First Day of School 2010 - Some of My "Mom Thoughts" on This Day

Isaiah 26:3

“You will keep him in perfect peace,

Whose mind is stayed on You,

Because he trusts in You.”

It feels funny to say this is my ‘favorite’ Bible verse, because how can I truly have a favorite when all Scripture is God-breathed and He has so graciously given us His very Word. But I will say this is one verse I find myself often pondering and rehearsing, especially when my thoughts are in turmoil or my heart is disquieted.

Today my boys went back to school. Seems like we had the shortest summer break ever. We do go back awfully early here, but I’m not really complaining because they get quite a few nice breaks throughout the year to offset the early August beginning. I also would be less than honest if I didn’t mention that part of me finds much peace in the return to a regular routine. I thrive on routine, and though they may not admit this to you, my children do as well. I also am not nearly disciplined enough in the summer to enforce much routine during those off days, so the return to school brings back a sense of order for us which is welcome once we settle back to it, though, again I'd be lying if I didn't tell you about the slight sinking feeling I felt as the school bus drove off with the boys and left the neighborhood and I felt it hard not to cry as I thought about how nervous they must be about going to a new school once again. Not to mention the fact that my oldest son started middle school today. Ack! That's a whole other blog post in and of itself, my friends. I also know that this afternoon they'll be just fine and telling me all the exciting things about today, but that first morning leaving on the bus is a little wrenching, for me. They seemed fine. It never gets any easier being mom, does it?

One thing that made this summer seem so very short was the fact that our family moved during the first week of July. I feel like we wasted away much of June just feeling like we were on hold, marking time until the big moving day arrived, especially once we had the little glitch in timing which I’ve blogged about earlier so I won’t bore you with that story again here. Most of July was spent trying to settle in and unpack, a task I am sad to say is still not completely finished. It doesn’t seem possible we’ve already been here for a month. Seems much shorter than that.

I’ve been thinking about moving and my children. I ache for them a little today, okay let’s be honest - I ache a lot. We are asking a lot of our kids with how often we’ve moved. Here we are plucking them up again and putting them into their third school in two years. That is a big thing we ask of them. The Army does a pretty good job of making the move as easy as possible, but, let’s face it, moving is HARD. I fear that as adults sometimes we are so caught up in our own stresses and anxieties and griefs as we struggle to keep it all together during and after the move that sometimes I wonder if we don’t fully acknowledge what our children are feeling and thinking and facing.

I also know that moving so often will give them a unique resilience and perspective I have had to learn as an adult. I lived in the same house from the time I was a year old until I went away to college, and my parents live in that same house still. My children do not have that. But I cannot tell you how proud of them I am as I watch them embrace the challenge of walking into a new school, moving to a new neighborhood and see it as an adventure and not a negative thing. They really amaze me with how well they handle it, because I look back at the me I was at that age and I just know how nervous and beside myself I would have been if I’d been asked to do what our boys are doing so well. Our God is a gracious God to enable these boys to do what they have to do.

When we moved to St. Louis, we knew it was temporary, and with my tendency to be a hermit, I was sorely tempted to keep up a wall and not build too many friendships because I knew it would hurt to leave so quickly. I have never been one to make friends easily, even with and maybe because of never having the challenge of moving every few years. I still struggle with that, and I have a hard time dropping the walls and really connecting with others. That’s one thing that made our pilgrimage in South Carolina so hard for me because I never really found that kindred spirit friendship I so often long for. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and he is my very best friend, but sometimes you just need the companionship of other women who love the Lord and with whom you can share that bond in a real way. Having a friend to grab a cup of coffee with and share the Word with in real, sisterly friendship is a rare treasure, I am finding. The church we grew to love in those 18 months made it impossible to erect those walls with any staying power, though, and I found healing from what I called my South Carolina wilderness as I connected and made good Christian friends, and I’m glad for that. I hope my children will keep fond memories of St. Louis in their hearts forever. And I pray we will find our place here in Kentucky, too.

So, as I sit here smelling the cookies that are baking in the oven in preparation for a first day back to school treat, I ponder the fears and hopes I have for my children. I know how inadequate I am in so many ways. I wish they had a better mother at times. But I also know that I serve a great Savior. And my sweet Lord chose me for these kids. He chose me to be their mom. And He will guard their hearts and lead Drew and me to train them up in the way they should go. How I pray that we will teach them well and teach them how to think biblically, in spite of all the other voices to which they are exposed. How I pray they will be drawn to the right kind of friends and that they will be more leaders than followers, that they will be willing to stand alone if to follow the crowd means to go against what they know is right. So I put my trust in Him, and He will keep me in perfect peace as I seek to love the ones He has entrusted to me. In spite of my failings, and they are so many, may He be glorified, may these children see Him and be drawn to Him by His grace.

Assembling Together

Hebrews 10:24-25

“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”

I love Sundays. I love meeting together with brothers and sisters in Christ to worship our God together. I love the encouragement to worship and to live out the Christian life that comes from the simple gathering together to worship through prayer and song and hearing the Word preached in truth. I love the kindness God showed us in not calling us to a Lone Ranger kind of existence but in calling us to His family. I love His kindness in making it not optional that we meet together, too. It is vitally important to worship Him in private, but there is just something other about worshiping alongside other believers who are also worshiping Him.

One of the things that made our time in St. Louis so very sweet was the church God brought us to before we had even fully moved there. Drew and I did some research online and found Parkway Baptist and just really believed we should visit there. When Drew went to St. Louis a month before the rest of us followed, we visited Parkway together when I flew up to visit him. Then he continued to visit there until I and the kids completed the move. We never felt the need to go anywhere else. It was with that portion of the Body that we knew we were supposed to join for the short time we had there. And the really neat thing about the relationships we formed there is that they will be eternal. Even if we don’t get to have much time together this side of heaven, we will be together there.

God, I believe, is showing His kindness once again to my family. Again we did some research ahead of time and found a church here in Kentucky where we thought we would like to visit. We have been visiting Northside Baptist Church since before we moved here (got to visit on a couple of house-hunting trips), and in the few weeks we’ve lived here, I have sensed the Spirit in a very real way each time we’ve joined with the church to worship - even the Sunday one of my kids got (quite and unexpectedly with no warning at all) sick right before the sermon and Drew had to take him out. The pastor later asked if he got sick or was Dad taking him out for some discipline. That horrified my son! We’ve NEVER had to take him out for misbehavior - he likes to be at church and always behaves.

Anyway, I am thankful for today. I heard some things that really touched my heart and that I want to continue to ponder this week and in days ahead. The pastor prayed before worship that this service would not be one where we sat on “cruise control” but that we would truly enter into worship. That pierced my heart, because lately I’ve kind of felt like I’m sort of living my life on “cruise control” at times and I don’t want to settle for that. I want to live on purpose, if that makes sense. Then the music pastor talked about how easy it is to trust God when things are going well and when we ‘feel’ Him. The hard thing is to trust Him when we don’t feel anything. That pierced me again. I mentioned earlier that I’m kind of in the blues right now. They say that moving is right up there with the major stresses of life, and if that’s so, I’ve had a few of those this year. That not feeling anything is an obstacle I face sometimes. I’m there right now. I think I’ve been in a bit of a slump since the miscarriage in February that, while not debilitating and something I try not to talk much about, is something that I still find myself needing to work through at unexpected times. But what a privilege to take even that to God in prayer. What an awesome salvation that we know that our hope is not in our feelings, but in His grace. Pastor’s sermon today contrasted Mt. Sinai, the mountain of Law, with Mt. Zion, the mountain of grace and forgiveness as we continued studying the book of Hebrews. He emphasized that Jesus is the Something better - just as I studied in the spring with our ladies’ Bible study. In fact, the “sermon in a sentence” was this today: “If we do not hinge our entire hope for salvation on coming to the mount of grace in repentance and faith, then we will be judged by the standards of the mount of law.”

Friends, I am so eternally grateful that Jesus is my High Priest and that His blood is what makes me right with God. I do not trust in my feelings, or lack of them. I trust in Him. I trust in what He did at Mt. Zion in offering this sinner a grace so rich, so full, so complete that I can hang all my hope on Him and trust Him.

The choir at our church in St. Louis sang a beautiful song recently called, “Lord, Have Mercy.” I sat there just overwhelmed as I looked at the empty cross in the baptistry and thought, “He has. Oh, He has shown us such mercy. That He came and endured the shame of the cross for the joy that was set before Him and would save such a sinner as me. Such incredible mercy.”

It has been a beautiful Sunday, and I am grateful.

Thinking Too Much Again

Haven’t blogged much in a while. Moving is an interesting endeavor. Busy combined with all kinds of emotions leads to a little bit of the blues for me. It always does. Add the blues to my normal back to school nerves, and you get me writing a blog post that's more emotionally motivated than I usually like to do. I guess I just had some thoughts I'm needing to work out. Hope I don't wish I'd just kept quiet later. Anyway, been doing some thinking as I go about the business of getting boxes unpacked and keeping things I’ve already organized neat and tidy, no easy feat with three bored kids at home.

I’ve decided that there are things about the back to school time of the year that I find, well, frankly, irritating. Because it’s at back to school time that the snarkiest of the home school comments start coming back around. I’ve already written about this here and here, but, well, let’s just suffice it to say that I’m stressed enough as it is, I don’t need the homeschool pressure right now. I’m very, very glad for those who do it, I know it is not easy and it has been an uphill struggle to get to where it is today. However, it isn’t for all of us.

At this point in my life, I don’t want to homeschool. There. I said it.

I know that a lot of the comments I hear and see and read have to do with how defensive my homeschooling friends feel because of the flack they get about socialization and with how hard it has been to get the respect and legal standings necessary to do it well. I’m not dishing out the flack. I know that if homeschooling is done right it can be an excellent and extremely wonderful and rewarding way to educate children. I'm even thankful it's a valid option out there. I’m not knocking homeschooling, so don’t hear me saying I am. To each his own, do what’s right for you and yours. However, I get a little tired of the superior and persecuted attitude that pops up a lot of times in discussions about it - not in every discussion, but I'm sure you know what I mean. You aren’t the only ones who are being criticized for your choice about schooling. It goes both ways. There is a growing pressure on and judgment of those of us in the seriously, biblically Christian community about homeschooling that I am just, frankly, tired of. I am not a worse mother because my children go to school outside my home, so I really wish we could stop taking quotes out of context and implying that all kids who go to school are bullied or scarred in some horrible way.

Here’s the thing, for those who know my kids, I mean really know them, can you honestly say that Drew and I have done them a disservice by not homeschooling them? I don’t believe we have. I do believe it is our duty and responsibility to look out for what is best for them and to protect them and train them up in the way of the Lord. How we do so is between us and Him.

Here’s another thing, for all the discussion about ‘socialization’ and how bad public school is about negative socialization, can I just be very, bluntly honest about something which may be a little shocking? Most of my bitterness and emotional hurt that I still struggle to overcome did not come at the hands of my public school friends. Most of those hurts that well up in me unexpectedly at times and which I have to remember are over and done with came from church youth group and my own internal insecurities and misunderstandings. Just being honest. I stumbled across a site recently with pictures from my old youth group - some from my time and some much later, and at first I really enjoyed looking and remembering. But before I knew it, there was this empty, hurt feeling welling up in me and I wondered, “What is this? Where is this coming from?” And that empty, hurt feeling was all too familiar. I told my husband that I really like who I am now, and I really like our life together, and so much of my life has been since high school and youth group and so much of who I am has developed in the years since, so why did it take a few pictures to bring back all that emotional hurt I thought I had left behind? I did not leave behind my faith, mind you, but I did leave behind the pecking order and unkind joking and other things that marked a lot of my time in youth group. I do not mean to imply that everything about our youth group was bad. There was MUCH that was so good and beneficial for which I am thankful. But there was a lot of hurt along the way, too. My husband, wise man that he is, told me that I wouldn’t be who I was today if I had not lived through those experiences, all of them, though, and he’s right.

Anyway, my point is, you can shelter your kids from public school, but don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re sheltering them from the emotional hurt that can come from pecking orders, bullying or just the angst and unkindness of teenagers. The worst of that for me was not experienced at school. There's probably a whole other discussion we could have about the benefits vs. non-benefits of church youth groups and what we adults need to be doing about it, but that's for another time.

So, dear friends, homeschooling is a great option. It is not, however, for everyone - even some of your Christian brothers and sisters, so please understand and lets all of us, all of us, and I am so talking to myself too, please guard against pride in how we discuss the issue. And I hope I don’t regret posting this later. Not looking to start an argument.

Just tired of having to hear it all again every stinkin’ July/ August. I’ll just hit the post button and walk away from the computer now.

Some Pictures to Share

To my Mom and Dad, I thought you might like to see these:

We visited the Arch one more time before leaving St. Louis. The first time we visited the Arch it was about minus 2 degrees (we moved to St. Louis in December) and not very crowded, and this day it was at least 102 degrees and terribly crowded. It was extremely hot, anyway. Summer is like that. I like this picture, but I never seem to have pictures of the whole family because Drew is always the one taking the picture. Still a cool picture, though. Look how big the boys are getting:

She had to "touch the 'Rainbow Arch'" one more time:

I love this picture!

Princess Rachel decided to dress Roscoe up in her angel wings. He was not amused:


Our longsuffering dog:

Status Report - July 2010

Sitting....at my new computer desk in our new house! Finally have internet as of this afternoon. Two weeks without internet or TV is a LONG time. I went to the library the other day to try and check in with Facebook so I could answer a few posts and a friend request, but the policy which was posted prominently right by the computers there said no social networking, so, being the rule follower I am, I refrained, twitchy though my fingers were. I feel like I know more about what’s going on with Harry Potter than I do with the real world at the moment. We arrived at our new house last Friday and the moving truck finally got here on Tuesday. And today the cable/computer guy finally got here to hook us up. Ahhh. Mom, Dad, family.....I do have a new phone number now, too. I’ll get it to you as soon as I figure out what it is.

Eating.....homemade salsa and chips which I made last night in my new kitchen. (The salsa I made, I mean....not the chips.) Well, I was eating that right before I was interrupted and we went on some errands, but I’m back at the computer now and I’m not eating anything because I’m full from dinner now. But the chips and homemade salsa were a really good snack way back earlier this afternoon when I started this post.....the post which may take me a while to finish because I’ve been so long without the ability to blog that I just really want to say some things even if they are totally boring to anyone else. :-)

Drinking....sweet tea that I made in our new kitchen on my new stove. Sensing a trend here? By the way, I very much like the new cooktop stove we have. I’ve never cooked on one before, and I must say I quite enjoyed how evenly the skillet heated this morning and how nice the fried eggs I cooked for my middle son turned out. I’ve never gotten them to cook so nicely before. He might get them more often now. He will be pleased. Cooking may just become enjoyable again.

Surprised...that when I got on the Wii Fit Plus yesterday for the first time in two weeks it told me I had lost 3.5 pounds since last time. Woo-hoo! I guess the stress of the first movers cancelling on us and being unsettled for the last two weeks and all the stresses of cleaning the apartment and unpacking here are one way to finally get the scale moving in the right direction. That means I will have to make my salsa, chips and sweet tea a rare treat and not a regular occurrence.

Swamped....in boxes. We really have too much stuff. One good thing about moving: purging some of the too much stuff. The packers probably would have liked it if we’d purged before they packed, but we didn’t. I’ve made a lot of headway but still lots to do. The kids are going to VBS this coming week and Drew and I plan to get MUCH done during those evenings, too. The thing about moving is that by the time the moving truck finally got here we were so tired from the cleaning, packing and sleeping on an uncomfortable air mattress and not having any chairs for DAYS that it makes the unpacking a little...daunting. But we’re almost there.

Hoping....we can stay put for a while here. I really don’t want to do this again real soon. Moving is hard. It is really funny hearing Rachel get lost in her new house though. Can’t tell you how many times I hear a little voice calling, “Where’s the bathroom?” or “Where is my room again?” Poor thing. It’s hard for adults, but I think it’s even harder for a 4-year-old. She misses her St. Louis friends. It’s a little sad hearing her talk on her toy phone and having pretend conversations with them.

Laughing...at this advertisement that was stuck in our mailbox: “Suddenly Slender Body Wraps - 100% inorganic Minerals & Enzymes & Sea Extracts.” I guess if it’s 100% inorganic that means it’s all completely man-made, nothing natural about it at all? Wonder if it was proofread before copying and passed out or if they really thought inorganic would be a great selling point? Funny!!

Reading....the Harry Potter series. After a lot of thought and consideration and reading about them, I finally decided I would read the books and then talk about them with the boys. Surprised myself by really enjoying them. I’m on book 5 so don’t give me any spoilers yet! I did tell the boys I had to read them first, so they are reading them as I finish them. We have had some really good discussions as they are reading them after me.....learning to read thoughtfully. On a side note, it was a little weird this past few weeks without internet and cable when I realized at one point I knew more about what was going on at Hogwarts than I did what’s happening in the real world. It’s nice to be connected again. We had to buy a newspaper on Sunday just to find out what’s going on out there.

Feeling.....sad about friends we had to leave behind in St. Louis. I already miss you all. But I’m also excited about the adventure ahead. This seems like it will be a good place to live, too.

Thankful...for the great worship service and Sunday School class at the church we visited last Sunday; we heard great teaching from the pastor and the Sunday School teacher. Looking forward to visiting there again tomorrow and the kids get to join the kids there at Saddle Ridge Ranch VBS next week. They already know the songs from Parkway Baptist’s VBS. At least they’ll get to meet some new kids.

Sinking in....that my oldest son will be a middle schooler this year. Ack! With all the hoop-lah of moving I’ve been able to block out that little stressor, but now it is quickly upon us. I have to go on Monday and get him signed up for the 6th grade orientation and then on the 22nd get to go register him for 6th grade and my middle boy for 4th grade. How did these kids get so big? Joshua is going to be taller than me before I know it. He’s only 3 inches shorter than me now. Not that I’m all that tall, but still. When did this happen?

Ending....this post. Lots to do, but glad to get to blog again.

*Once again I thank Lisa for not minding too much when I copy her status report format. It's truly a blog-saver..... :-)

Plans

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit’; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.’ “ James 4:13-15

“There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the LORD’s counsel - that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3

As it turns out, the last post was not, in fact, my last post before moving. I started to say this one is, but, well, I don’t think I’ll say that now.

People who know me know that I am much more comfortable with control and order than I am with flying by the seat of my pants and chaos. However, over the years, thanks in part to my much more easy-going husband, I have learned to roll with the punches much easier than I used to.

Good thing.

I think maybe I needed a reminder that my plans are not sovereign. I am thankful for the grace in my life over the past years that has helped me to slowly loosen my grip on control and learn to face each challenge with a good and trusting attitude.

Are you wondering why I’m bringing this up at this particular season in my life?

Enter the adventure of a move to Kentucky for the Sweet Tea With Lemon household. The company which the Army contracted to move us and many others from St. Louis this summer has known for over a month that we were some of the ones to be moved and that they had a large contract with many families to be moved. Last month a representative came and evaluated our stuff and gave us a contact name who would be our agent throughout the process. Drew talked to said agent several times during the past month. On Friday he talked to the company again and was told that we were good to go for the packers to come on Tuesday. That would be today. Since I am sitting here in my dining room at my normal computer desk typing a blog post, it would seem there may have a been some kind of glitch. That would be correct.

On Monday a representative from the Army called and informed us that the company they had contracted for our move had cancelled us over the weekend and did not inform the Army until Monday morning. The day before the packers were to arrive. After Drew had been assured on Friday that all was on schedule. Our lease is up and utilities are scheduled to be shut off on the 30th of this month. The Army scrambled and now there is someone new scheduled to come on the 30th to start packing our stuff and get it on a truck to Kentucky.

Nothing like planning ahead and then having that plan yanked out from under you.

The really cool thing is that I didn’t panic when I got the phone call yesterday. A few years ago, I would have been in a full blown panic. I wasn’t happy about it, we have had to make some major reshuffles in our plans, but I wasn’t panicked. Thanks be to God for the heart work He has done in me over the years in this regard. I keep reminding myself that He is in control and it’s going to be okay. And it is.

I know that I belong to Christ, and He has a plan for my life and all things will work together for good and for His glory. I also am learning that when I keep my mind fixed on Him, He keeps me in perfect peace. So, I’m learning to hold my plans lightly. Make plans, yes, but hold lightly and trust Him to guide us through it. And that’s a good place to be.

A Thought From My Bible Reading

As it seems that I am on a rather unplanned blogging break, I think I’ll go ahead and make it an official one for a little longer. The packers come next week so things are getting exciting around here. And busy, did I mention busy? I would appreciate prayers as the next few weeks will be stressful as we pack and relocate and get all the little details of moving finished and then begin to settle into our new home. Because of all that, I do not anticipate having much brain power for thoughtful blog posts until the boxes are unpacked, or at least unloaded, on the other side of this journey. Moving is hard. Exciting, yes, but hard. There’s a reason moving is ranked up there with some of life’s most intense stresses.

Before I go I wanted to share something encouraging I found while reading through 2 Chronicles a few days ago. I need to give a little background first. After the nation of Israel divided, the northern kingdom, Israel, had a series of kings - none of whom did what was right in the sight of the LORD. In fact they led the people in gross idolatry and wickedness. Consequently the northern kingdom was taken captive by Assyria. The southern kingdom, Judah, was some better, though the number of kings who did not do right in the sight of the LORD is distressingly high. But throughout its history there did arise kings who would repent and lead the people to restore true worship of the LORD God. Hezekiah was one such king.

In 2 Chronicles 29-32 we read about Hezekiah’s reign. He followed the wicked king Ahaz who was increasingly unfaithful to the LORD, and when Hezekiah became king, he repaired the doors of the temple and brought in the Levites and priests and called them to sanctify themselves and clean out the temple and restore proper worship. After consecrating the temple, he planned to keep the Passover, which had not been done for years. While the plans were being made, he sent letters to the remnant of those who were left in the northern part of Israel and invited them to the Passover celebration in Jerusalem.

Here is what he said: “Children of Israel, return to the LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel; then He will return to the remnant of you who have escaped from the hand of the kings of Assyria. And do not be like your fathers and your brethren, who trespassed against the LORD God of their fathers, so that He gave them up to desolation, as you see. Now do not be stiff-necked, as your fathers were, but yield yourselves to God, that the fierceness of His wrath may turn away from you. For if you return to the LORD, your brethren and your children will be treated with compassion by those who lead them captive, so that they may come back to this land; for the LORD your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn His face from you if you return to Him.”

Some of the people who received this summons laughed and mocked. However, some from the tribes of Asher, Manasseh, and Zebulun humbled themselves and came to Jerusalem. It also says that the hand of God was on Judah to give them singleness of heart to obey the command of the king and the leaders at the word of the LORD. In response, a large group of people assembled in Jerusalem to keep the Feast of Unleavened Bread in the second month. They took away the pagan altars and cast them in the Brook Kidron and slaughtered the Passover lambs on the fourteenth day of the month.

But there was a problem. Many in the assembly had not sanctified themselves, so the Levites had the charge of slaughtering the Passover lambs for everyone who was not clean, to sanctify them to the LORD. It says that a multitude of the people, many from those northern tribes who came, had not cleansed themselves, but they ate the Passover contrary to what was written in the Law.

Now we come to the part I found so interesting. Hezekiah prayed for those people who were not properly cleansed to eat the Passover. Listen to his prayer: “May the good LORD provide atonement for everyone who prepares his heart to seek God, the LORD God of his fathers, though he is not cleansed according to the purification of the sanctuary.” And the LORD listened to Hezekiah and healed the people.

As I read through this account, I was struck with the mercy and grace that was shown to those northern tribes, first in being included in the call to the celebration of the Passover and then in the LORD’s willingness to accept their worship. This people who through their entire history had been characterized by apostasy and idolatry were offered grace and mercy. This remnant of all that was left of the kingdom of Israel was given opportunity to join in the worship of the God they had for so long rejected. Hezekiah could have just ignored them and focused on Judah, but he included his brothers in the north, not because of anything they had done but because of God’s covenant with His people, and they were given opportunity to be restored to their God as they prepared their hearts to seek Him.

What a picture this is which points to the grace we have been shown by God in Christ! I, who was a sinner lost in my sin with no thought for God, was given the grace to believe and repent and have been accepted and forgiven because of Christ. The atonement Hezekiah requested is ultimately accomplished through the blood Jesus shed on the cross. His resurrection is the proof of our hope. Not because of anything I had done, but because of His grace can I repent of my sin and rest all of my hope in Christ and be reconciled to God. He has cleansed me, who had no way to cleanse myself, and He has made me clean and holy to stand in His presence, clothed in His righteousness. What riches His grace bestows on this forgiven sinner!

No matter how many times I read through the Old Testament, I am continually amazed at the revelation of Himself that God gives us through the accounts of His interactions with His people. You so often hear people say that the God of the Old Testament is all wrath and judgement but the God of the New Testament is all love. This is a mischaracterization of God and a misreading of His word. There is not one God in the Old Testament and another in the New. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is eternal, the Alpha and Omega, without beginning or end, forever the same, forever worthy of worship and praise. Yes He is a God of justice and His wrath is real and awesome, but His mercy and grace and love and patient lovingkindness are also so evident the more I read and study His word. To miss those attributes in the Old Testament is to not read it with understanding. The more I read, the more I see that Jesus is the full revelation of God in all His attributes. Amazing grace!

And with that thought, I leave the blog until I get set up again in our new home. See you on the other side of our move!

Status Report - June 2010

Joining Lisa in sharing a status report this month:

Sitting.....in my dining room at my messy computer desk.

Drinking....Irish Breakfast Tea. Yes, I am living on the edge this afternoon.

Thinking.....that I should probably clean up the computer desk, but energy is at a severe low at the moment. Hence the Irish Breakfast Tea.

Saying.... “No” to the little voice in my head that keeps telling me to bake some chocolate chip cookies this afternoon. Do you have an insistent little voice like that too?

Enjoying...the new Wii Fit Plus my husband bought for my birthday. I’m exercising more with it than I do when I manage to get myself to the Y, and that’s good. This is why I’m not making cookies this afternoon. I really want to see some progress on the weight loss goal finally.

Doing....a little better about moderating my time on Facebook and computer in general. It does reduce certain agitation when I’m on the computer less.

Reading.....Ashamed of the Gospel by John MacArthur.

Deciding....whether to go ahead and read a popular series of older children’s books that I really had little desire to read and which everyone but my children and I seem to have read. The boys want to read them, but I said I’ll have to read them first and decide if they can and what I’d want to talk to them about. The boys have been really good about not whining or pulling the, “But Mom, all my friends have read them,” card. They just asked is all.

Disturbed....by how dark many of the selections in the young adult fiction genre seem to be. Doesn’t anyone write about anything besides vampires anymore?

Wishing....my boys liked The Hardy Boys as much as I did when I was their age. Sigh.

Thinking...we could have gone ahead and visited the pool earlier today. That storm I thought was coming amounted to little. Now I don’t really feel like swimming.

Trying...not to panic as I realize how soon the moving date will be here and feeling a little overwhelmed with hoping I’m not forgetting anything important that needs doing before then.

Pleased....with how very well-behaved the kids have been so far during this first full week of summer break. We had several not very fun errands yesterday, and not one kid complained. We did have lunch at Chick-fil-A to break the yuck of the rest of the errands. I’m not heartless.

Needing.... to take my oldest boy clothes shopping. These kids are growing too fast. I realized he really needs Sunday shirts, shorts and short-sleeved shirts. Pretty much a new wardrobe. None of us like shopping, but it must be done and soon. When he came down wearing the same shirt on Sunday that he's worn for the last few weeks I realized we might be having a need.

Sad....that we will have to leave before our Sunday School class finishes the book of Revelation. So far we’ve just finished chapter 4. We have a very gifted teacher who LOVES God’s word and I really am sad to miss the rest of this study.

Irritated...that I got a summons to appear in court soon in the case of my broken car window and stolen purse. Just one more inconvenience this person is causing by her crime. I’m glad they caught someone, though. I’m just hoping when I call the day before my scheduled date they’ll tell me I don’t have to appear. That would be nice. I get so intimidated in those kinds of settings.

Tired....of feeling tired a lot of the time. I’m really hoping that consistent exercise will boost my metabolism and help that a little.

Thankful....that I can rest in knowing that God will lead us to the right church once we do move in a few weeks. I’m so thankful for the Body of Christ.

Wondering...how such a hermit like me ended up with a daughter who’s first words every single morning are, “Where we go today?” She’s crying right now because I do not have anywhere planned to go at the moment.

Happy....to see the sun coming out this afternoon. I think it’s time to take the kids out to play.

Memorial Day

"Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored." - Daniel Webster

Lest we forget:

Birthday Thoughts

And so today I begin my last year in my thirties. It feels weird to say I’m 39 now. Not bad, just weird.

For my birthday my family gave me a Hershey’s cookbook (they do know me well, don’t they?) and a Wii Fit Plus (they also know my weight loss struggle well). Do you think the one will counteract the other? Seriously, I’m kind of excited about the exercise games. I’ve already set my goals. It was a nice surprise from my husband, and I think my son was more excited than I was about opening the presents. He knew what was in there. I’m looking forward to the actual exercise part, but it is also fun playing the games with the kids - especially the one where you get to fly in the chicken suit. Funny. We even got to put a Mii for the dog in the Wii Fit plaza and that’s just too cute. Even little Boo gets a Mii - she likes the chicken flying game, too.

I suppose I should take time to be reflective on this my 39th birthday, but I don’t so much feel very reflective this morning. Considering I spend a lot of time over thinking, that’s probably not a bad thing today. Contentment is something I’m beginning to understand better as I get older, and I’m so thankful for this. I do pray this year will be one of faithfulness. I think that is the one thing I want to see most in my life is a steady and growing faithful, deep commitment to my Savior. I want to walk with Him each day and take His word to heart and apply it as I read it and learn more of Him. What an awesome God we serve. How overwhelming his mercy and grace and love. And I thank Him for my 39 years of life. How I pray I will not waste the time I still have here.

Much Food For Thought

I read this by R.C. Sproul, Jr. the other day about Facebook and it was convicting to me. So much so that I turned the computer completely off yesterday, and don't plan on being on much today at all, either. I enjoy Facebook, but it can very easily become, at the very least, a time drainer and distraction from more important things each day. At the most, I uncomfortably found that I could relate to the 10 things he discussed about Facebook on various levels. Basically he's taking a look at our use of Facebook through the lens of the Ten Commandments, and it's not a bad idea to be more purposeful in looking at what we do and why we do it and how it's affecting our heart. And, as he rightly says, you can apply these to pretty much everything in the exercise of recognizing the wickedness and deceitfulness of the heart.

So, I'm pondering my use of time - on the computer and off - and finding that some real changes must be made. If I can't use Facebook and blogging in a good way or they become too important to me, it will be time to turn them off completely.

Glad I read that post. Much housecleaning to be done.

HT: Kim from Hireath

Some Random Thoughts

I’d like to get back to blogging more often. I just finished backing up my blog. Every so often I copy everything into my journal file on my computer just in case something happens to Blogger (oops, typed Blooger again). I know most of my posts are rambling, but I work hard on them and they are meaningful to me even if no one else cares and I’d like to not lose them. Anyway, I’d gotten behind by about 5 months and that was a chore, let me tell you. But it did make me remember why I blog and want to get back to it on a more regular basis. Facebook seems to have put a crimp in my real blogging.

The boys’ last day of school was today! Summer vacation is officially here. We celebrated by meeting Drew at Sonic and having some ice cream. Now that they’re home, I may have to be creative about finding time to blog, but I still want to get back to it.

The boys wanted to go swimming this afternoon, but something is wrong with me I think. I am so tired so much of the time these days and I just didn’t want to swim today. Cup of coffee this afternoon is helping some. During the pregnancy and miscarriage in February they did find something off with my thyroid numbers, so I’m going to be getting that looked at now that my hormones are back to normal. As normal as they ever are with me anyway. I’m waiting until the move, though. No time to get anything going here now. TMI, I know....

I think I’m just now coming up from a bit of a low time, too. Things are looking sunnier all of a sudden. I think the miscarriage hit me in ways I haven’t even begun to recognize, and that’s just how it is. I have tried not to talk about it and the lows too often because I don’t want to drive people away, but I know some of the tiredness stems from all the residual stuff of such things. God is good all the time, and I am so thankful for the hope, real and living hope I have to cling to everyday. Life is good. It’s not always easy, but it’s good. But that may be one reason it's I haven't had much blogging going on lately.

Some of the lows are also related to the coming move, I think. I feel myself pulling back and feeling more emotionally distant as the date looms closer. I don’t like to be that way, but sometimes I can’t help it. One of the hardest things about moving is the unsettled feelings immediately before and after. Again, God is in control and it will all be good. I’m excited about the move, but not excited about having to say farewell. You all know how I am about goodbyes, right? I’ll have to post some pictures of the new house soon. That’s exciting.

I’ve decided I tend to over think things. A lot. I don’t think I’m going to change. Just pointing it out is all.

I’m reading an interesting book these days. Ashamed of the Gospel: When the Church Becomes Like the World by John MacArthur. Interesting and timely for us as we will be starting that journey to find a new church soon. Praying we look at the right things.

I’m looking forward to some fun things to do with the kids this summer. For my Mythbusters loving boys I’m going to pull out some books of science experiments that we have and plan to do one (or more) each week. Also plan to take them swimming and not be the bummer I was this afternoon. :-) I need to plan well, however. I know from experience I often have good ideas but am not so good at follow-through. I also want to continue reading the book series we’ve been reading for what seems like forever with them and move on to something new.

And that’s about it for now. Didn’t really mean this post to be a downer. I don’t feel all that down. Feeling better, even, now that the caffeine is kicking in. I probably ought to kick the caffeine habit, but I probably won’t. :-)

Now it’s time to get ready for the spaghetti supper at church and Awana end of the year thing.

Okay, I Did Say "Maybe" Last Time....

So, I was done with the whole LOST thing until my friend shared this with me on Facebook and it was just too funny not to share. For all those people who are saying those of us who wanted more answers just don't get it....pheh.

See more funny videos and Entertainment Videos at Today's Big Thing.

To Whom It May Concern:

Dear clothing manufacturers: I really miss pants that fit at my natural waist, not below it, and were made of looser fitting cotton, not this weird stretch stuff that plasters itself to my more-generous-than-I-would-like thighs and belly, which after having three children and coming up on my 39th birthday in just days now will never, and I mean never be flat again and I’m really okay with that except that your stupid stretch fabric and below the normal waist pants end up making me look and feel even fatter even than I really am, which makes me discouraged and frustrated and I hate it. I don’t feel that way in the older pants I have that I keep wearing because I won’t wear these crazy things you make now. Even when I was 20 I didn’t really want to share every curve, and certainly not my underwear, with the world, and I sure don’t now, I'd much rather leave it to the imagination. Trust me, you'd rather I did, too. Honestly, I’m also tired of seeing....let’s just say much more of other people than I should ever see of a stranger’s rear view. I just accidentally ruined my last remaining sane pair of black pants when there was bleach on the counter I didn’t realize was there, and I must say I cried harder than that would normally warrant because I know that I won’t be able to find any that fit like that in any stores that I have found yet these days, which I was reminded when I was foolish enough to get excited today when I found a pair that looked exactly like my favorite black pants and was made by the same company, but, sadly, when I tried them on were not like my old pair and fit below the natural waist and clung to me in all the wrong places, meaning they went back to the rack and I went home without new pants. Again. So, seriously, please please please please get a clue and a heart and make clothes that normal people who give a fleeting thought about modesty will feel comfortable wearing. Thank you.

My Last Post About LOST....Maybe***Updated at the End, and Now I'm Really, Really Done :-)***

In which I write an impossibly long post that probably no one will read.

I feel kind of dumb writing about a TV show. In the grand scheme of things, it’s just a TV show, after all. Who really cares? But I did have a few things to say, some directly about LOST, some more indirect but that the season finale left me thinking regarding how I process things like TV shows and books and stories and pop culture.

I enjoyed the series LOST. I did not love the ending, but after thinking about it and reading some blog friends, I don’t hate it like I did right after watching it. It is not the direction I would have taken the show, but I know from some reading that it is where the creators always intended it to go, and they are the ones who wrote it, so they get to decide.

Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer pretty much summed up how I felt about the ending in her post here. For a show that was incredibly plot driven and character driven, it was a let down at the end to find that the plot twists that were developed in agonizingly slow and meticulous detail during parts of the series weren’t really all that important at all. In fact, so unimportant that I kind of wonder what some seasons were about anyway. Some questions were left hanging to the point where I don’t really see why they were there at all. For example, who were the Others really and why were they so antagonistic toward the Losties when so many of the Losties were Jacob’s candidates? My only answer for that one is that the point seems to have been that the Losties’ main objective was to survive on the island, and the Others gave them a lot to survive against. What about the BIG deal that was made about Walt and the raft and the Others during that season? Turned out to go nowhere, really, except that it did cement the friendship between Jin and Sawyer. And don’t come swooping in here telling me it’s because the actor who played Walt grew up too fast. They really dropped the ball on that whole story line - in fact on the whole ‘Others’ story line in my opinion. The biggest unanswered question for me is, “Why did the people of the Dharma Initiative have to be murdered? Who ordered it?” It just doesn’t fit to me for it to be Jacob, yet Richard was there and a part of it, and we thought the Others were following Jacob. I’m not so sure about that, because I think maybe Ben thought he was following Jacob but it was really Smokey/Man in Black all along. Telling us it wasn’t about weird stuff happening on the island but really just about the characters just doesn’t cut it for me.

Anyway, now that we’ve seen the finale, it is clear that none of that mattered. It wasn’t about the island minutiae as much as it was the main characters, and especially Jack. I always thought it might be largely about Jack and his ‘redemption’ and it turns out that seems to be just what it was about - I don’t really like to use that term because ‘redemption’ in LOST terms is NOT Christian redemption by any means, but for the purposes of discussing this strangest of shows, I’ll use it here. The other characters were important, too, but the show was really about Jack, it seems. I did enjoy reading Leslie’s take on the ending and the discussion following her post. Helped me not to hate the ending but to more dislike it.

I get that the show was very character driven, and that people matter and that we should care about their stories. What was disappointing in the ending, however, was to find that it was really ONLY about them. Because, I don’t know about you, but the build up with the plot devices really led us down a roller coaster to get to the point where we find that they were ONLY a device to get these characters together to interact and learn to ‘live together or die alone.’ Great lesson, great emotional moments, but, really? The plot really was that unimportant in the end? I didn’t expect them to answer everything, but the whole purgatoryish ending was just sappy to me. The way I felt after the finale was like craving good chocolate but all you get is that nasty cheap Easter bunny chocolate instead. It's chocolate alright, but not nearly as satisfying as, say, a Ghirardelli chocolate. I almost would have liked a more sci-fi ending where they got to live an alternate reality or something and have some other meaning to the island mysteries than just that it wasn’t really about the island at all. I get the point that people are really what matters, I’m not dense, but still....

I did like some of the emotional moments at the end as the characters remembered who they were, especially Sawyer and Juliet - to me that was the best part of the whole finale. That was done very well. Looking at the show as a whole, taking a long view of it and blurring out the details, the writers did a great job of showing how the characters grew and learned to give to and for others and by bringing their story arcs to a resolution. Well done. Now that I know it was really about that, I can appreciate the ending in that way. It's just that during the journey they really led us to think the story details were more important than they ended up being. One thing I didn’t like was I wish Charlie had not been such a reprobate in the in-between time. Even though they didn’t remember their lives, shouldn’t it have reflected some of the growth they’d worked so hard for on the island? Jack’s character did. And Charlie, especially, had changed so radically on the island, it was disappointing to me to have him be such a mess in the in-between time.

I didn’t like the implication that was made quite overtly, quite obviously, quite heavy-handedly and so totally in your face that faith doesn’t really matter at all but that it’s about self-redemption and knowing yourself and learning to live together so you don’t die alone that ended up being THE message of the entire show. I told you I was pretty sure I wouldn’t like the faith implications once the ending came, and I was right to think so. Before you jump on me and tell me that I shouldn’t expect a show from Hollywood to match my worldview, hear my point, please. I didn’t expect a Christian resolution. I wasn’t watching for one or hoping for one and it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a show if they don’t hold my worldview. I can still appreciate the show for what it was. And, for the most part, I did enjoy it.

BUT, if you think that the writers weren’t trying to send a message with that ending, think again. There have been hints all along that ‘faith’ isn’t always a good thing, and that’s exactly where I was sure the show was heading, and it did. One thing I disliked about the show all along was the subtle subversion of religious faith, and some of it was very subtle. Another thing I didn't like was the blurring between good and evil that was never resolved, even in the end. That scene in the ‘church’ where all the religious symbols were there? I would have liked the ending better if they’d been a little less obvious and left out the symbols and just ended it and let viewers draw their own conclusion. The fact that they very obviously placed those symbols prominently in what was clearly a gateway to ‘moving on’ in the afterlife was clearly making a statement, and not a subtle one. In a show where the people behind it were not shy about saying all along the way that they were exploring and discussing ‘deeper’ questions, it is not wrong for me to point out the dangers of the conclusion they are clearly drawing, that religious faith is pointless, what really matters is community and learning to love and live together and sacrifice for each other and redeem yourself through that - faith in yourself and your purpose and your relationships and not worrying so much about who is ‘right’. The writers are free to push that view, but I’m also free to point out how empty it is ultimately. Precisely because they showed us in the end that the plot itself wasn’t that important but it was always about the characters shows me that this was the message they intend to send - humanism in a postmodern mindset.

I know it’s just a TV show. I get it. I know that they don’t have to hold my worldview. Fine, they’re free to advocate any agenda they want. But I watch everything filtered through a biblical worldview, and what I couldn’t help being bothered by is that, though it’s just a TV show, it did deal with deeper life issues and thoughts. And people are discussing those things, which is a good thing. So, as part of the discussion, I’m adding here that self-redemption won’t cut it. As good as community and working together and love and marriage and all those things are, they are empty in and of themselves. There is a hereafater, and there is a God who will call all men to account. Apart from Christ there is no hope of peace in life or death. And what bothers me is that the view presented at the end of LOST really is what a lot of people hold if you get right down to it - that it will all be okay as long as you’re true to your ‘purpose’ and you sacrifice for others and learn to love others, that’s what matters, and even if you’re not, there will be a way to make it right. Seems to me the message here was let’s just all get along and not worry about religious truth claims because they are irrelevant in the long run. Getting along is what matters. In the LOST view, it didn’t even matter if they were ‘good’ people before ‘moving on’. Like I was saying about Charlie, shouldn’t his in-between existence have shown some residual of the growth on the island?

The only reason I even bother to think any of this through is because everything influences our worldview. Everything we read or watch or talk about influences how we think, and we need to know how to discern even our entertainment. I’m not saying only watch and read things that agree with a Christian worldview. I’m not saying LOST wasn’t a good show. I enjoyed it and enjoyed the discussion and thought it provoked. That’s good. I am saying be aware that once you strip away the trappings of the island this show really reflects how a lot of people in our culture think about issues like faith and religion and the ‘deeper’ issues the show explored. I am saying be aware how very subtly things like TV shows and books and pop culture can influence the deeper way we think about things and don’t be afraid to digest even entertainment through a rigorous look at the worldviews behind it. That’s not a bad thing to do. And in all of that be grounded in the word of God so you can adequately discern what is good and what is not in everything.

And now you can go ahead and tell me to lighten up, Beck. It’s just a TV show. Yeah, okay. In spite of all I just said, I did enjoy the series. I’m glad it’s over, but I’m not sorry I watched all six years of it. I’ve enjoyed the discussions along the way, and even the openings it’s given me to talk about matters of faith and the gospel.

***Update***A friend on Facebook passed this blog post along. I don't know how legit it is, but after reading it I can concede that we, the viewers were actually given more answers than some of us gave them credit for, but I was just looking for something so different I didn't see them for what they were. I didn't realize just how much of their weird 'spiritual' speculations and worldview mishmash they were actually pushing throughout, and just how committed to it they actually were. I was looking more for just an interesting story, not an extended speculation on 'faith' and the 'afterlife' from people who don't look to the Bible as our sole authority for such discussions. I think their weird spiritual syncretism is so far off the grid for me I just wanted to see it a different way. Looking back over the last season, I can buy all that about the Others being people Jacob brought who were corrupted by MIB and the show being an exploration of free will and faith vs. science, etc. In fact, I don't know why I didn't see it more clearly. We were actually told that, if you think about it, in one of the early conversations we see between those characters before we really knew who/what they were when MIB asks Jacob why he keeps bringing them when things always go badly.... Anyway, I think what I dislike most about the whole thing is the weird spirituality, but you knew that would be my concern anyhow, right? The blog author says the show ultimately comes down on the side of faith, and that's the issue, isn't it? Faith in faith or faith in your own made up system or worldview really isn't very helpful and is ultimately damning, if you want to be honest. The only faith that really has saving power is the faith that clings to Jesus Christ alone. But that is not what our world wants to hear. And in a postmodern society, absolute truth claims like that are taboo, but it's just fine to push a mishmash and feel good 'faith' where you're given lifetimes to connect and progress. But the thing is, there is true truth. And that, my friends, is probably why I had the strong reaction to Lost that I did, and why I really wasn't that surprised after all the hints we'd been given along the way. And now I'm really, really done with Lost. :-)

Perspective

In the eyes of the “real world” I’ve always been something of a nerd, geek, whatever the going word is these days. This bothers me much less than it used to. The older I get, the more I see just what it takes to be ‘cool’ in the eyes of the world, the more I’m just as glad to be a nerd, thank you very much. The cost of ‘cool’ is just too high, in my opinion. There are things that matter much more to me than being hip, popular, cool, etc. It’s interesting, too, how I used to care about pop culture and celebrity gossip, but I just find a lot of what’s on those grocery store magazines anymore to be less interesting and more profoundly sad. I have seen some headlines while waiting in the grocery aisle and come home and cried and prayed for the broken lives those headlines represent. I don’t know why anyone would want the limelight. It is not kind, nor is it friendly to a happy, wholesome, holy life. I am happy and content to live a normal, some might even say boring, everyday life, in relative anonymity.

But if the smile on my daughter’s face this morning as we drove to Target, one of our very favorite places, is any indication, then in her eyes I am one cool momma. “Play it loud, Mommy!” she said as I pulled out my iPod and dialed up the ‘Kids’ Music” playlist. We proceeded to go rockin’ down the road with Go Fish booming through the car. Who says you can’t be cool in a minivan? So what if when I shuffle music on my iPod you’re more likely to hear kid music these days than music I would probably rather listen to on any given day? And most people would probably look at us in our minivan singing along with our Go Fish booming away and me in my mom jeans and sneakers and find me uncool in the extreme.

I used to think there was something wrong with me that I don’t have a driving ambition for a career in the ‘real world’. I don’t think that anymore. Really, I think I’m doing what I’m called to do. I don’t have to buy into the lie that I’m not contributing to society by staying home. I also don’t have to buy the lies that what the world offers up as cool and fun and desirable really are. I just have different priorities at this stage in my life. I have learned that there are things that are more important and much more fulfilling than what the gossip magazines and grocery store women’s fashion magazines and Oprah and talk shows say I should I want to be. I’d much rather seek after holiness. I’d much rather take care of my home and to be content to be where I am at this stage of my life. For me, this is where I am called to be. And I am thankful God has provided in such a way and my husband is so supportive that I get the privilege to stay at home. I know that is a blessing, and I do not take it for granted. And this is where I want to be content to be.

And looking in the rearview mirror at my little girl waving her hands in the air and singing along with Go Fish, and knowing my boys feel secure and loved here at home, that makes it worth it to be a little uncool. My boys are getting to the age where Mom doesn’t really seem all that cool, and even seems a little weird sometimes, but they’ve been around enough kids with really ‘cool’ parents to have expressed to us that they are thankful for what we have at home. That matters a lot more than being cool in the long run, I believe. My preschooler, however, still thought we were mighty cool today as she waved her hands in the air and sang along without a care.

And ‘cool’ really is all in the eye of the beholder.

Status Update

Hmmm. I seem to be taking a blogging break. It isn't a planned or intentional break, more of an incidental one, I suppose. Lots going on in real life and too tired to blog much, plus not much to say when I finally remember I have a blog. Hello! I have a blog!

I think I'll shamelessly borrow Lisa's format again to spur at least some kind of post today.

Sitting....where I always sit when I blog, at my computer desk.

Listening....to my daughter play with her toys nearby. She has the funniest little voices for all her little people and stuffed animals. I love listening to her imagination at work.

Waiting....for my coffee to finish perking. I am in serious need of a caffeine pick-me-up this afternoon.

Anticipating....more rain. It's still pretty gray out, so I am quite sure the rain we've already had today is not all we will yet see.

Feeling...a little bittersweet as things are winding down this May in preparation for summer break. I always do, but more so this year since we'll be moving next month.

Preparing...for our big move. I spent all of yesterday cleaning out one boy's room and getting it ready for the move. I won't even get started on my frustration over teaching some people the value of being neat, orderly and organized. That would be much too long a post. Anywhoooo....lots still to do before the movers come to pack us up the week after VBS in June. At least my guys will get to go to VBS here one more time.

Contemplating....being finished with choir here once Awana is over on the 26th. I have enjoyed singing in the choir again at church after not singing in choir since while we lived in South Carolina, but I think the kids' activities being finished on Wednesday nights is a good time for me to go ahead and say, "Adieu," as well. After that there are only a few weeks left, and I'm still having a hard time really realizing that we are, in fact, leaving shortly.

Excited...about our new house. We are building in Kentucky, where we'll be going. Drew was just there yesterday and brought pictures of our soon to be completed new house. We've never lived in a brand new house where we got to pick the carpet and paint and all. It's exciting.

Praying....we find the right church when we do move and that we are wise in how we go about searching for that church - meaning, that we will be looking at and for the right things prayerfully, a place where the gospel is proclaimed rightly, God's word is upheld as the authority for life and godliness, and where we will be challenged to grow in the faith, and where the worldview training we are seeking to give our children will be reinforced.

Ready...on a less serious note, for the TV show Lost to be finished. Last Tuesday's episode....not my favorite. I enjoyed the ride, but I think I'll be ready to get off when it's finished. I will be ready to see where the writers have been going on this most interesting of stories, but, as I've said all along, I'm pretty sure I won't really like it. If Tuesday was any indication, I'm still saying it. More questions that will probably never be answered. At this point, I just hope enough answers are provided to at least have some closure. It is definitely a show that will finish when it's supposed to and not keep trying to drag on past its expiration date. Sorry, too tired to really blog about the story itself right now.

Wondering....if I'll ever get back to real blogging again. I'd like to.

Noticing....that my coffee has finished. I think I'll take that as a good time to quit this insubstantial post and go enjoy it. Besides, my daughter is asking for help putting her doll's hair in a ponytail. Priorities, you know.

Movie Recommendation

"Unless I am convinced by Scripture and by plain reason and not by Popes and councils who have so often contradicted themselves, my conscience is captive to the word of God. To go against conscience is neither right nor safe. I cannot and I will not recant. Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me."

We just watched the movie Luther with the boys. Excellent!! I had not seen it yet, and Drew brought it home the other day. I'd like to watch it again without the boys' interrupting every so often with questions so I missed a lot. But it's all good - good to have the conversations we had with the boys that the movie generated for us.