They Are New Every Morning

"Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul,

'Therefore I hope in Him.'"

Lamentations 3:22-24

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

2 Corinthians 12:9

"Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Hebrews 4:14-16

I don't know about you, but after the last few days I've had, sometimes even wishing I could have a 'do over,' I find these truths quite comforting. Rather than spinning up to worry about some things that I am very tempted to fret about, I can rest tonight, and I can get up tomorrow, Lord willing, ready for a new day. Amazing grace!

That Mom

I was that mom today. You know the one. If you were at Schnuck's this afternoon, you really know the one. I'm talking about the mom with the screaming banshee of a kid who was displaying her sin nature as loudly as possible for everyone to witness (the kid, not the mom). Anyone who thinks we don't have a sin nature should spend a little time with a 3-year-old. Just sayin'. I'm talking about the mom who is trying to get through her grocery list while dragging said screaming banshee while everyone in the store is tempted to think what a brat that kid is, why doesn't she do something about it already?

Things to remember:
1. Going the grocery store with a really long list right after preschool and right at lunch time is probably not the best idea.

2. Later, when I am no longer that mom, but maybe a little nostalgic for those days, I want to remember that I was that mom once. And when I see that mom from the other side, I want to think that maybe that mom is not a bad mom and maybe that kid is not a brat, really. Maybe that mom is a really good mom who is trying to raise her child not to be a brat and is choosing to persevere through a really embarrassing moment in order to teach her beloved child that screaming and pitching a fit is not appropriate and will not get her what she wants, nor will it make her a happy and productive person. Maybe that mom is trying to raise her child to not be that teenager one day, and it's better to persevere through the temper outbursts now and teach this kid that her strong-willed nature must be kept under control so she can be a decent teenager rather than one out of control. That's what I want to remember when I'm no longer that mom.

3. And maybe, just maybe I can remember to be that mom who has been there who can smile sympathetically at that mom and reassure her that you only get to be that mom for a short time, and for every embarrassing and frustrating and difficult moment there are a multitude of sweet ones to counteract it, so make the most of it.

By God's grace I pray that I will be that mom to the praise of His glory and parent in the Spirit not in the flesh. By God's grace, I pray that I will be patient and persevere and train up these blessings in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and that He would overcome the failings that I bring to the table. By God's grace I pray that when I find myself in the position of being that mom at times that I would remember His grace and that He would grant me, please, the wisdom to parent that child well. By God's grace I pray that my children will grow up to love Him and serve Him, in spite of my failings as that mom.

Then being that mom will all be worth it.

Deceitful Heart

“The heart is deceitful above all things,

And desperately wicked;

Who can know it?

I, the LORD, search the heart,

I test the mind,

Even to give every man according to his ways,

According to the fruit of his doings.”

Jeremiah 7:9-10

How true this verse is. How I fear and hate the inner Pharisee that is so skilled at covering over a bad attitude with a spiritual veneer.

I sing in the choir at church. For a few weeks now, I’ve been struggling with an attitude I know isn’t pleasing to the Lord, mixed with some genuine tiredness in response to some very real stresses we’ve had (and are still having) recently, some genuine convictions I am struggling to understand, and probably a need to just take a break from choir for a little while. It all came to a head this week with a presentation we had this weekend in preparation for Easter. I’ve mentioned before that I have struggles with artistic portrayals and theatrical depictions of Jesus. I just do. It stems back to some earlier experiences I’ve had, and I still struggle with whether my concerns are legitimate or just me being hyper sensitive spiritually or even worse, legalistic.

Well, when we first began discussing this choir and drama production, that familiar qualm came back and I wasn’t sure if I would sing in this play or not. I went to practice, learned the music, and struggled over the decision, trying to determine how much of my reluctance is legitimate, and how much is just tiredness and, worse, how much may be deeper sinful attitudes I struggle with periodically. Trying to come to terms honestly with what’s really happening in my heart here.

Long story short, I chose to sit out for a little while, mainly because I felt it would be better to sit out if I couldn’t sing without having every little thing affect my attitude, but I didn’t really tell many people why. I still don’t know how serious my concerns about actors playing the role of Jesus and artistic license with the portrayal and the play on emotions that is part and parcel of such a performance should be. I still don’t know if that should be a concern or if l am thinking too much, but I am beginning to have a growing conviction that more of my discomfort with it than I am yet comfortable admitting may have been an excuse I used in my own mind to justify some less spiritual attitudes I was struggling to overcome.

This morning I sat in the audience and did get to worship in a way that is hard for me when I’m singing as part of the performance, and for that reason I am pretty sure I made the right decision to sit out this time. I'm not sure I would have been as able to heed the heart work that the Holy Spirit did in me this morning had I not been sitting quietly in the pew today.

What has struck me most and foremost this year about the crucifixion is just how clueless the crowd and the soldiers and the religious leaders and Pilate and Herod and everyone involved were about just Who Jesus really was, and how clueless we still often can be today about just Who He IS. And it struck me how clueless I am, too. How often I am just not in awe of His majesty, His worth, His holiness, His love and His amazing grace. It struck me how often I am flippant about things I should not be flippant about or lazy about prayer or just so absorbed with my little life that I forget that it is so not all about me. It strikes me to my very core when I think of Jesus on the cross praying, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” This is the essence of grace. He forgives all the ugliness and ignorance and pride and laziness and forgetfulness and uncharitable attitudes....and.....and.....and....that is in my heart. He has forgiven me so much, and too many times I am so self-centered and self-focused that I cannot even see what is real. I can’t even see how awesome it is that I even get to be in His very presence, clean and forgiven. This is what hit me in my very heart this morning. May I learn to see Jesus and savor Him and glorify Him for who He is and for how worthy He is of praise. How I long for my one desire to be to know Him and to see Him and to praise Him. How I long for my one aim to be to please Him.

How ashamed I am and how painful it is when I come face to face with the hypocrite within who will try to cover over sinful attitudes and legalism rather than face them and repent. How thankful I am for the grace which brings those attitudes to light and will not leave me in the Pharisaical mode but lovingly brings me back to the foot of the cross and shines His light on my heart, unveils my eyes from deception, and reminds me that He has washed me clean with His blood and clothed me with His righteousness and that He is ever interceding for me at the throne of grace.

How very, very thankful I am for grace.

Palm Sunday

Psalm 118:25-26
“Save now, I pray, O LORD;
O LORD, I pray, send now prosperity.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD!
We have blessed you from the house of the LORD.”


Jesus entered Jerusalem to the shouts of, “Hosanna,” and the people waved palm branches as, seated on a donkey, He passed by on the streets of the holy city. They were ready to welcome Him as King. Or so they thought.

They wanted salvation from the tyranny of Rome. They wanted a temporal salvation tied to this world. They wanted an earthly kingdom.

Their view of God was not nearly high enough.

They did not even realize that He came, not for some temporal, earthly salvation from Rome, but He came to save them from a far more insidious enemy. He came to save them from an enemy they weren’t even aware they needed to be saved from.

He came to save them from the tyranny of their sin. He came to redeem them from the bondage of sin that is part of every one of us down to our DNA. He came to free us from our sin nature that resulted from the first Adam’s fall.

He came to die. For that is the wage our sin merits. By grace, He came to offer Himself in our place; the spotless, guiltless, sinless Lamb who came to pay the penalty for undeserving sinners such as we are.

So, as they hailed Him that Palm Sunday, they had no idea that less than a week later He would hang, bloodied and dying on a Roman cross, the true Passover Lamb, after they cried, “Crucify Him!”

And less than week later, when He gave up His spirit saying, “It is finished,” the curse of sin was broken. The price was paid. He did what He came to do.

Less than a week after that Palm Sunday, the temple veil was torn in two and the Holy of Holies was opened to those who would place their trust in the true King, Jesus Christ whose blood paid the ransom for their souls.

As we sing, “Hosanna,” on this Palm Sunday, we remember that it didn’t end with the triumphal entry. Praise God that Jesus completed the work He came to do, so that a week later, He rose triumphantly from the grave. To God be the glory!

**Originally posted on April 1, 2007

Some Thoughts About LOST

My apologies to those of you who are not LOST watchers. I am one. My blog. I had some thoughts I needed to write about it. Feel free not to read if you find that boring.

Though I’m fairly certain it is not the point the writers of LOST are trying to make, I think last night’s episode is a great argument for how bad theology leads to bad decisions and much heartache. Anyone else wish you could have taken Richard aside and explained the real meaning of that cross last night?

And for those of you who, like me, are reformation Christians, anyone else a little concerned that the character who had a more biblically accurate view of the nature of fallen mankind is the ‘bad’ guy (MIB) and the implications of what that means for the worldview of the show? It seems to me, depending upon just who Jacob is supposed to be in this weird show, that the writers just may be subscribing to an openness theory that I do not like - did you catch how Jacob was surprised by Richard’s suggestion that if the ‘good’ did nothing to intervene, the evil certainly would. He had not adequately thought through the implications of his little game he is playing with people.

Something else that just occurred to me: Do you think when the doctor threw the gold cross on the ground, calling it worthless, do you think we were supposed to only think of it as monetarily worthless and a slap in the face of Isabella's gift, OR was there a deeper message being implied by the writers that faith in the work that was done on that cross is worthless? Maybe I'm just reading too much into it, but you have to admit that this show has been laden with all kinds of religious symbols from all kinds of religious systems and I can't keep myself from wondering if the message we are meant to get from it is that it is all worthless? I sure hope that's not what they are saying, but it did occur to me. If so, I am profoundly sad. Not disappointed, because you may remember that I mentioned at the beginning of this season that I was pretty sure I might have a major problem with the direction this show is going to go and that I am quite sure it is not being written from a Christian worldview. Last night confirmed that thought. So, not surprised, not expecting anything different, not ever expecting to get my theology from a TV show or expecting Hollywood to get it right, just commenting on what I saw.

Yeah, yeah, I know.......lighten up, Beck, it’s just a TV show. Whatever.

Dinner With Kids

Dinner with the children was.....interesting...tonight. My husband was away tonight. It is Spring Break. Kids are getting a little loopy.

We had dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and fish sticks for dinner tonight because it is easy and kid-friendly. Well, the kids had that and salad. I had salad and a quesadilla.

Anyway, dinner with boys is sometimes an adventure. I looked over at one boy’s plate, and he had a dinosaur in halves with ketchup on each half and another dinosaur looming over it in dinner mode. The other boy was having paroxysms of giggles over the word “poop.” My daughter was walking two fish sticks around the table and having them say, “Nice to meet you,” to each other.

I found that I was suddenly not very hungry after all.

Obviously the parental job of civilizing these kiddos needs some more attention.

Can they go to bed now?

Duct Tape

Have you ever been out in public with a three-year-old and wish that you had put duct tape on her mouth before she said something you understand because you know the thought process behind it and how her little brain works, but the strangers who hear it and have no way of knowing you or what you think about important things will not understand and will most definitely misinterpret in a quite unpleasant way, wondering just what you are teaching her at home? And you know you most definitely are NOT teaching her what they will mistakenly assume from the weird way she worded her comment, and then later you still feel terrible days afterward and you beat yourself up because you finally figure out what you should have said that you were too stunned at the time by her comment and with the mortification of wondering why in the world she came up with THAT comment and why in the world she had to make it in THAT way at THAT very inopportune moment to be able to think clearly on your feet, instead of just wishing the floor would just open up and swallow you right now, so that you could say it at the moment you needed to say it? Yeah, me too,

It's Not Easy Being Green

I’ve never considered myself to be a ‘granola’ girl if you know what I mean. I’m not in a panic over so-called global warming or overly concerned about mankind’s ability to destroy the environment. In fact, I think we have been blatantly lied to about much of the hysteria and worry over the environment. Here’s my thinking on environmental concerns. Man was given stewardship of the earth by our Creator as we see in Genesis 1:26. I believe we should care for the world we’ve been given because it is God’s creation. I do not believe we should worship the creation, however. It is not “Mother Earth” or "Mother Nature." God is sovereign over all, including the environment. That is not to say we should be careless about the environment, but it should be kept in perspective.

All that being said, you’re probably going to think I’m a little weird when I tell you I’ve recently discovered the benefits of making my own laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent and household cleaners with more natural ingredients. In fact I made my first batch of laundry detergent just this week, so this a whole new thing for me, and so far I am quite pleased with the results. I like that by doing so I put less chemicals into the environment, but that isn’t the main reason I’m doing it. The main reason I’m doing it is I was listening to a friend talk about how much she enjoys doing this, and how much better she feels knowing that she doesn’t need unnecessary chemicals that are not very healthy for her family in order to keep her home clean. I liked what she had to say, and I must say, I really am pleased with my efforts toward using more natural cleaners so far. Granted, if you just like that Tide or Gain smell and don’t feel like your clothes are clean without the scent, you probably wouldn’t like the homemade stuff. I do. My clothes actually seem cleaner to me now. Plus, I really like the significant cost savings that are a huge benefit of making my own cleaners. It’s going to be big savings, and that’s the real reason I am excited to have found the homemade, natural alternative to commercial cleaners. I wouldn't say that what I’m doing is really about being ‘green,’ because it’s really more about healthier alternatives that also will help the budget. I like that I can be industrious and save my family some money. Makes me feel just a tad like the Proverbs 31 woman.

One thing I don’t like about so-called ‘greener’ living, however, is that in order to find some of the ingredients I need, you have to shop at health food type stores or websites. Ya’ll, there are some kooky beliefs out there. And you really find them when you ‘go green.’ For example, I was looking for something called Castile soap. We were shopping at a local department store that I really like to patronize but won’t name at the moment, and found some lavender scented Castile soap in a bottle that had a lot of tiny little writing all over the bottle. Excited to have found one of the items I needed at a store I frequent, I purchased a bottle. When I got home, I actually read some of that tiny little print. Oh, dear. It was someone’s very wacky religious philosophy that sounded like they’d been spending a little too long in mindless meditation exercises and had travelled so far within that they had really jumped off the deep end into their inner Oprahfication, claiming that oldest lie in the world that all religions are the same. Needless to say, I will not be buying THAT brand of soap again. I poured the soap in a bottle I had and threw away the creepy bottle it came in, and still feel really bad that I actually paid money to a company that is peddling that kind of spiritual poison. I didn’t want that garbage in my house.

So, my point is: read labels before purchasing. Well, that’s a side point. I guess my main point is: in the effort to be healthier, be careful that you do not allow an even worse poison into your home, heart and mind than the chemicals you may be trying to avoid ever were. There is a lot of bad thinking out there, much of it in the ‘green’ or ‘health’ movements. Know the truth. It is the truth that will set you free. That truth is Jesus. Not just who you think Jesus is, either. Just because someone mentions His name on their wacky little bottle, don’t make the mistake of thinking they are talking about HIM. Read the Bible. I plan to write more on that soon. Know Jesus. Know what is true and what is false. Guard your heart and mind. Because no matter how clean and healthy you make your body and your home, it is in the heart and mind that you must be clean as only a repentant, surrendered relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ can make you. All the ‘green living’ in the world is of no value if you do not have that.

Sad, But True How Some People View Government

This is funny in a scary sort of way. I guess what makes good satire is that there is so much truth to it....

**This comedian is funny, but I don't necessarily endorse everything I've seen on Youtube from him.

Status Report of Sorts

Drinking coffee....with hazelnut creamer and Splenda. It’s the first cup of the afternoon. I foresee a second in the near future.

I had set the coffee on to perk as a motivator for me to finish the chore I was not wanting to do.

Chore is done now, coffee is being enjoyed. While enjoying, I am working mightily to tune out the umpteenth whining fit being pitched by my stubborn little three-year-old. Can I just say I’m feeling a little weary in the temper tantrum trenches these days? It’s not like we EVER give her what she wants when she screams and whines. You’d think she’d figure out a better way....but did I mention she’s stubborn? Good thing I am too, because this little girl is needing to learn that she can’t scream and manipulate her way through life. She’s choosing the hard way to learning it this week. There have been consequences for her behavior. She has not liked them. I’m hoping she will come to not like them so much she will learn to quit with the temper tantrums already. Responsible parenting is hard. It would be so much easier at the moment to just give in and have some peace, but oh, what a whirlwind that would reap down the road. I’d rather the difficulty now than to have to reap the consequences of irresponsible parenting when she’s older.

People keep telling me her strong-willed streak is something for which I’ll be thankful when she’s older. I pray often for wisdom and mercy to parent her well. I pray that for each of the kids.

But I digress from my original reason for sitting down to write a blog post.

The dreaded chore I just finished was to go through Boo’s clothes and take out the 3T’s she has outgrown and pack them away for give-away. I can see we will need to go shopping before spring gets here....we’re a little low in the warmer weather clothes department.

I am having a really hard time packing away Boo’s clothes. Actually, it isn’t the packing them away that is hard. It’s the giving them away that is hard. To be able to take that bag of clothes out to my car and actually get rid of them is to finally admit that Boo is, in all likelihood and unless God overrules that thought, our last baby. And she is quickly becoming not so much of a baby anymore. Intellectually I am okay with this. Emotionally I thought I was until I was sitting in the locker room at the Y this morning and thinking about things and started to cry. Well, for the most part emotionally I’m okay with this. I’m doing a lot better than I did after previous miscarriages, thanks be to our gracious God.

But to actually give away those clothes is to finally admit that the baby season of my life is probably over.

So, there’s that bag sitting there in the hallway that I’m not sure I’m quite ready to take away yet. It can wait a little bit, I guess.

And then there’s the temper tantrum trenches. Maybe I’m nearing the end of that season, too.

Being a mom is hard. It’s good, but it’s hard sometimes.

Memorable Quotes

“Although my memory’s fading, I remember two things very clearly: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.” - John Newton in the movie Amazing Grace

The longer I walk with Jesus, the more this is my heart’s cry. What amazing grace we have been shown.

“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.” - John Newton

I relate to this, too. I am not yet what I want to be, but I have a great and mighty Savior, a compassionate High Priest who is able to save to the uttermost those who are His by faith, He will be faithful to complete what He started in me.

“Do you intend to use your beautiful voice to praise the Lord....or change the world?” - said to William Wilberforce in the movie Amazing Grace.

I believe that with his successful lifelong effort to end the slave trade in England, he chose to do both.

Saying It Is So Doesn't Make It So

My three-year-old is a stubborn little thing. We had an interesting “conversation” this morning in the car on the way to the Y. As we drove along, she asked if we were going to Awana tonight. I told her, that, no, it is Friday. We go to Awana on Wednesday. Upon which she began crying and yelling that it is Wednesday, it is not Friday, and we are going to Awana. And she got progressively more upset about it and more insistent that it was Wednesday. I told her I wasn’t going to continue the conversation. She can yell as loudly as she wants that it’s Wednesday, it won’t make it so, and I had no intention of getting myself all worked up trying to reason with a 3-year-old who was being unreasonable. Which is pretty much what 3-year-olds do, act unreasonably when they do not get their way, that is. They aren’t capable of adult reasoning and it is foolish to try to engage in it when she’s like that.

The thing is, adults can be just as unreasonable. We live in a day and age when tolerance (as defined by our postmodern culture, not in the truest sense of the word), political correctness, pluralism, and niceness (defined as don’t you dare ever talk as if you are sure about anything or as if there are absolute rights and wrongs) are valued much more than truth. There is a bumper sticker I see often that sums it up. I’m sure you have seen it, too. It says, “COEXIST,” and all the letters incorporate symbols of various religions, worldviews, etc. That bumper sticker breaks my heart. Sure, we should be kind to people, no matter how different we are from each other, and yes, I hate that there are people who kill in the name of religion. That is shameful. That is the fruit of ‘religion’ which is devoid of a true knowledge of the One True God.

But the problem with the coexist idea and pluralism and ‘that’s fine for you, but my truth is different’ type of thinking or ‘all religions lead to the same end’ or any of that kind of thinking is that it just isn’t true. You can scream it, yell it, discuss it, have conversations about it, insist that it is so all you want, but it does not change the fact that there is only one way to God, and it is a narrow way. Ultimately to buy into the “all roads lead to god” or “all religions are just as valid and have just as much truth and lead to the same end,” you actually buy into a form of idolatry or atheism. Because to buy into that line of thinking is not to believe in the true God, who has revealed Himself and has said that the way to Him is very narrow. It is not through man-made religion, man-made thoughts about who God is, man-made ideas about how to approach God, it is only through His way, through relationship with Jesus Christ. And not just your or my idea of who Jesus is, but HIM, as He has revealed Himself.

Jesus said that He is the way, the truth and the life and no one comes to the Father but through Him. The fool has said in his heart there is no God. I heard a great sermon on that verse, by the way. The pastor said a clearer translation of that is that the fool says, “No, God.” As in, even if You are there, I don’t want You.

So, for all the voices telling us that all religions are the same, all roads lead to the same end, soft or loud, no matter how they say it, it does not make it true. Just because they want it to be so doesn’t make it so. People want to settle for “god-to-me” rather than submit to the only wise God who is the Lord, and as Christians, we have a calling to speak the truth into that darkness in love. And in doing so, we are called “intolerant, hateful, arrogant, etc.” But it does not make our message any less true or any less necessary. We have the only hope of reconciliation with God. We have the hope our culture desperately needs to hear, no matter how much it keeps telling us that tolerance is the thing and pluralism is more important than discovering the truth. Insisting that we can believe whatever we want as long as we are sincere doesn’t make it true, just as my daughter insisting that today was Wednesday didn’t make it any less Friday. What we believe matters. It matters in that it determines how we live and behave here and now, and it matters for eternity.

“The fool has said in his heart,

‘There is no God,’

They are corrupt,

They have done abominable works,

There is none who does good.”

Psalm 14:1

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’”

John 14:6

What's On My Nightstand - February 2010

Here it is the end of February, well past the fourth Tuesday, when my Nightstand post should have been written. I forgot it. So, I'm late to the party, as usual lately, but I wanted to go ahead and participate anyway. Not that the reading stack is all that large this month, but here it is, such as it is:

Currently Reading:

John Adams by David McCullough....very interesting. I am enjoying learning more about this remarkable man and his role in the founding of my country. I'm also enjoying learning what a remarkable woman his wife, Abigail, was. It takes me longer to read nonfiction than fiction, however, which is one reason for my short list this month.

For Bible Study:

Hoping for Something Better by Nancy Guthrie....we have arrived at chapter 6 of our study through the book of Hebrews, and every week just gets better and better. It is extremely encouraging to hear from members of our group how this study is stretching them, challenging them, causing them to rethink things they've been taught all their lives as they examine what the scripture says. I love it!!! On a personal note, this study has really been a blessing to me as I am walking through my recent miscarriage and its physical and emotional aftermath. It is such a glorious blessing to experience how intact, solid theology can help to navigate life. Jesus is the hope that anchors my soul, and I am so grateful for the grace He extends in letting me grow deeper and deeper into the truth as I walk through life and as He teaches me to apply that truth daily.

For Group Study with our Sunday night women's group at church:

Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss...yes, still. We will be continuing through April with this one. Again, what a blessing it has been to examine my thinking in the light of biblical truth.

Next up:

The Complete C.S. Lewis Signature Classics....Includes Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, The Abolition of Man, The Great Divorce, The Problem of Pain, Miracles, and A Grief Observed. I'm looking forward to reading this one, which has been sitting on my nightstand for a few months now just waiting for me to get around to it.

Well, that's it for this month. Be sure to check out 5 Minutes for Books to see what the other participants are reading this month.

T-Shirt Theology

I saw someone wearing a T-shirt at the Y on Monday, and I’ve been puzzling over it ever since.

On the front was the word, “Missing,” and there was a picture that I assume was supposed to represent Jesus. On the back it said, “Last seen on Calvary.”

Um. I have a problem with that. On several levels, I have a problem with that. When I first saw the front of the shirt, my immediate thought was, “No, He’s not missing. I know where He is.” And when I saw the back of the shirt I thought, “Well, that was certainly not the last place He was seen.” Hello? Resurrection! At least 500 people saw Him after the Resurrection and He was seen by His disciples ascending into Heaven. So, to say that He was last seen on Calvary is just wrong. Then you get to the whole graven image thing and start the discussion about how I have a problem with pictures of Jesus and artistic license and representations of Him and all that, and, well, interesting T-shirt, to say the least.

I began puzzling out what the intended point of the shirt was. Benefit of the doubt solution: I think probably it was some kind of statement about how we are taking Jesus out of the culture (think taking prayer out of the schools, Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, that kind of thing), and I get the point, but it is carelessly made. I guess it could also be trying to say He isn’t in the tomb any longer - He is risen, but, if so, it is an extremely clumsy and inaccurate way to do so. I’m just not sure what the point was supposed to be so it is confusing and irritating.

I know it’s just a t-shirt. I’m sure someone is probably reading this and thinking, “Lighten up!” But it seems to me that in an effort to be pithy or whatever, that we get too cute sometimes. Bad theology leads to wrong belief and wrong behavior. Our theology informs our actions. (Which reminds me, I have more on a related subject later as time permits.) If we want to be a light, we need to be clear, not confusing. I have no idea what that t-shirt was supposed to mean. I’m wishing I were better at thinking on my feet and had asked that woman what her shirt meant. You wear a provocative shirt like that, seems to me you’re begging to be asked. I have thought since that I’d really like to say, “Could you explain the meaning of your shirt, because I know how to find Jesus if you’re really looking.” But I didn’t think that quickly. More’s the pity.

Bad theology is irritating. Not only that, it’s dangerous. Even on a t-shirt.

***Totally Unsolicited and Shameless Plug: Carla has some better t-shirts to offer if you're interested. :-)

Beautiful Blogger Award

Veronica at A Quiet Heart has given me a sweet blogging award.

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I haven’t felt much like blogging this past week, but I want to thank Veronica for thinking of my blog in this way. I still find that I am a little nervous when I hit the “Publish Post” button, even after 3 years of blogging. Have I really been doing it so long already? It is somewhat easier than it used to be to write those posts, but there are still some times when I feel very weird thinking about the fact that there are actually people who read my blog. And that some of them like it at times. And we all know that a blogger's love language is comments. Thank you to all of you who comment once in a while. It's always so encouraging!

What a funny thing this blogging hobby is. I recently was thinking about how hypocritical I feel when I type out a heartfelt post where I’ve really tried to work out some thoughts or flesh out what I believe, and I write what I know is true, but maybe I don’t feel it yet. Something that was in our Tuesday Bible study this week helped me with that. Nancy Guthrie, in chapter 5 of her book Hoping for Something Better, while discussing the need to grow deeper in the faith, mentioned that unless we write out or talk out the truths of scripture and really wrestle with them we won’t truly make them ours and truly understand them to the point where they become a part of who we are and what we live. That was an ‘aha’ moment for me when I read that. This is what blogging has been for me. This is why I blog. Granted a lot of what I blog is fluff, but it has been a necessary place and outlet for me to hash out and wrestle out what I believe and to work out what I’m learning, too. And blogging has connected me with other like-minded bloggers who also love God’s word and enjoy writing about the serious and the not so serious things of life. So, thank you, Veronica, for mentioning my blog. I am enjoying getting to read your blog, too!

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The Rules: The recipient of the award chooses 15 bloggers to pass the award on to, and shares seven things about themselves.

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Now I get to pass this award along. I’m sorry to say that I have had to seriously pare down my blog reading since I was taking too much time at it, and recently I have not been very good at looking for new blogs to follow now that I waste, ahem, spend too much time on Facebook these days, so I didn’t follow the rules all the way to 15 in my list. I decided not to feel guilty about that and go with what I have here. However, these are bloggers I have enjoyed ‘meeting’ and who I check in with regularly - some since way back when I began blogging, and some more recently. I’m not even sure how I came across some of these blogs, but here is my list to award:

A Complete Thought

Everyday Mommy

Reflections of the Times

Three Times a Mom

Standing Firm in Quicksand

Alabamenagerie

Lisa Writes

The Upward Call

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The rules also said to share 7 things about myself. After 3+ years of blogging, I’m not sure I have 7 random things left to share. Let’s see what I can come up with:

1. . I used to hate coffee. Over the past two years I have come to enjoy it, and even crave it. I do not yet like it black, however. Most days I drink it with hazelnut creamer and Splenda.
2. I don’t like to exercise, but I miss it when I get out of the habit. My metabolism is so slow at the moment, I can’t seem to lose weight no matter how hard I try, however. But at least regular exercise and healthy eating keep me from gaining more.
3. The first words out of my daughter’s mouth every morning are, “Where are we going today?” She is not very much like her mother, who would be in danger of becoming a hermit without the go, go, go attitude Boo exhibits.
4. I am very ready for spring to get here. I miss the sun. I am tired of wearing a coat, and even more tired of keeping up with the kids’ coats. This Florida girl has had to make a big adjustment to the concept of winter now that I live in the midwest. I still like to see snow fall, though. And you can’t beat the beauty of spring and fall here.
5. I enjoy the TV show LOST. Okay, that’s not exactly news to anyone who has been reading here for long. I’m enjoying this last season, and curious to see how the mysteries will all come together.
6. I am not at all comfortable with dolls - of any size, on up to store mannequins. They creep me out. I think I’ve watched one too many Twilight Zone episodes. I also do not at all like clowns.
7. I am seriously thinking about growing my hair out. Again. I wonder how long I will stick with it this time.

The Fish Died at Tea Time - Updated

I just noticed that my son's fish is looking really wrong. Upon closer inspection, he seems to have expired. Sid will be experiencing the royal flush later on. Because of the rough week we've had, I am a little emotional and hormonal. I bawled when I saw that little fish nose down at the bottom of his bowl. I am dreading telling Michael that his fish is no longer among the living. Then again, his big brother seems to care more about the fish than he does. Joshua is the one that's always asking, "Did anyone feed Sid?"

We briefly contemplated buying a replacement and not telling Michael, but that would be wrong. Besides, it will be that much easier this summer when we move if we don't have to transport a Betta fish that no one but Boo has paid any attention to lately. Oh, dear. I just realized Boo is going to be crushed. She hugs his bowl every night before bed and says, "Good-night, Sid."

I think we'll wait to tell them until after Joshua's basketball game and dinner, since it's just about time to leave anyhow.

Poor Sid.

**Update: It looks like we will be burying the fish this afternoon. Michael couldn't stand the idea of flushing him. There is something extremely heart wrenching about tears in an 8-year-old boy's eyes when he is valiantly trying not to show them.

Thankful Thursday

I thought I would join Kim with her Thankful Thursday theme this week.

Today I am thankful for the bond we have with Christian brothers and sisters. What a gift we have been given when we trust Christ to forgive our sins and to reconcile us to God, that when He does that, He over and abundantly blesses us by placing us into a family, His family. I am so thankful for the genuine hugs and love and phone calls and cards and blog comments and so many other expressions of love that my Christian family have extended to me over the past week. May I be so willing to pass kindness on when I have opportunity as well.

I am thankful for Christian friends who enjoy sitting over a cup of coffee or lunch at Chick-fil-A and talk about fun things, serious things and pretty much anything while our kids enjoy spending time together, too.

I am very thankful for my Tuesday Bible study group and the wonderful truths we are exploring as we dig into the book of Hebrews together.

I am also thankful for the community of sorts that I have found in blogging. I know that the friendships formed in this format are not the same as real life, sit down for coffee and go through all the stuff of life together types of friends, but there is a camaraderie we share through the shared bond of belonging to Jesus Christ. And I love that even though we may not physically meet each other this side of Heaven, we have a bond of friendship that we will share there as we worship the King together for all eternity. It's nice to know you all are out there.

I'm thankful for my family, my parents, Drew's parents, and our brothers, and my brother's wife.

On a lighter note, I am thankful for Irish Breakfast Tea. I really enjoyed my pot of tea this morning.

And I am thankful for my iPod. It makes chores like cleaning the bathrooms or exercising on the treadmill oh so much more interesting to listen to good music or great preaching while doing them.

Truly I have much to be thankful for.

Heartache

Job 1:21

“...The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD.”

This has not been my most favorite Valentine’s weekend, and it has nothing to do with my Valentine, Drew. I love my man even more today than the day we married.

Once again, what happened was not in my plan. Sorrow accompanies another miscarriage over the course of this entire weekend. I had just begun to wrap my mind around being pregnant and to embrace the dream of holding our unexpected but welcome new little one come September, and now this. I am still a little numb as I type this, and it bothers me that I seem to be unable to cry, aside from the first tears on Friday afternoon when this all started. Several friends have called to offer sympathy and support, and I have heard the tears in their voices, but I cannot cry and just feel more emotionally numb as the physical pain increases, and all I feel now is that I just want it to be over. I feel sort of broken inside. Thank you to those of you who didn’t know what to say but called anyway. You have ministered to me in a very special way just to know that you care. And I know from experience that once the physical part of this is over, the emotional floodgates will open, and the tears that have sporadically fallen will increase, as I begin to accept that this dream is not to be after all.

I have decided not to dwell on asking, “Why?” I probably will not have an answer to the whys this side of Heaven, and that is okay. But I do know Who I am trusting with my broken heart, and Who I have always trusted. Jesus is the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe. Surely I can, and must, trust Him to bind up my broken heart and to take care of the “whys” in a way that will bring Him glory. In this I find rest.

Again I will sing, I will praise, and I will say, “Here I am,” even in this, even today.

Lord, here I am, ready to walk this path that You have chosen for me. Though I am broken and hurting I will trust You to bind up my broken heart and heal my physical pain. I will rest in You, the only One who can comfort my heart with the peace which passes all understanding and to grant me the rest for which I long. My great and mighty High Priest who is ever interceding for me, I leave my hurt and whys in Your hands. I will trust You to grant me the strength to glorify You even in this. It is in Christ alone in whom I have placed my trust. To God alone be the glory.

Food Weirdness

I went to the Y today and managed to really push through and did an hour of cardio and some weights. Not a bad morning.

Anyway, after all that exercising, I am hungry now that it is lunch time. Problem is, nothing sounded good to me. Nothing sounded like something I could eat. So, I’m having spinach (cooked with a little margarine and Creole seasoning), two boiled eggs, and two pieces of toast. Weird, but that is all that sounds good about now, and it sounds really good. Some people crave pickles and ice cream, I crave toast and spinach. I guess if I have to crave something, spinach is not a bad thing to crave.

The thing is, I am weird about toast, too. I like it very crunchy. Not burned, however, just very crunchy. I do not like it the way the toaster does it. It is not crunchy enough, even when burned when done in the toaster. I like to butter the bread and then let it dry and toast in the oven, where it gets just the right crunchiness without burning. Reminds me of the toast at Lake Yale when I went to GA camp there as a little girl. That is probably why I like it. Good memories. Everyone used to complain about the hard toast, but I liked it. Is it sad that the thing I’m remembering most right now from my times at Lake Yale is the toast? I know there were lots of other things that changed me there, too, but today it’s the toast that has my attention.

That’s about all I have for blogging thoughts at the moment. Except that I’m a little on pins and needles to find out what my doctor will say about some lab work we had done on Monday. Apparently my thyroid seems to be underactive and he needed to run some more tests to determine what to do about it. I hope we get answers soon. Underactive thyroid is not a good thing to have going on during pregnancy. Praying for peace and wisdom. You know, I kind of see all that as a blessing, because underactive thyroid would explain A LOT of things about me that I have struggled with for years but have not felt were serious enough to get checked out - feeling tired, thinking I must just be a ‘low-energy’ kind of person wondering how in the world some people do everything they do, not being able to lose that last 25 pounds no matter how hard I exercise and eat healthy, some of the emotional lows I go through periodically, all of it could be explained by this if they find that this is truly what is going on. I just hope they find out what to do and that it will be soon enough to hopefully help this baby to develop and grow as he or she should.

Also, I have some thoughts about LOST, which we watched last night. Maybe I’ll blog about that later, if anyone is interested. Maybe I won’t. We’ll see how the day goes today. :-)

Life is Precious

If you want to see something encouraging, check out the Focus on the Family website and watch the Tebow Story video. Beautiful.