting story, intriguing sets and costumes, and the writers resisted the temptation to make it racy or raunchy. It was a clean, entertaining movie. And these days, that’s somewhat rare, so I appreciate that, for what it’s worth. But, I just have a hard time watching Hollywood re-enactments of Bible stories, because inevitably they will use much artistic license with the material. This movie was no exception. I kept finding myself saying, “Yeah, right. That’s just not how the Bible tells this story,” or, “Come on, that’s just not even close to the biblical account,” much to my husband’s amusement. I have a hard time staying quiet during movies, by the way. It’s a very annoying habit I have. I won’t go into all of my little gripes, but my biggest criticism is that Hadassah’s character was written as too modern and western in the way she interacted with the other characters and there were several liberties taken with the story line and motivations, but that’s to be expected of a Hollywood movie of this type I think, and really, I’d just rather read the actual account. And, a petty observation perhaps, but the blue eyeliner they used on Xerxes made him look just plain creepy weird. But, for the most part, it was an okay movie if you just watch it as a movie and don’t have the compulsion to compare it to the actual biblical account, which I kept finding myself compelled to do.

Just so you know, it isn’t just the Esther movie I’m not thrilled with. I haven’t watched The Passion of the Christ, either, for the same reasons. That and what I had read about some of the heavy Catholic overtones and some other convictions I have about Passion Plays in general. Actually, the year it came out in theaters, I got so irritated by the people at church telling me that I could not truly appreciate the crucifixion if I didn’t go see this movie that I stayed away. Hmmm, centuries of people who only had the written Gospel accounts of the crucifixion just didn’t know what they were missing without Mel Gibson’s movie? I think not. I knew someone who has a very sensitive disposition and she really didn’t want to go see that movie because she is uncomfortable with graphic depictions like we were being warned it was, but she felt she must go see it. In fact, some people kind of implied that those of us who were choosing not to see it were somehow not appreciating the sacrifice our Lord made because we chose not to see a movie.

A church we used to be members of years ago had a big Passion Play production every Easter, and I was in the choir. I sang in it several years and finally had to sit out the last several years we were there. I didn’t like that I saw the actor who played Jesus in my mind every time I prayed for months after the Passion Play. It was awful for me. I know many people heard the gospel during those productions and I knew some people who were saved after attending and hearing the message. I’m not saying I think it’s necessarily wrong to have those dramas, but for me it was problematic. It is just a little too close to the prohibition against graven images for me. I know that’s not everyone’s conviction, but it is mine.

So, anyway, I don’t really like movies made about Bible stories. It doesn’t bother me if other people like them, that’s fine. They just aren’t my cup of tea. One Night With the King was okay as far as movies go and very tame and tasteful by Hollywood standards and even entertaining to watch, but still I don’t think it’s one I’d go out of my way to recommend, though I can’t say I would discourage anyone from watching it, either. How’s that for ambivalence? And now I’m finished rambling for the evening.