Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for other bloggers who write ‘Thankful Thursday’ posts, because, to be honest, I’d forgotten about thankfulness and Thursdays....again....until I pulled up my Google reader and saw what others had written today. I am humbled and ashamed when I think about how often I forget to stop and think about thankfulness, especially on Thursdays which seem to be one of my busiest days.

I’m thankful that faith is not dependent on how I feel. Again.

I’m so very thankful for the righteousness that comes from God, the only true righteousness, that depends on faith, not a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but the righteousness that comes through faith in Christ. What an amazing thing. And that is not just words, it is life.

I’m thankful for the book of Philippians and the Partnering to Remember project and the encouragement to hide God’s word in my heart. I’ve started going back and writing out notes on what I’ve memorized, and hope to be able to use it to encourage someone else as opportunity arises.

I’m thankful for periods of ‘the blues’ and for opportunities God uses to draw me close to Him and into His word for the only encouragement that will truly satisfy a sinking heart. And I’m thankful that no matter how low I feel, I will ever find the Rock of Ages upon which faith rests and is sustained. Thanks, Octavius Winslow, for that thought.

I’m thankful for joy that is deeper than momentary, or even longer than momentary, blues. The joy that is rooted in knowing Christ Jesus, the security that I may be found in Him and that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection. The joy that is found in knowing that my hope is sure because it is anchored in Jesus, and I am clothed in His righteousness. Hallelujah, what a Savior!

I’m thankful for reminders, painful ones, that sometimes I feel blue because I’m thinking too much of myself and not enough of others, and more importantly, not thinking highly enough of God and seeking to love Him and seek His Kingdom with all my heart, and that I need to repent and pray for grace and mercy to retrain my thinking and to think biblically and lay aside weights of selfishness and pride that will not only hinder my race, but strangle me, so please, God, have mercy and may I fling those weights aside and run with endurance and live in obedience a life that is worthy of the gospel!

I’m thankful for my husband, who is encouraging me to get moving with my writing. I'm also thankful for my parents' encouragement to write and keep writing the blog, too. I think I’ve been stalled because I’m scared. I’m scared because as long as I stall and only think about writing, I haven’t actually failed at it. Once I start, if I find out I can’t, well, it’s been part of me for so long....

But I’m thankful for my husband’s patient encouragement when I tearfully told him about a deep and secret hurt and fear yesterday regarding my dream to write. He believes I can do it. I don't know why, but he does. And he understands my insecurities in a way no one else can, but he loves me and is cheering me on. He even helped me find my ‘lost’ notebook of unfinished scribblings so that I can, finally, get busy. Even if the only thing I ever write is the story my little boy requested so long ago and only he ever reads it. Even then, at least I will have written it, if I just will get to it, and it will be worth it to be able to write this story before he is too old to care anymore.

I’m thankful for spring and greatly hopeful that it really will be warm consistently here again one day.

Happy Thursday!

The Lord is At Hand

Philippians 4:1-7

1 Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved.

2 I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord.

3 Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

One thing that memorizing the entire book of Philippians (or any large passage of scripture) really helps with is doing away with the artificial divisions of the verse and chapter breaks. It is amazing how the Word comes alive as I ponder whole passages and hear the actual flow of the context. What I mean is, sometimes when we take a verse and memorize it as a stand alone we forget the context that surrounds it which helps us to understand the full meaning of the verse.

I think sometimes we approach scripture as a Facebook status. You know, we want a pithy, short little encouragement. Or maybe we treat it like a blog post - how they say that the ‘good’ blog posts are supposed to be short and quick to the point because readers have short attention spans. So we take a verse and memorize it, and that’s good, I’m not saying it isn’t, but we often fail to read beyond the verse a lot of times to really digest the richness and depth of what is actually being taught.

See, Paul probably wouldn’t have been a great blogger if the bloggity wisdom that tells us to write short posts were to be applied to him. I mean look at how he says, “Finally, my brothers,” in 3:1 and then goes on for two more chapters. It takes time to develop a point, and it’s good to revisit those favorite, comforting verses in their original context. I would argue that in doing so, we can find even more encouragement from them.

I’ve actually blogged on this passage before, but in working to memorize chapter 4:1-7 this week I was struck by something else again. There are many things I could say about these verses, but I want to focus in on verses 6-7 for the sake of this post.

Many of us are familiar with Philippians 4:6-7, or at least verse 6. I’m sure lots of us pull it out when feeling anxious, and that is not a bad thing. However, as I’ve been pondering this passage this week, it was eye-opening for me that the words right before that very familiar exhortation to not be anxious in anything are these: “The Lord is at hand;”.

Here’s what I’ve been thinking: So many times when I’ve felt anxious and pulled out verse 6, I kind of get into this way of thinking that I have to just work up a less anxious way of thinking sort of by force of will or something. Well, it’s commanding us not to be anxious, I am feeling anxious, come on let’s stop being anxious, already. The thing is, this passage doesn’t encourage believers to not be anxious in a vacuum. The words right before this are key....the Lord is at hand! In light of all that has been said up to chapter 4 we are to be less anxious.

Think about all the truth that is presented in chapters 1-3 before this exhortation, and which I’ve had the joy of thinking over and rehearsing for the past 13 1/2 weeks now as we’ve partnered to remember Philippians.

Here are just some of the truths I’ve been pondering from Philippians that I’ll try to draw out for the sake of this thought: We who believe in Christ Jesus are saints in Christ Jesus who partner together for the sake of the gospel. He who began a good work in us will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus. We pray for love that abounds more and more in discernment and knowledge so that we may approve what is excellent and be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God. When Christ is proclaimed, we can rejoice, even when it means hardship or suffering for us personally because it is a joy to see His gospel advanced. God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. It is God who works in us to will and to work for His good pleasure, and because this is true, we can work out our own salvation with fear and trembling in the light of His working in us. And because of all of that, we can walk in a manner worthy of the gospel, we can walk blameless and innocent as children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation and shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life. We can count any gain as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus our Lord, we can be found in Him having the righteousness from God that depends on faith in Christ! Not a righteousness of our own that cannot measure up, but the righteousness from God! We can press on and make it our own because Christ Jesus has made us His own! Pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Can you really think on these things and not put an exclamation point? It is THIS Lord Jesus, at whose name every knee will bow and tongue confess that He is Lord, that is at hand.

And in light of ALL of that, we can rejoice! In light of ALL of that, we can not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let our requests be made known to God, trusting that the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. We can train our minds to the truth of God’s word and trust Him to reveal to us where our thinking is not mature and to turn our hearts and minds to Him in all things.

Yes, and amen!

Pressing On

I realized this weekend it’s been two full weeks since I last posted to my blog. I was quite surprised it had been so long, but here we are. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write or haven’t tried to write or haven’t been thinking about anything worth writing about in those two weeks, but nothing ever made it to the blog. Some did make it to my journal (the spiral bound paper and pen one), and some will just stay there in that private place of reflection and hashing out of thoughts. That is probably not a bad thing.

One kind of silly thing I’ve been doing is that I have been enjoying reading the book series The 39 Clues with my boys during the past few weeks, and trying to get ahead of them in the series so they will quit letting out spoilers, which has occupied not a small amount of time, I have to confess. My oldest boy does not seem to understand just how serious I am about how much I dislike having a story spoiled with plot reveals while I’m still reading along. He’s the kind of kid who will read all about a book on Wikipedia and skip to the last page and read the sum-up companion book at the end of the series because he just has to know. And no matter how often I threaten to quiet him with a well-placed piece of duct tape, he still keeps letting little, and sometimes really big plot twists out. Most of the fun of reading for me is to see if my guesses and theories are right and being surprised along the way. I finally caught up to my son and stole the book he was reading for a day and have now moved ahead in the search for the 39 clues. Equilibrium in the family is restored. :-)

And there are other ebbs and flows of a normal life, some good, some that have made me sad, and some that are kind of neutral but which all occupy a lot of thinking or energy but are not the kinds of things that need to be out here on the blog, and this is how it should be. Blogging is a good hobby, but it needs to stay a hobby and not interfere with the real stuff of every day life. Not only have I sort of involuntarily slowed down with blogging, but I am purposely cutting back on Facebook time this week. That particular little hobby has become much too much of a temptation to waste time, and it’s far more addictive than I really care to admit, so I’m trying to really limit time there this week in an attempt to be a better steward of my time.

And none of that is actually what I sat down to write about this afternoon while I had a few moments.

What I actually meant to write about was the passage in Philippians that I spent last week memorizing and part of this week’s work which I’ll type out here:

Philippians 3:7-16

7 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.

8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ

9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith -

10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,

14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.

16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

Before I took my unplanned blogging break, I was following the blog buzz over two controversial books that have become popular/notorious in the Christian world. It isn’t my purpose to discuss either of those books, and I’ve read enough about them to know I really don’t want to read them. I don’t need any help in adding confusing voices to my thinking. But as I read the discussions I have been examining my thinking and heart in recent days, and I am ever more aware of just how often my thinking has been shaped more by my culture and by the Christian subculture than it has by the Bible at times. I find it sad that some of what I’ve imbibed in the Christian subculture isn’t actually Christian, meaning, it is more man’s wisdom and humanistic psychology than biblical wisdom, and I am finding that I need to constantly be on guard to run any idea or way of thinking through the grid of scripture and examine myself to be sure that the opinions I’m holding are godly and biblical and to learn to shed those that are not. In fact, there are times I find it necessary to step out of blog world and examine myself because I do not want to be immature in my thinking and faith, but want to be ever growing toward maturity and biblical thinking. More on this in a future post, I hope, but I am extremely grateful that the reason I persevere in faith is because it is Christ who is holding me firm. It is not because I am so good, it is because He is so good and faithful that I am still holding firm.

In reading the discussions on those books, I see once again and clearly how important it is to know the Bible and to be committed to the understanding that no matter how interesting an idea may sound to our ears, the Bible is the authority for how we are to think about God. He has revealed Himself to us. We don’t have the right to approach Him just any old (or new) way we think is right, but we must be about the business of knowing Him and believing about Him what is true.

I have also found that any time I start to get puffed up or prideful, thinking I have all my theological ducks in a row, I discover some immature or wayward thing in me or I do something really stupid or sinful that proves that I have not yet attained it, and I confess that sometimes I get downright depressed to find such shallow and selfish thinking still holding sway over me, but I do press on.

And now, finally, I get to the point. In thinking on these verses over the past couple of weeks, I find that I really long to have this mind - that I count all things as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. He really is the something better that we long for. The Christian subculture is not what I long for. What I long for is Jesus. To be found in Him, not having a false kind of outward righteousness that can spout out Sunday school answers or sound really good or 'spiritual' to anyone listening but has a cold heart, but to really know Him. The only righteousness that is true righteousness is that which comes from God and depends solely on faith in Christ. This is the satisfaction for the hunger and thirst of a soul that finds itself weary in doing what I don’t want to do and not doing what I long to do.

And the only reason I can press on to make it my own is because Jesus has made me His own. I found I couldn’t say that for the first few days last week as I was working to memorize the verses without stopping to marvel at that glorious and extremely humbling thought. He has made me His own. This is the hope of righteousness! This is hope eternal! He is Lord and He has made me His own and He will complete what He has begun in me. Though I may not have yet completely made it my own, He has made me His own, and because He has, I can press on, I can shed those weights that entangle and run the race because He is Lord, and He is worthy of all praise. He has made me His own and freed me to do what is right and believe what is right because of the righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ alone. He has freed me to really obey, He has made me righteous in Christ Jesus and for His glory. It is God who works in me to will and to work for His good pleasure, and He will do it. Because this is true, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, and I hold true to what I have attained in Him. And I find it extremely encouraging that God will reveal to me where my thinking needs to change and to become more mature.

I said it before and I’m saying it again, memorizing scripture is becoming a truly wonderful thing for me. I love that it is causing me to think on these things and to make them my own. Rather than a discipline to follow, it is becoming a joy, and I am so glad I was encouraged to do it. There’s so much more I could share just from thinking on this one passage, but this post is long enough as it is.

**Update: After I posted this I read this blog post, and I found it very encouraging, so I thought I'd share it.

Not Just an Intellectual Exercise

The benefit of memorizing scripture is that as you meditate and ponder on it for weeks, it becomes part of your thinking. And then a situation arises where your emotions and your flesh are telling you, screaming at you to act and think in one way, but the Holy Spirit gently brings to remembrance that very passage that you come to see He has been orchestrating all events so that you would be memorizing for just such a time as this, and you see that God’s Word requires you to act in a way that is 180 degrees in opposition to your emotions and flesh and worldly wisdom and the lies the evil one would woo you to believe. Maybe someone steps on your pride or says words that hurt, or a driver cuts you off and you feel the blood boil, or the kids are acting up and your emotions run high, or a neighbor acts selfishly, like the unbeliever he is, and you're tempted to respond in the flesh rather than to remember to be at peace with all men as much as it depends on you, or any other number of hurts, stresses or frustrations set in. At such a time as this, the great question is, will I obey, will I submit, will I say, "No," to foolish pride, will I listen to truth and shut my ears to lies?

And with tears you pray and cry out to God, at the end of yourself, recognizing that His word requires you to do nothing from rivalry or conceit but with humility to count others more significant than yourself, and to look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others, and to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, to not be one of those who seeks her own interests but to seek those of Jesus Christ, to do all things without grumbling or questioning that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life. And you know this is truth. You know this is who you are in Christ, and you cry out to Him for mercy because you know that right now, you cannot do it. Your emotions and your flesh are screaming at you to be angry, or to lash out with angry words, or to pout, or to take a small slight and magnify it into something it wasn’t intended to be, or to hold a grudge, or to be hurt and to feed that hurt by rehearsing a list of grievances you could so easily fill up your mind with.

But the mercy of grace, the wonder of the gospel is that I can’t do it. But He can. Jesus Christ is ever interceding for me, when I don't even know how to pray, He is my advocate and Redeemer. By the power of the Holy Spirit living in me, if it kill me, I will obey Him. I will crucify the emotions and flesh and lies, and I will submit to His Word, though it be with tears and difficulty, I will mortify this flesh and live in the light of the gospel of Christ. I will love with His love and forgive as He has forgiven me. He is master, I am slave, bound to Him by the precious blood of Christ, shed for me, shed to forgive me of my sin and reconcile me to God. And by His grace, He will do it. And there I bow and worship Him and find freedom and peace.

Standing Firm

Philippians 1:27-30

27 Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel,

28 and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God.

29 For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake,

30 engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have.

Week 5 of the Partnering to Remember project found us in this passage of Philippians chapter one. I have been mulling over the exhortation to let my manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, and I am more and more convinced that the only life worth living is one that is devoted to and saturated by the gospel. The whole focus of Philippians chapter one is Paul’s prayer for the Philippians to be living faithfully to the gospel and the fact that all that has happened to him has served to advance the gospel. We cannot be too spiritually, too gospel minded. In fact, I find that much of the time I am not nearly gospel minded enough.

The amazing thing about the gospel is that it does not stop at the point of a person’s conversion to faith in Christ. This is not the end result of the gospel, but the beginning. It is the gospel that saves us and brings us into right relationship with God, and it is the power of the gospel that keeps us and produces the fruit of righteousness in us that allows us to live in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Growing up with a decisional, walk the aisle, pray this prayer and all is well kind understanding of the gospel, I have not always appreciated fully enough what it is to live with a gospel saturated mindset.

Spending five weeks with Philippians chapter one, rehearsing it over and over and over as I’ve sought to memorize it and think on it, I am seeing more clearly that the gospel is deeper and richer than we often present it as being. Proper understanding of the gospel is vital to justification, but also to sanctification. I am saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus, and I am also kept by grace through faith in Christ Jesus, and it is His working in me that is leading me to a fuller understanding of His grace and to be shedding the things that weigh me down from running the race He has called me to run. It is through Jesus Christ that the fruit of righteousness begins to fill my life.

One thing I’m taking away from this section is how Paul really wanted to hear that the Philippian church was striving side by side for the faith of the gospel. We’ve been encouraged to pray daily for our church here, and we really want to see God be glorified, we want revival. I’m convinced that what the church needs to be about is this striving for the faith of the gospel - not about programs per se, or a cool and fun youth group, or about making me feel....whatever it is I think I may want to feel based on my so-called ‘felt needs,’ or about making sure the music is all I would want it to be in whatever style I think is most what I want, or about being entertained, but about striving for the faith of the gospel. Striving is a strong word. It implies work, and not ease and comfort and fun and games and entertainment. I have not fully apprehended this in my approach to church membership yet, but I want to. I want to be much more about striving side by side for the faith of the gospel than about warming a pew or going through churchy motions or being entertained. Church really is not about me and my entertainment, but very much about turning our attention to our God and worshipping Him in spirit and truth and coming in line with His will. I want to be alive in Christ and busy about His business. I am thirsty for revival, and I’m praying for this for my church, too.

I go back to verse 22, “If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.” As I’ve been saturating my mind with this, it has come clear to me that this has not been my attitude toward my life in the flesh. Most of the time I pretty much muddle along through life, getting through the busyness of each day, but not actively, purposely thinking about fruitful labor in the gospel in the midst of the busyness. How much time I waste. Will I change? Can I change? Please, God, grab my heart and help me to change!

Something else that struck me this week was the way Paul told them that it had been granted to them that for the sake of Christ they should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake. I think this is a very hard thing for an American Christian to get her mind wrapped around. It is for this American Christian, steeped in the comfortable Christian subculture of suburban decisional Christianity anyway. I don’t typically look at suffering being something I would want to be granted. Believing, sure, but suffering? Not so much. But looking closely, it is suffering for the sake of Christ. Meaning, suffering because they are obviously being bold and obedient to speak the word without fear. I want to be bold to speak the word without fear. I want to be bold to speak the word at all. I’m not there yet, but I want to be. I don’t even face the risk of imprisonment and yet much of the time I am not out there looking for opportunities to speak the word. Why not? I think it goes back to the striving together side by side. As we as a body will be striving together we will also be bold together. I need to be really engaging with my church family, not settling for being comfortable to be part of it, but actively being busy with them in speaking the gospel of Christ to our community and in discipling those who are in the fellowship.

Anyway, these are just some of the things I’m working through as I partner to remember Philippians. Praying I will be obedient to take them to heart and learn to act on them, not just think about them, and then to stand firm in that obedience and be changed because I’ve hidden this word in my heart.

Status Report - February 2011

Thanking Lisa once again for her most useful status report format.

Sitting....at the computer desk in my kitchen with my ice cold hands. This has got to be one of the winteriest of winters I’ve ever experienced.

Eating....nothing. But I just finished having a lunch of spinach, carrot sticks, celery sticks and raw broccoli. Livin’ high on the hog ‘round here today.

Drinking.... “Sweet” iced tea, sweetened with Sweet-N-Low, but just put the tea pot on so I can make a nice cup of hot Constant Comment tea. Got to warm up these icicles I call fingers somehow.

Craving....a diet Coke. It's been over two weeks since I gave them up and gave up aspartame and Splenda, and even though the joint pain I was experiencing in my feet has subsided a whole lot in that two weeks, making me pretty sure those things were the culprits just as I'd suspected, I still crave diet Coke. Crazy.

Mistaken....when I thought my thermometer must be broken the other day. It read 96.5, and that just seemed low so I thought maybe it’s time to buy a new thermometer. When I was at the doctor’s office on Monday to try to find out why I have so much pressure and fluid in my ears, my temperature was 96 there, too. So, if I register 98.6, am I technically running a fever? No wonder I’m so cold all the time.

Lesson learned.....never, ever take Sudafed right before bed time.

Enjoying....the fact that though it snowed furiously all day yesterday, none of it stuck. Woo-hoo! Nice to see something other than white out there again. Could it be a sign spring might actually come one day?

Pleased....that after two weeks of consciously monitoring the calories I consume, I seem to have lost 5 pounds. This is huge, since I’ve not seen the scale needle move leftward in a long time.

Pondering...on Philippians 1:27-30, specifically about letting my manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ. Much to ponder and pray earnestly about in Philippians chapter one where I’ve spent the past 5 weeks memorizing. I want so much to be changed because of this concentrated time focusing on the Word and learning to pray more intently.

Thinking....what my life would be like if I truly mentally acknowledged that HOLINESS TO THE LORD should be written across it, just as the High Priest wore as I read in Exodus yesterday morning.

Wondering...why it is that just when I get serious about memorizing scripture and praying more intently I seem to get hit with a serious bout of the blues.

Thankful....that my salvation is not dependent on my emotions or ability to ‘feel it’, but on Christ’s extreme faithfulness to His promise - His finished work of redemption. Gospel living means trusting Him even when I feel nothing, but knowing, yes KNOWING, that it is only by His grace that I can live the life that is worthy of the gospel and be filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God, and He will bring to completion what He has begun in me for His glory. Yes and amen.

Ending....this post so I can go exercise for a bit. **Well, exercise was the plan. It's been a while since I posted that and I haven't gotten to it yet. Still a little time left this afternoon.....

Approving What is Excellent

Life being what it has been recently, I haven’t had a lot of brain power left over for blogging. I have been continuing on with memorizing Philippians, however, but I have not been able to write out my reflections in a blog post each week as I had intended. I also have some blogs backing up in my reader because I want to wait until I’ve written out my thoughts before reading what others are saying regarding their study of Philippians as we go along.

So, rather than an in depth post on each section, I’m going to write one post on the past three weeks’ worth of memorizing and meditating on the passages I’ve been working to hide in my heart and try to share what I’m thinking, even before I get it completely fleshed out. And because I’m collapsing three weeks into a rather long post, I’m quite sure I won’t be able to adequately get all my thoughts out, but I don’t want to wait any longer to write this post.

Philippians 1:7-26

7 It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel.

8 For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.

9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment,

10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,

11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

What has really stuck with me the past several weeks of meditation on this section has been Paul’s prayer for the Philippians. As I’ve thought about it, it has just naturally found its way into my own prayers for myself and for others as I seek to become more intense and more intentional in my prayers. I want more than a ‘going through the motions’ kind of faith. I want to recognize my daily, hourly, momentary desperate need for God. I want to see Him move in a way I’ve never seen before. I want to have the courage to surrender to the belief that I am truly His slave. That’s a hard thing for an American to understand and get her mind wrapped around, I think. But I have been purchased with a hefty price, no less than the precious blood of Jesus, and I want to live a life worthy of the gospel. I want to truly be discerning and approve what is excellent: what is sound and true and right and biblical and honoring to my Lord and Savior, to discern truth from error and to flee from error and run to the truth. I don’t want to settle for the world’s wisdom, as I far too often do. I want to truly seek after what is excellent, what is holy, what is righteous.

I’ve done a lot of thinking in recent days about how the righteousness we are called to is not for us. It is for Him. It is to the glory and praise of God. Some time ago I memorized Psalm 23. I have thought about the verse there that says that He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. He does a work in His people who are called by His name, saved by His grace, trusting in His sacrifice on our behalf to lead us to be filled with the fruit of righteousness. And it is so that He will be glorified as His people live lives that are set apart and different from the world and its faulty wisdom. It is His working in us that allows us to even want to be righteous and to surrender to obedience to Him.

I want to love Christ more and more and to love the people He places in my sphere of influence enough to live a life of righteousness that will bring Him honor. May I be a lighthouse in a dark culture and seek after what is excellent, putting aside the things that make it hard to see Him, make it hard to live a life that brings praise and honor to God. I want to live a righteous life, not so that I will look good, but so that He will! It is only by His grace that I can be filled with the fruits of righteousness. May I live a life that will cause others to see that He is worthy of praise and glory.

Philippians 1:12-18

12 I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel,

13 so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ.

14 And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.

15 Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will.

16 The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel.

17 The former proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment.

18 What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice,

I struggled a little with this section, wondering what it meant that some were preaching Christ from envy and rivalry and seeking to afflict Paul in his imprisonment. I finally resorted to checking the study notes in my MacArthur study Bible, where it says that these people really were preaching Christ but were jealous of Paul’s apostolic power and authority, his success and immense giftedness, and that his critics began discrediting him, seeking self-advancement, using Paul’s imprisonment to accuse him of being so sinful the Lord had chastened him, and thus advance themselves. That makes sense.

So what I have been thinking about from this passage is how, in the midst of all of that and his imprisonment, Paul’s main concern still is that Christ is preached. He doesn’t get all “woe is me” or complain about being imprisoned, or try to rescue his reputation from those who would seek to afflict him. He is humble and does not seek to right the wrong that others are doing in thinking to afflict him, he doesn’t try to set the record straight, so to speak. No, he is pleased to see Christ proclaimed, that is his main focus, not his own reputation or having others see him in a good light. He sees reason to rejoice in that the brothers are more confident, more bold to speak the word without fear.

This has led to another urgent thing I’m praying for myself. I want to be bold to speak the word without fear. I confess to you all that this is something I have not been. But I want to be. And also it has got me thinking a lot about how to see God moving in all circumstances, and rather than focusing on the circumstance, be seeking how to honor Christ in and among the circumstances and to recognize that God has a purpose in it all. For instance, when I first found that I would have to serve on jury duty for two months, I was griping about it. In the midst of the griping, we reached this passage, and I realize I need to be praying about opportunities to glorify God even as I serve on the jury. I need to obey Him even in that. Stop griping and look for opportunities to speak the word without fear. It has also helped me to begin praying for people I would never have been exposed to otherwise.

Philippians 1:19-26

19 For I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance,

20 as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always, Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.

21 For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.

22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.

23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.

24 But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.

25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith,

26 so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.

I wrote in my little memory notebook under the reflections section here that even reciting these verses is convicting because I realize that I am still much too worldly minded. I’m not sure I can truly say that I would rather depart and be with Christ yet. Intellectually I know this is far better, but I still am very tied to this world and my loved ones here. I do, however, believe that when my time to depart comes He will grant the grace to be ready. Not sure I’m expressing this well, but what I mean is that I’m not sure I have enough of a heavenly mindset yet. I want to. I want to sincerely and deeply long for Christ’s return in such a way that it colors how I live each day, each moment. I’m not there yet. Far too often I get bogged down in the tyranny of the everyday stuff of life and forget to think about Him purposefully in the midst of all that fills the day. I do long to be with Him, but not yet as deeply and meaningfully as I want to.

Also, Paul’s genuine love for the believers at Philippi is inspiring. Do I have that kind of love for other believers? Am I truly partnering in the gospel with my fellow church family members, or am I just warming a pew? Hard thoughts. Necessary thoughts. Is anyone being given ample cause to glory in Christ because I am here and serving alongside them in the ministry of the gospel? Am I pointing anyone to Christ by my life and my words? How I want to be. I want to be so heavenly minded that I am of much earthly good.

This exercise of memorizing scripture is such a good thing. It is helping me to think more about Jesus throughout each day and to be more aware of approving what is excellent and laying aside the things that aren't throughout the day, because I come back and rehearse these scriptures over and over throughout the day. I’d love to encourage you to join in memorizing Philippians, too. If not Philippians, pick another scripture passage to hide in your heart. It does help to really make it a part of your thinking the more you work through the memorization process. I am really glad I was encouraged to join in this endeavor.

Pondering and Remembering (1)

Philippians 1:1-6

1 Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers and deacons:

2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you,

4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy,

5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.

6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

As part of my decision to join with the group that is Partnering to Remember Philippians this year, I think I’d like to blog some along the way about what I learn as I focus in on hiding this book of scripture in my heart and thinking about what it means - not just what it means to me, you understand, but what it means. Because it can’t have meaning for me personally apart from having meaning as it was intended in the writing. When we get all caught up in personalized ‘meaning’ we miss context and run a very serious risk of dangerously twisting scripture. Hopefully I can flesh that out a bit in a minute. By the way, I just typed out that passage from memory and then went back and checked myself before publishing the post. Only one error, and it was in punctuation. I love being encouraged to memorize in this way, because I’m quite sure I wouldn’t have ever gotten around to it without the memorization techniques from the download for this exercise. I hope it will spur me on to continue in the future and that I’ll finish this one, too.

I find that one thing I really, really, really like about taking a passage of scripture to memorize is that it forces you to ponder the passage in context rather than as stand-alone verses. Of this first portion we’ve been meditating on and working to memorize this first week, verse 6 is one that I’ve memorized before by itself.

Here’s the thing, in context it takes on a little bit different flavor and meaning than it has by itself. Let me explain what I mean and what I am beginning to glean from this.

I have quoted verse 6 often and it has been an encouragement to me that the work of salvation and sanctification begun in me will be completed at the day of Jesus Christ. For instance, our Sunday School class is beginning a study in Revelation. During some of the discussion we were talking about the significance of ‘birth pangs,’ and I got to thinking about persecution and how in America we don’t really face much of that in comparison with believers around the world. I got to thinking about how difficult it is to be a true Christian in much of the world, and I got to wondering if I would stand strong in the face of the kind of persecution many of our brothers and sisters face around the world. You read stories about believers in the first century and the terrible, torturous kinds of things they faced and stood firm in the faith even as they died for it, and I confess to you that I get squeamish.

While I was struggling along with these thoughts, I began memorizing Philippians 1:1-6, and all of a sudden verse 6 reminded me that it is not me alone in my own strength who will stand strong in the day strength is needed, but it is He who began the good work in me who will bring that good work to completion. Awesome, incredible thought. And true! It is true and glorious that God will bring His work to completion in those of us who believe in Christ Jesus and belong to Him.

But in context, that verse means more than just the personal way I’d always taken it. The assurance is individual and personal, yes, but in context, Paul is also assuring the collective body of believers at Philippi that the work begun in them, specifically their partnership in the gospel, would be brought to completion at the day of Christ Jesus. I’m not sure I’ll be able to convey what a huge shift of thinking this is for me.

In America, at least in my experience, and how it has seemed to me in my growing years, Christianity is largely a personal and independent thing. You are encouraged to have a personal walk with Christ, to make Him your personal savior, and this is all necessary. If I’m not personally walking with Him, no one can do it for me. I, myself, must be surrendered to Him. However, it does not end there. We are not saved to be Lone Ranger Christians. Nor are we free to have some God-to-me view of God and His ways. It seems that we somehow do not adequately convey how important is is that we are called to part of the Body of Christ. I have understood this on some level all my life - I mean, being a part of the local church is very important to me and I know we are exhorted not to forsake the assembling together of believers. But I’m not sure I have adequately understood just how important a concept this really is.

As believers in community with other believers, God is doing a work in our midst. My spiritual health isn’t for me alone and my benefit alone, but so that I can be a functioning, contributing member of the Body of Christ. We in the local church must be grounded in the faith and submitted to the authority of scripture so that we can encourage others to be so as well, so that we can guard the trust we’ve been given in the faith and to pass it to the next generation in a way that is faithful and true to God’s word. Thinking this way means that praying for my church family becomes a higher priority than it has been. It means I need to get over myself, stop whining when and if ‘I didn’t get anything out of this or that thing at church’ or complaining about surface things that really aren’t what we’re to be about, or complaining if my personal preferences about those surface things aren't always met and learn to be loving my brothers and sisters in a real way and encouraging others to worship God truly and deeply. And it means that I need to be remembering that He who began a good work in my own local church family will be faithful to complete that work. I need to be taking an active part in what He is doing in and through my church family, not content to just warm a pew on Sunday morning and be friendly with others, but actively engaged with them.

Our choir director has asked us choir members to commit to pray specifically for our church every day for the rest of 2011. This is a good thing, and I’m glad to be part of it, because I want my church, the people, to be growing and learning to love God and know Him more, to worship Him in spirit and truth, to have the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that we may know Him better, that the eyes of our hearts may be enlightened in order that we may know the hope to which He has called us and the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. (Eph. 1:17-19) What will it look like when, as a church family, we begin to truly have the spirit of wisdom and revelation as we dig deeply into His word and learn to pray for each other? What will it look like as we grow to know Christ better and better and live in the light of His glorious gospel?

So, yes, individually He will complete the work He began in me, and I am ever and eternally grateful and will praise Him through eternity for saving the wretch that I am. And I want, too, to be healthy individually so that I can be a part of the health of the community of believers that make up my local church, too. Because God is working among us corporately, and we need to have eyes to see and ears to hear so that Jesus is glorified and we can be a lighthouse to our community and point people ever to Jesus and His gospel.