Completely Known, Completely Loved

Have you ever had someone believe or say something about you that wasn't true, and they persist in it even when corrected by someone who knows you well and cares about you? Have you ever had someone in your life you found it hard to love, or even like very much? I think we've all had that at one time or another. 

I was recently talking to my wise friend who counseled me to live in the Psalms when this kind of thing happens. Psalm 34:22 says, "The LORD redeems the soul of His servants, and none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned." That's a good promise to camp out on when you feel wronged or alone. Because I'd much rather camp out on God's word and let my feelings take a back seat. But sometimes that's easier in principle than in practice. That's why we need to practice it.

I had a situation not too long ago that I just couldn't quit thinking about all the wrong I believed was real, and because writing and words are how I process things, I finally wrote it all out in a confidential, very well worded paper. I shared that paper with my son who is currently studying at seminary, and he read it and texted me that it would be stronger if I leaned into the scripture to address the wrongs and my hurt, otherwise it could be perceived as personal grievances. I read that text right before going into church yesterday, and that young man is wise beyond his years. During the last song before the pastor came up to bring his sermon, I fell apart in tears, realizing I had to let go of all my personal grievance and do what God has called me as His child to do, and that is to love. But, that person just doesn't look much like Jesus, it's hard, I really have been wronged, what they continue to do really is wrong! But I'm not called to love people only when they look like Jesus. Who would be left, if so? And, what brought me to tears there in the pew was, I realized my anger and brewing bitterness and lack of love didn't look at all like Jesus, either. So I metaphorically laid that paper out before the Lord like Hezekiah with his letter from the Assyrians and said all that is merely personal grievance I must leave at the feet of Jesus. He can handle it. He is my defender. I do not have to make my case, He's got it. He was kind to Judas, knowing what was about to happen, He knows, more than anyone else, what it feels like for people to say unfair, unjust, unkind things about Him. What He suffered for me in making the way for me to be made a precious child of God was way more than any grievance I may face here. Puts that in perspective.

 I've been reading a book about the fruit of the spirit in the life of Jesus, all about His character, and I've been praying that He would chip away at the things in me that don't look like Jesus. The first time I prayed that I stopped and thought, that's a hard thing to pray. It's going to hurt. Pruning the rebel out of me hurts. And the Holy Spirit graciously showed me a little bit of His pruning yesterday. And in the pruning I had such an overwhelming sense of freedom. I can rest, I can wait on the Lord and just see what He's going to do in this situation. I can rest in my Savior. 

Later in the day yesterday, a friend told me about this song and oh, wow, what a song. This is who I am. Not what anyone else who doesn't really know me says about me or lies about me. This is who I am. 

"Completely known, completely loved
I'm covered by my Savior's blood
I'm robed in white, and God is pleased
To see His Son when He looks on me."

By God's grace, this is who I already am. Not who I will be when I try harder, do better. When He looks on me, He sees Jesus. And Jesus is so beautiful, I want to lean in to this truth and live in such a way that I find freedom when He chips away everything in me that isn't like Him. I want to live in such a way that His beauty is far more valuable to me than holding on to a personal grievance. Yes and amen.

 

My Bible Reading Plan for 2025

 It's that time of year again when I decide what I will use as a plan for daily Bible reading for the coming year.  Back in 2003, we had just moved to Indiana and my husband was on a year-long deployment overseas. As a lonely young mom effectively functioning as a single mom in a new state that year, when our pastor challenged us if we had never read the Bible through in a year, maybe this was the year to do it, I decided that was exactly what I needed. And for the past more than 20 years since, I've made it a practice to do just that, some plans were heavier on the amount of daily reading than others, but always including at least one time through the Bible in a year. This is a practice I strongly encourage. Too often we read the Bible out of context and those favorite verses we love just may not mean what you think they mean if you take the time to read what they are actually saying. Any Bible reading plan needs to take context seriously, not just a verse here and there. Maybe you won't read the whole Bible all the way through every year, but everyone ought to take the opportunity to read it all the way through at least once, so you can grasp the whole arc of the scripture in context. It really is edifying. 

Another practice I gleaned from encouragement from another pastor is to read the Proverbs every day.  There are 31 chapters in Proverbs, so it works out nicely to read through the book each month, taking a chapter a day. That practice I'll continue this year, as I've found it very edifying and it is neat how the wisdom in Proverbs begins to filter into how you think through life's situations when you're spending every day reading through it. 

This year, however, I think I am going to change things up a bit.  I've noticed the past couple of years that the amount of chapters I had set to read each day were sometimes challenging, and it was becoming more that some days felt more like kind of a 'check the box burden' feeling, and I'd find my mind drifting and realize I hadn't really taken in what I'd read rather than really digging in and every day pondering what I was reading and digesting it well.  Some days were better than others, but overall, I think I've suffered a bit in deeper devotions and study. Also, I found that reading ahead for the various group Bible study opportunities I have during the week was suffering. I need to change things up this year and I'm hoping for a deeper devotional time for it. 

So, all that said, here is what I plan for my own personal daily reading this year. 

Every day (Sunday-Saturday): Read through the Psalms and Proverbs, repeating as often as the year allows. 

Monday: Read and think over the passage we will be studying in our Wednesday morning women's study. 

Tuesday: Read and think over the passage we will be studying in our Wednesday evening study.

Wednesday: Read the Wednesday am passage again and prepare for the morning.

Thursday: Read and think over the passage for our Sunday school lesson.

Friday: Read and think over the Sunday school passage again and the passage for the Sunday morning sermon if we know it.

Every day: Work on scripture memory. (I've been stuck on Colossians 1 for way too long now)

I'm looking forward to this new plan for the coming year. It will be different for me, and I have a feeling it will feel really weird not to be starting over in Genesis on January 1, but I'm looking forward to being better prepared for the group discussions and to learning more for myself as well. 

May I encourage you, too, whatever plan you might choose, to spend some good time in Bible reading and prayer each day? It is a gift of God's grace that we have these means to draw near to Him.

Light: Rescued From Darkness, A Christmas Devotional

 I got to share the devotional this morning at our church's women's ministry Christmas party.  It was a sweet time with my sisters from my church family.  I thought I'd share the thoughts here on my blog as well: 

One of my very favorite things about the Christmas season are the decorations.  Not so much the cutesy, schmaltzy, cluttery ones, but the beautiful, shimmering, glittering, brilliant lights as they glint and shimmer in the all the gold and silver and glass. We all have our preferences for what makes for beautiful decorations, but for me, I’m partial to white lights and candles and the gentle twinkle as those lights shine on the tree, reminding us of the starry night sky. Lights play a big part in our Christmas decorating. For us in the northern hemisphere, Christmas takes place in the winter with its long, dark nights, and we light up our homes with shimmer, lights, and shine as we try to push back the darkness with wonder and beauty as we await all the things that make Christmas wonderful for us.

What I like to ponder while I sit in the quiet of my living room on early December mornings and watch the beautiful twinkle of lights on the glitter and glass on the tree is how that beauty points to an even greater, more immense, more significant, brilliant, and glorious beauty – Jesus, who is the light of the world.

The motif of light is quite prominent in the arc of the scripture. When God creates the heavens and the earth, what is the very next thing He creates? LIGHT! “Then God said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was light. God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.”

In this first opening chapter of Genesis, we get a picture of what God will do spiritually for the rest of the ages – after mankind falls into darkness, when we disobey and reject God and become marred by sin and plunged into spiritual darkness – God, in His grace and mercy, sets into motion the rescue of His people from the darkness of sin and rebellion to bring them back to His light.

The history of mankind is rife with evidence of the darkness our sin causes in this world. Every one of us has sinned and rebelled against our Creator and felt sin’s devastating effects in our world and our lives. And yet, God gives us the light of His Word so that we may know Him, so that those who walk with God can walk in light. In Isaiah 9:2, the prophet gave hope to God’s people, Israel: “The people who walk in darkness will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, the light will shine on them.”

Many years later, in Luke 1:78-79, John the Baptist’s father speaks a beautiful word of prophecy reflecting that Isaiah 9 prophecy, about the Messiah who was soon to come, the One for whom John would be the forerunner and prepare the way, “Because of the tender mercy of our God, with which the Sunrise from on high will visit us, To shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

 Fast forward to Luke 2 when the brightness of the glory of the Lord shines into the darkness of the night and startles a group of shepherds outside Bethlehem with the good news of great joy that a Savior has been born, and the heavenly host sings, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.” And in Matthew 4:16-17, we see the prophecy from Isaiah fulfilled in Jesus. Matthew quotes that Isaiah 9 prophecy and then says, “From that time Jesus began to preach and say, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.’”  Truly, could it be any clearer that it is through Jesus that God’s light shines on those of us who have been in darkness?

And then we have John 1:1-14. This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible! “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. There came a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to testify about the Light, so that all might believe through him. He was not the Light, but he came to testify about the Light. There was the true Light which, coming into the world, enlightens every man. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

In John 8:12, Jesus says, “I am the Light of the World; he who follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the Light of life.”

In John 10, Jesus is in Jerusalem for the Feast of Dedication – this is what we know today as the Festival of Lights, or Hannukah – and at a festival of lights, Jesus so clearly identifies Himself as the Messiah that the religious leaders understood He was claiming to be the Son of God and in their unbelief they took up stones to stone Him. He clearly is claiming to be the One prophesied to bring the Light.

In Revelation 21:22-24, the New Creation is being symbolically described, “I saw no temple in it, for the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. And the city has no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God has illumined it, and its lamp is the Lamb.” Hallelujah – here we find the fulfillment of what I said at the beginning that God rescues His people from the spiritual darkness our sin plunged us into and brings us to His light – He brings us to Himself.

We only have time for a brief look at light in the Bible this morning, but if you want to dig a little more you could probably do an interesting word study on light that I imagine would be very encouraging. There is one more passage I want to share before I share some practical application and close. For the past, I’m not sure how long, I have been sporadically, far too slowly, trying to memorize the book of Colossians. These verses in Colossians 1:9-14 have become precious to me: “For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light. For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

I know that the holidays, and especially Christmas, can be a difficult time for many. When so many voices and movies and TV shows and music all around us are so loud about the so-called perfect Christmas, the pressure to have the perfect holiday can feel dark and overwhelming if your reality is vastly different from the worldly expectations or when you do not have what you wish you could have to make this Christmas perfect. Holidays can be very lonely when life's events make us weep.

My friends, my encouragement for you this Christmas – whether you will have a houseful and all the holiday cheer your heart desires and all your expectations are joyful, or on the other hand, perhaps you may be feeling lonely, disappointed or bitter with the weight of the difficulties of life in this fallen world, or maybe you’re feeling burdened and overwhelmed with some sin that has robbed your joy, or perhaps maybe you don’t even understand what I’m talking about today if you haven’t yet met this Jesus and come to find the peace that passes all understanding when you come to trust Him as your Lord and Savior – wherever this Christmas season finds you, may I encourage you to take time to look away from the world’s empty promises of what the perfect holiday, the empty promises of what the perfect life looks like, and let the lights and all that comes with them in this season point you to the true Light. Jesus has come! And He has come to redeem you from your darkness. Most importantly, because Jesus perfectly obeyed God’s Law, when we could not, because Jesus died as our substitute to pay the debt our sin deserves, because Jesus rose again and is ever interceding for His people, because of this, in Jesus we can be reconciled, brought into right relationship, to God. When we come to Him, confess our sins and repent and trust in Jesus alone for our salvation, we can be made right with God and walk in His light. In Jesus, broken expectations, disappointments, and even grief, can be put into proper perspective. Let the forgiveness, peace, and love Jesus brings draw you near to God and into His light. Let your focus this Christmas be so much less on what the world would promise Christmas is and so much more on Jesus, whose promises never fail and who is the true Light of the World.

Meditating on The Word - Navigating Our New Life Season

 While reading Genesis 1-2 yesterday morning, I got to thinking about Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” It had never occurred to me before that this is before the fall, before sin entered the world. Which is significant. This means that this concept of a man leaving his father and mother and joining his wife is inherently good, good by design, which also means, if we think this through, that the so-called “empty nest” is a good and proper and expected thing, good and designed to be the way families work before the fall. It means that this is something that is in how our Creator has designed us and our relationships with each other. The thing is, though, that the fall and our now sin nature taints everything. We tend to take something beautiful and good and right and forget how to live in it as good and beautiful and right.

My husband and I are entering the phase of life where we are about to be empty-nesters, with one son having gotten married last May, one son who, having become recently engaged and will, Lord willing, most likely be married before the end of this year, and our youngest daughter about to graduate high school and, again, Lord willing, planning to leave for college in the Fall.  As I meditate on this biblical thought here at the beginning of a new year and at the cusp of our new season of life, I want to think and behave righteously.  Also, as I meditate on this, I find myself thinking about it from a different angle than I did as a newly wed just starting out and learning how to start our new family together. Now I’m thinking about it, not from the standpoint of the one leaving, but of the one being left.

How often do we see the “empty nest” concept as a negative thing, as something to mourn and complain about, among our friends and on our social media and in our entertainment?

 In our fallenness, we are prone to a self-centered, selfish way of viewing life, and we often don’t even realize it. I know for a fact, as I sit here at the beginning of this season of life, that I did not consider my parents and in-laws enough in how they might be experiencing our leaving and cleaving.  I think, through the years, we have had a pretty good relationship with our respective parents, and I am very grateful for that. But there can sometimes be a tendency as we spread our wings to see our parents more as adversaries as we break free rather than as allies to help us fly. It can be especially hard for the in-law relationship if we, as young people, forget that these people loved and raised our spouse, have sought the best interests of our spouse, loved them as a tiny baby and loved them as they grew to adulthood, and love them still now that they are leaving the nest to go start their own nest.  

On the other hand, we parents can have just as much of a tendency to be self-centered and selfish, because we, too, are sinners. Again, how many times have you known people in real life and in our movies and TV shows who cling too hard to their grown children or who meddle too much or make demands/expectations or offer too much unsolicited/unwelcome comments or who just make it difficult for adult children to leave their parents and cleave to their spouses? There is a reason the meddling, difficult in-law joke is a common trope.

What I’m getting at is that as we navigate different life seasons, we would do well to remember that this notion of children growing up and leaving father and mother to form their own home and family is not an evil, not a thing to mourn, but to embrace, celebrate, and handle wisely. It is good. But as we remember this, we also need to remember that in our sinfulness, we can ruin that good thing if we do not have the right attitude about it and forget that all good things are meant to glorify our God and help us to enjoy Him in this life.

While pondering these things, I also read Proverbs 1 yesterday, where I came across verse 8-9, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck.” So, I got to thinking about this in light of the Genesis 2:24 verse, that leaving and cleaving doesn’t mean forgetting all that came before. Our parents loved us, taught us, raised us, and, hopefully, if done well, we still want them to be part of our lives. They don’t stop loving us and wanting what’s best for us when we grow up and leave the nest. The training and instruction they instilled in us during our growing up doesn’t lose its importance when we leave their home. But the relationship does change. Hopefully, if we are both wanting to seek God and honor Him, we can move from having the authority relationship of parent to child to having more of a friendship of parent to adult child. 

So, as I follow the encouragement my pastor gave us on Sunday to meditate on God’s Word, and as I enter this season of parent to adult children, having once been that young adult child and now the parent of young adult children, here are a few thoughts I would like to consider, for the young just starting out and for me, the older person wanting to honor the Lord and love my sons and daughter well (and the new daughters who love my sons and the, hopefully one day, young man, who will love my daughter) as they learn to spread their wings.

As a young person, try really hard not to start out viewing your parents and in-laws as adversaries who you need to immediately set up boundaries against.  Try seeing them as allies who love your spouse and want very much to love you. We parents will make mistakes. We won’t want to, but we will. Please be patient with us as we seek to be patient with you. Please choose to assume the very best motives you can, rather than assuming bad motives. How you choose to see your parents and in-laws will very much color how you are able to hear, see, interact, and love them. This is something I wish I had understood better when I was young.

As a parent, God helping me and looking to Jesus, my Savior, and trusting the Holy Spirit as He conforms me to the image of Christ, I intend to choose to treat my children and their spouses as allies, not adversaries, and to try very hard not to give them reason to feel we are adversaries rather than allies. Again, how we assume motives goes a long way to how we then interact with each other. I must always put the best construction on comments and actions that I possibly can, assume the best and choose never to hold a grudge. Our family is not shrinking because our kids are flying from the nest, it is expanding. We get to love new people who, though different, are very, very special and worth knowing well. I intend to see the empty nest, not as a time to grieve what was when the kids were little and life was very busy with all their activities, but as a new season in which to find new interests and new traditions and new places and people in which to serve God’s Kingdom.  I intend to encourage my kids in positive ways, and to try very hard not to put undue expectations or burdens on them. Of course I hope in the years to come that they will want to spend time with us, so I am praying often that I will invest in being the kind of person they will want to spend time with. I don’t want to hinder that for them or make it difficult to love us, and I also very much want them to be free to start their lives together, with our blessing, not our complaining.

May we seek to honor God in how we love each other. May we be loving, forgiving, full of grace and understanding as we navigate new seasons of life together, because we have been forgiven so much by our loving Savior, Jesus Christ.

I am entering this new year of 2024 very grateful for the people God has graciously brought into our lives through the years. May we love them all well. 

Singing With Thankfulness in Our Hearts

Colossians 3:16

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

After opening with singing Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee and prayer, we got to sing this song today in church.  What a wonderful way open worship on this first Sunday of a new year! We were introduced to CityAlight at our last church and we have loved adding their songs into our repertoire of the newer hymns that are being written in recent years.  I’m thankful for the wealth of newer hymns that are rich in biblical language that we can add to our library of psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs we can sing with thankfulness in our hearts to God.

I recently went through a bout of the blues where I felt low and couldn’t really explain it. 2021 was a year with a lot of challenges and griefs one on top of another that felt overwhelming at times. I have found that when that kind of pressure starts building and I may have trouble focusing on reading my Bible deeply and well in some of those moments, one of the best comforts I’ve found is to put good music with Christ-exalting lyrics and thoughts on repeat and fill my heart and mind with them. I am extremely thankful for the gift of music.  Often these rich spiritual songs minister to my soul in a deep and resonant way. I am thankful that God is bringing new hymn writers to us, people like Keith and Kristyn Getty, Stuart Townend, Matt Papa, Andrew Peterson, CityAlight, Sovereign Grace and many others who are writing music we can sing, even when our hearts are broken, which take us out of ourselves and to the very throne of God, bringing light to adorn the darkness and lifting the sprit in times of trouble. 

Today was a good day to start this new year, also, because we were finally able to formally join our new church.  We have known for a while now that this church is to be our new home and church family, but life circumstances kept happening that hindered us from going forward. Today we finally got to make it public that we want Northwest Hills Baptist Church to be our new church family here. We are excited to join in the life and work of this little body of believers and we are thankful for the deep and solid teaching, gospel and grace-centered encouragement, and rich friendships we are already developing here. 

God is so kind to us. And I am grateful. 

Politically Homeless

Psalm 118:8-9

“It is better to take refuge in the LORD

than to trust in man.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD

than to trust in princes.”

I have been realizing more and more over the past few years that I am increasingly politically homeless in my country.  I truly don’t fit comfortably anywhere in that sphere, and thinking through how to vote has become more and more difficult. 

I am not sure this is truly a bad thing. 

For most of my time on social media, I’ve been pretty careful not to get too political or opinionated about things that are overly divisive which could obscure the main thing I want to be known for, and that is my love for Jesus and His gospel. I just don’t want to be known for my political opinions. It’s not that I don’t have them. It’s not that I don’t think they are important or worth wrestling through.  But I have chosen not to make that my main talking point on my social media feeds. 

I was listening to Todd Friel discussing what it is to live for God’s glory recently on the Wretched Radio podcast.  He was trying to articulate that we need to concentrate on Jesus, draw near to Him, know Him more, and then….live.  Not agonize over decisions, but live.  Repent when we need to, and recognize our solid security in Christ.  Find that sweet spot of loving Jesus and living in that light. He was getting at the concept of abiding in Christ. 

This is where I want to keep my focus.  

And if finding myself increasingly politically homeless means I place less of my hope in whoever does or does not get elected, I think I’m learning to be ok with that. I will think carefully, be as wise as I can, understand the issues as best I can, vote as best I can, and then let go of anxiety over it.  I won’t stress over the fact that no one in the running is what I wish I had as an option to vote for. 

And when elections are over, I will pray for whoever is elected.  I will pray for our elected officials to make wise decisions that are good for the people. I will pray for wisdom for the people to live peaceably and in order. And I will pray for Christian people to be bold in their witness, confident in God’s word, genuinely loving and caring for our neighbors and those in need, willing to stand for what is right even when it’s hard, and most of all willing to gently, reverently, and solidly give a defense for the hope that lives within us. 

And most importantly, I rest in the confidence that God is sovereign over the nations, including this one. God is always working all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, and He is working all things for His glory, and in this we can lay our heads down and rest.  And in this confidence, we can fix our eyes on Jesus and we can live. 

I read Psalm 118 today, and those verses I quoted at the beginning of this stuck out to me. My hope and refuge are always in the LORD, whether I feel good about the politicians, or, like now, I feel so alienated from all of them. My refuge is Christ. And in Him, I will pray for my country, but I will not be anxious. 

After all, we are called to be in this world, yes, and I want to be a good citizen, good neighbor, good friend, etc. while in this world, but still, we are not to be of the world. Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. (Philippians 3:20-21).

So, while the things of this world are important and we want to live in such a way that our actions are informed and beautified by our faith, it is vastly important to keep them in perspective.  And it just may be that this season of political homelessness could be serving to knock down the idol of thinking that political security is where my security of life rests.  It doesn’t.  No matter what happens in that sphere, Jesus is where my hope rests. Looking to Him, I can live confidently, and I can refuse to let the headlines and other people’s anxiety and rhetoric and click bait spin me up and get me agitated.  

So, maybe being politically homeless isn’t such a bad thing after all.

Whatever We Trust In

I woke up the other day feeling anxious and depressed, more than I think I ever have before.  I could write all the thoughts I felt crushing me that have been feeding that, many that are serious enough things to be concerned about, but somehow I had let these things become out of perspective in my thinking.  Many of these things are important and need to be discussed and hashed out in our society, but most of them are not my responsibility. I started to write about the things I’m concerned and frustrated and depressed about several times, but each time I felt a check in my spirit, and I decided to keep the details to my private journal and private prayer closet.  Except for this one: I miss church.  I just do. I miss the refreshing of the soul we get when we see each other singing and see each other responding to the Word being preached.  Virtual services are nice, since we can’t have the embodied meeting together, but in no way is it enough. 

So, with that background, the blues that hit hard the other day and which I’m battling to keep in proper perspective, today, during my morning prayer time I read this in one of the prayers from The Valley of Vision and it spoke right to my heart: 

“Remember, O my soul,

It is thy duty and privilege to rejoice in God:

He requires it of thee for all his favors of grace.

Rejoice then in the Giver and his goodness,

Be happy in him, O my heart, and in nothing but God,

for whatever a man trusts in,

from that he expects happiness.”

As I read and prayed through that, when I got to those words, “for whatever a man trusts in, from that he expects happiness,” I stopped and realized that the frustration and depression I am feeling in response to all these things I’m not discussing in detail are, in fact, a gift of grace, because that anxiety and depression are pin-pointing areas I have been sinfully placing my trust and hope for happiness in, without even realizing it.  

We are working on our last lesson from the book of Romans in our women’s Bible study this week, and after months of focusing mostly on Romans 8, this gentle reminder to check the idols in my heart and keep my focus and trust and hope grounded on nothing but God Himself is landing on prepared soil in my heart, where I’ve been meditating and pondering just what it means that God works ALL THINGS for the good of the people who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  All things means all things, even this season of not being able to meet together as a church family, and even those things I woke up anxious and depressed about. So, while the tears are real, and the concerns are real, so, too, and more so, is the genuine, deep, underlying, soul uplifting hope real.  I don’t have to be crushed by anxiety and depression.  I may not be able to control all the physical responses or stop the tears immediately, but I can fix my eyes, even when tear-filled, on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith and purpose in my heart to present my body as a living sacrifice and renew my mind by the washing of His word and choose joy, because He is the sustainer of our joy. 

A few other practical things I’m doing to reorient my thinking and keep things in perspective:

-I’m taking a mental health break away from Facebook and Next-door.  I don’t need one more preachy article about how anxious the secular world thinks we need to be right now and I’m tired of the memes and lectures

-Focusing more purposefully on the scripture passages I’m trying to memorize

-Taking time to pray whenever I feel the anxiety or depression rear up

-Talking through these things with my husband, who often has a great way of helping me see things in proper perspective

-Staying in God’s word and remembering that He is sovereign and His Providence is good all the time

-Listening to good podcasts (Truth for Life with Alistair Begg, Wretched Radio with Todd Friel, Just Thinking with Virgil Walker and Darrell Harrison)

-Making sure to take some time often to listen to doctrinally rich music

Because whatever a man trusts in, from that he expects happiness.  

Psalm 33:18-22

“Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him,

on those who hope in his steadfast love,

that he may deliver their souls from death

and keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the LORD;

he is our help and our shield.

For our heart is glad in him,

because we trust in his holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,

even as we hope in you.”

When I Awake

Psalm 17:15 

“As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.”

I read Psalm 17 today as part of my morning devotions, and when I got to the last verse I paused and did some thinking about this experience we’re finding ourselves in with social distancing and fear and anxiety about the novel coronavirus spreading, well, virally.  

Kevin DeYoung yesterday on Twitter said, “The devil has won a victory if he can get us to fear death more than we fear God.”  I’ve been thinking about this.  I have to confess that during this time of uncertainty and disruption of our routines and, more worryingly, our sense of control and ability to provide for ourselves, I am realizing that I have been idolizing security and control. Even today, I posted on Facebook about some frustration and anxiety I’m feeling. So what I’m about to write - I’m working through these things and fighting for joy in them, I haven’t perfected them.  

When we went grocery shopping the other day, there was no ground meat of any kind, no chicken, basically empty shelves in the meat department.  I guess we’re going to have to learn how to be vegetarians? Anyway, there was a little twinge of, oh, no, what will we do that invaded my heart.  I can’t say I’m overly anxious about contracting the virus, though that does factor in the general level of anxiety I’m feeling, but I can say that the whole unsettled nature of pretty much everything is causing anxiety.  And there is valid reason for that.  I’m thankful my husband’s job is “essential” - many people are struggling and scared as jobs are being lost daily and our economy is taking a huge hit. I am praying often for people who truly are finding themselves in the position of not being sure they will have a paycheck for much longer. And I am thankful that for now, our family has health.  So very many do not.  So very many are being affected by this virus - and so many other diseases and pestilences and tragedies. These are real fears. Lord, help us.  Lord, have mercy.

But Jesus told us to seek His kingdom first. That’s where I find myself examining my own heart today.  Do I want Jesus more than I want the false sense of security of well-stocked grocery store shelves? Do I trust Him, even when the outside circumstances are frightening and even when the voices of anxiety are so very loud all around us? (Sanity tip: less time on NextDoor and other social media, less time watching all day news is helpful!) I am not saying we shouldn’t plan ahead and be wise, and listen to the health officials and practice wise precautions…we should, of course. Out of love for our neighbors, if for no other reason, we should be listening and taking precautions, but lovingly, not hoarding. But in the midst of the planning, my attitude always needs to be, “Lord willing.” 

As I read that verse this morning, I was comforted in thinking that for the Christian, for the one who loves Jesus and whose life is hidden in Christ, we do not have to fear death.  Our ladies Bible study has been working through Romans 8, and I keep coming back to these anchor truths. Roman 8:29 tell us, “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”  Just yesterday during our Zoom meeting we discussed what it means that it says he predestined us to be conformed to the image of his Son. It means He will do it. It is a sure thing. If God is for us, who can be against us? He will do His will in us.  He will conform us to the image of His Son.  He is working all things to that end.  Even empty grocery store shelves?  Yes, indeed.  Even that. 

And for the Christian, what is the worst that can happen? If I die - I will awake and be satisfied with His likeness.  We get Jesus! Oh, dear reader, is Jesus precious to you? He is worthy of all worship and honor and praise.  Romans 8:31-35: “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.  Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?”

And so, the challenge today, when fears are real, dangers are more than theoretical, is….do I believe this? Not can I answer the questions on my Bible study sheet correctly and theologically, but do I believe this? Do I trust Him? Can I say with Job, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return.  The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” (Job 1:20-21) And, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him…” (Job 13:15). Do I trust that no matter what, in the end, I get Jesus?  I am going to Heaven.  Is that truly my hope?  This is where the peace of God, which passes all understanding and guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus comes from. Get that - the peace passes all understanding.  When all circumstances are screaming at us to be unsettled and anxious, where does our hope and peace come from? Lord, teach me to lay hold of this in the very depths of my soul.  Let this be what informs my living. Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!

Do you have this hope? Are you drowning in the anxiety of these unsettled and anxious times? Come to Jesus.  He alone is the way, the truth, and the life.  Lay down your sin, repent, and trust Him.  Every one of us will face God one day. Death may seem a little closer under the cloak called coronavirus, but truly, it’s always only a breath away for all of us.  We just don’t always live with the reminder quite so urgently thrust upon our consciousness.  It is a shame to fear death more than we fear the One we will face when we die.  And the hope of all hope is that Christ Jesus holds out the way of salvation in that when we come to die, if we are in Him, we are safe. We can rest in knowing that when we awake, we shall be satisfied with His likeness.  

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.” 

Out of the Heart the Mouth Speaks

Matthew 12:33-37

“33 Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit.  34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil?  For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  35 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.  36 I tell you, on the day  of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

I read this the other day and was grieved as I took a moment to think back over how I’ve used my words just in the past few days. If out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, what have my words said about my heart? Is what I’ve said to or about people edifying or hurtful? It grieves me to think how often ‘edifying’ has not been the adjective to describe my words and thoughts, but hurtful or prideful is. It really makes me cringe to look back and realize how careless I am, and how unkind at times. This is a good reminder to check my heart attitudes, how I think about other people, do I put the best construction on things or am I arrogant, prideful, presumptuous, or sinful in what I’m letting my mind think?  And how intently do I purpose to follow and obey Christ, even in how I think? As I think, so will I speak. Our words can be a very effective glimpse at how well we are battling sin at the heart level. How thankful I am for the grace and mercy of God to bring that scripture in front of me when I need it, and how incredibly thankful I am for His grace in that even this sin was forgiven at the cross. 

I got to thinking about this yesterday, too, while we were watching a movie we had wanted to see in the theater. What was overall a funny and fairly clean movie, was spoiled by an overabundance of casual blasphemy that was totally unnecessary in the dialogue.  I’ve noticed that our culture is getting more and more desensitized to this, and as culture is…..so am I.  It seemed that there was just so much more in-your-face taking of God’s name in vain in a movie where you wouldn’t have expected it that my husband and I noticed and commented on how surprised we were by it and how much we don’t like it and how totally unnecessary it was. It grieves me, too, that I can hear God’s name used flippantly and even laugh at the joke made with that added on and not be more bothered by it than I am.  It should bother us. I’m bothered that the more we surround ourselves with casual blasphemous talk, the more desensitized we are.  I don't say this to be legalistic, but that if it is true that out of the heart the mouth speaks, we need to be careful about what we allow to influence our hearts. When you hear coarse language and flippant, casual blasphemy often, it gets in there and makes it harder not to have it pop into your mind where you really don’t want it.

So, I’m thankful for God’s word and the Providential timing of reading this passage this week and how the Holy Spirit uses His word to bring to light sin that needs to be brought to light. This is a good thing to meditate on here at the end of one year and into the beginning of the new year. 

Not the Half Has Been Told

Hebrews 13:13-15 

“Therefore let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured.  For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come.  Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to our God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.” 

1 John 3:2-3 

“Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.

1 Corinthians 2:9

But, as it is written,

‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,

nor the heart of man imagined,

what God has prepared for those who love him - ‘“

My daughter and I were sitting together yesterday in the living room and looking at the Christmas tree with the pretty presents around it. She mentioned that she agrees with the character in a book we’ve read and enjoyed together when he said that he likes Christmas Eve best, better than Christmas morning because on Christmas Eve there is a sense of wonder and anticipation, and everyone is singing and worshiping Jesus and focusing on the truth and reason we celebrate when we are together at the Christmas Eve church service, and looking forward to Christmas….so much so, that sometimes the actual Christmas morning can almost feel like it’s over too quickly. We got to talking as we sat there looking at the pretty presents, with me knowing what is in most of those presents and knowing that for many the anticipation is more exciting that what is actually in them and how quickly that anticipation ends once they’re all opened and we have the clean up to deal with next, and we got to thinking that that could almost be a parable for how unsatisfying all of our idols ultimately are. Anything in this life that we look to other than Christ Himself for satisfaction will ultimately disappoint. That’s one reason I can't stand the worldly sentimentality of most secular Christmas music and movies.  It builds up this impossible expectation of the perfect holiday, perfect family time, that nothing could possibly live up to, and it leads to increased depression and hopelessness at a time when we should be focusing on the greatest hope of all, because so much of how our culture celebrates Christmas is devoid of any contemplation of Jesus and why He came, but focused purely on earthly idols that cannot fully satisfy when we rest too much hope upon them. Not that family and the joy of being together isn’t a good thing in itself, it is, but it is not where our ultimate hope must rest. As I’ve seen quoted from Tim Keller, “Idols will always break your heart.” 

My daughter and I got to talking about how there is only one thing that we can anticipate and hope for that when what we’ve been looking forward to and anticipating is fully known, we will not be disappointed. When we see Jesus, we will not be disappointed.  When we see Him and know Him as we are known, when we are eternally freed to worship Him without the taint of our fallen nature, well, we can’t even imagine what that will be like. Everything else pales in comparison.  Do you remember that old song that New Song used to sing about ‘Not the Half Has Been Told’? I’ve been thinking about that a lot today, and finally had to go find it and listen to it. Jesus is where our focus needs to be at Christmas and always, so that we are free to love our neighbors and to sing our songs in such a way that it will be obvious that we know and belong to God, our Abba Father, our Savior, and so that no matter what temporal disappointments we face in the everyday of our lives, our hearts beat with the cry and our actions are motivated by the thought, “Even so, come, Lord Jesus.” 

A Very Musical Monday

Isaiah 9:2-7

“2 The people who walked in darkness

         have seen a great light:

those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,

        on them has light shone.

3 You have multiplied the nation;

       you have increased its joy;

they rejoice before you

       as with joy at the harvest,

       as they are glad when they divide the spoil.

4 For the yoke of his burden,

       and the staff for his shoulder, 

       the rod of his oppressor,

       you have broken as on the day of Midian.

5 For every boot of the tramping warrior in battle tumult

       and every garment rolled in blood

       will be burned as fuel for the fire.

6 For to us a child is born,

       to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

       and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

      Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

7 Of the increase of his government and of peace 

      there will be no end,

on the throne of David and over his kingdom,

      to establish it and go uphold it

with justice and with righteousness

       from this time forth and forevermore.

The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.”

Isaiah 9:2 is one of my favorite verses, when you take time to really think about what it is saying. A friend of mine shared this song on Facebook today. I had not heard it before, but I very much liked it. As I listened, these words struck me and brought me to tears of wonder: “He who is mighty has done a great thing, taken on flesh and conquered death’s sting, shattered the darkness and lifted our shame….holy is His name.” Shattered the darkness and lifted our shame….oh ponder the magnitude of this! We no longer have to walk in darkness and sin and shame! 

Often during the Advent and Christmas season I am reminded of a conversation I had years ago with a friend from work who was a Jehovah’s Witness. She asked me, “Why celebrate Christmas? He hadn’t even done anything yet.” I remember feeling a bit astonished and kind of looking at her funny and saying, “Oh, but He had done a great deal already!” And I also explained that what we celebrate at Christmas doesn’t stop with the birth of Jesus, but we’re celebrating the whole thing - redemption, from the promise in Genesis 3:15 of a Savior, to the Cross, to the Resurrection and that He is the risen King of Kings. Hadn’t done anything yet??? Whenever I think about how blind that question was, it almost takes my breath away, and makes me so sad for my friend. What about fulfilling centuries of prophecy, the Virgin birth, God With Us - God taking on human flesh to become truly God and truly Man? The promised Savior stepped into time to redeem His people. All of Creation and all the Temple sacrifices had been pointing toward this Jesus.  Hadn’t done anything yet? Just ask the angels who proclaimed to the shepherds, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” (Luke 2:14). Hadn’t done anything yet? Just ask Simeon and Anna in the Temple when Joseph and Mary brought the Child about that. Simeon said, “Lord, now you are letting your servant depart in peace, according to your word; for my eyes have seen your salvation that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel.” (Luke 2:29-32)  

I agreed with my friend that day about Santa and all the stuff that gets all mixed up with the trappings of the holiday, and sadly takes precedence in the secular world at Christmas.  I can see how Christmas must be confusing to people who think The Polar Express is what we seem to think it’s all about (have I mentioned how much I hate that movie? And how much I can't stand sappy, overly sentimental shallow movies and songs? - sorry….), and that is truly unfortunate. What a shame to miss the depth and richness of what we actually celebrate at this time of year. I know, with that particular friend there was a world of difference in our understanding of who Jesus is, and Christmas was just one minor sticking point for her, but this time of year does remind me to pray for her, as I have for years, that someday she will know the real Jesus, know the true God, that the veil will be removed and she will be brought out of darkness into the light of knowing Jesus as the Savior, the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace before whom every knee will one day bow. She told me that day she thought I was being a little intense. I guess I was. This matters. 

Today as I listened to that song, I was so moved by that line, I think, in part, because I’ve been reading through the book of Revelation and thinking about Jesus and His triumph. While listening to my playlist later on today, this song came on, and again, I listened to it while considering Revelation and what I’ve been studying about Jesus and His extreme worthiness and His deep love for His people, and I just had to sing out loud in my kitchen. 

Christmas is beautiful because our God is gloriously beautiful.  Let the beauty of the glitter and the lights and the shimmer of the shining decorations be but a pale reminder of the splendor and brilliance of the Savior.  The rich symbolic language in Revelation is full of such an abundance of light and color and brilliance, let the beauty of this season cause you to reflect on the majesty of our Creator. This Advent season, let yourself be reminded again just how worthy of worship our God is, be reminded how majestic His salvation is - the whole plan to redeem fallen mankind, to save a people unto Himself and show them such love and mercy, be reminded of the fact that Christmas isn’t just about the Baby in the manger, no…what we celebrate is the whole grand story of our God who is with us, our God who is for us, our Savior who died and rose again to set us free from the curse of sin and who is the reigning King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The veil was torn in two from top to bottom and we who trust in Christ alone are made righteous and granted access to our God. 

The last song I want to share in this musical Monday post also came on my playlist this afternoon, and again I heard it through the lens of what I’ve been studying in Revelation and had to lift my hands and sing. I hope you can enjoy it, too.